It’s that time of the year — the days are getting longer and the weather’s warming up. That means only one thing: time to call in sick.

Here are some actual, road-tested excuses collected in a survey from the job site careerbuilder.com

* I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
* I hurt myself bowling.
* I was spit on by a venomous snake.
* I had to be there for my husband’s grand jury trial.
* My monkey died.