Once there was a sea turtle and he lived in the desert.  He lived in Las Vegas and was a full-time gambler.  That was his job.  He’d plunk down hundreds of dollars playing Ultimate Poker.

So, anyway, the sea turtle was thirsty and he went to a water fountain.  Instead of getting water, he got mugged and shot in the head.

Then a crazy scientist stole his body from the city morgue (fortunately for the assailant, no body = no crime) and cut his body up into 3000 horizontal slices and put him on display in a Vegas exhibit to confuse children while their parents lost their college funds.

Moral of the story:  Don’t bring your children to shitty Vegas exhibits they don’t want to be at.