First Date:

“I like long walks off short peers, throwing balogna at fat kids and punching babies. I have a rapist wit, I can sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves. TO BE OR NOT TO BE…. THAT IS THE QUESTION? Haha I dunno dude my mind is all over the place but I am feelin it TOTALLY. I f**kin rock dude’s and if you don’t know that well its obvious your f*n gay hahahah. Naw not really but if I haven’t raped you with my wit then pssshhhtttt you have no sense of humour SERIOUSLY. NO not really but if your not charmed by me by now by the end of this sentence STOP READING. I am most def not the chick for you hahahahah. Anyone else thanks for stopping by, I appreciate the appreciation!!!! So here we are me and you reader…….SOOOO WHAT ARE YOU WEARINGGGG??? hahahahahahahah JKKKKK I’m out……………………”

– from a girl’s dating profile