davepoobond: NO, YOU SUCK
wenonahgurl: i think you’re confused
davepoobond: I THINK YOU’RE CONFUSED
wenonahgurl: why is that?
davepoobond: WHY IS THAT?
wenonahgurl: why am i confused you imd me
davepoobond: BLAH BLAH BLAH YOU’RE AN IDIOT
davepoobond: DO YOU LIKE PORN
davepoobond: I LIKE PORN
davepoobond: I HAVE 5 GIGS OF PORN
wenonahgurl: i figured
davepoobond: HOW
davepoobond: IS IT A MATHEMATICAL EQUATION
davepoobond: I WOULDN’T KNOW BECAUSE I DROPPED OUT IN KINDERGARTEN
wenonahgurl: seemed like you’d be the type
davepoobond: YEAH WELL YOU KNOW US DRUGGIES THAT’VE BEEN SMOKIN SINCE WE WERE 5
wenonahgurl: intersting
wenonahgurl: but good to know
wenonahgurl: so what else do you like doing besides smoking up and jacking off
wenonahgurl: to pron
wenonahgurl: porn*
wenonahgurl: sorry
davepoobond: I LIKE TO KNOCK OFF LIQUOR STORES AND STEAL THE PORN THERE
wenonahgurl: sounds like good fun
davepoobond: YEAH
wenonahgurl: are you in school
davepoobond: NO I TOLD YOU I DROPPED OUT IN GRADE K
davepoobond: COULDN’T TAKE THE PRESSURE OF SITTING IN A SQUARE ON THE BIG RUG
wenonahgurl: oh right i forgot
wenonahgurl: can imagine the difficulties you had with that
davepoobond: ITS KINDA HARD
davepoobond: MOM NEVER TAUGHT ME ABOUT SHAPES
wenonahgurl: the floor or something else?? 😉
davepoobond: I THOUGHT A SQUARE WAS A CIRCLE
davepoobond: AND A CIRCLE WAS A TRIANGLE
davepoobond: SO THAT PRETTY MUCH MADE A SQUARE A TRIANGLE
davepoobond: OR A TRIANGLE A SQUARE
davepoobond: FUCKED UP AIN’T IT
davepoobond: THEY ALSO TAUGHT ME THE COLORS WRONG
davepoobond: THEY SAID RED WAS YELLOW
davepoobond: GREEN WAS PINK
wenonahgurl: im soooo sorry
davepoobond: IT PUT ME ON MEDICINES I SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN TAKING
davepoobond: I’M HALF-PAST DEAD RIGHT ABOUT NOW
davepoobond: I’M ON DISABILITY
wenonahgurl: gotcha
wenonahgurl: i can see that now
davepoobond: ALL I DO IS EAT WHEAT PRODUCTS, TRISCUITS AND FROOT LOOPS
davepoobond: AND SIT ON WHAT IS LEFT OF MY ASS AFTER THE OPERATION
davepoobond: CAUSE I WAS IN NAM
davepoobond: OR I THOUGHT I WAS
davepoobond: AND SOMEHOW MY TORSO WAS BLOWN OFF
wenonahgurl: are you high now???
wenonahgurl: that would explain a lot
davepoobond: NO, I’M OFF THAT. NOW I EAT JAM
wenonahgurl: really?
davepoobond: YEAH
davepoobond: JAM IS GOOD
davepoobond: AND ITS HEALTHY
davepoobond: I GET JAM FOR FREE
wenonahgurl: from where?
davepoobond: CAUSE SMUCKERS PUT ME ON THEIR “GIVE FREE JAM TO” LIST
davepoobond: YOU HAVE TO BE SPECIAL, LIKE ME
wenonahgurl: oh gotcha
davepoobond: SMUCKERS MAKES GOOD JAM
davepoobond: I ONLY EAT TWO THINGS. JAM AND PUDDING
wenonahgurl: interesting
davepoobond: JELLO CHARGES ME A LITTLE LESS THAN HALF PRICE, THOSE BASTARDS
davepoobond: ITS HARD BUYING THINGS ON DISABILITY
davepoobond: I CAN’T KEEP MY ESCALADE PAYMENTS ROLLING IF I GOTTA PAY HALF PRICE OF PUDDING
wenonahgurl: really?
davepoobond: NOW YOU MAY ASK HOW I DRIVE
davepoobond: I DONT
davepoobond: I HIRE SOME GUY
davepoobond: FROM A FANCY BUTLER STORE
wenonahgurl: nice
davepoobond: HE COSTS 200 DOLLARS A DRIVE
davepoobond: AND HE MAKES ME LOOK DAMN GOOD
davepoobond: I USUALLY GET THIS GUY NAMED EDWARD. HE’S A BRITISH GUY
davepoobond: BUT WHEN I’M GOING DOWN TO THE GHETTO PART OF BEVERLY HILLS (THAT’S WHERE I LIVE), I USUALLY HIRE A BIG FAT BLACK GUY
davepoobond: OR A SKINNY MEXICAN
wenonahgurl: gotcha
davepoobond: boo
wenonahgurl: hi again
davepoobond: again?
davepoobond: i just got on
wenonahgurl: we already talked???
wenonahgurl: remember?
davepoobond: i saw you on my buddy list so i thought i knew you
davepoobond: i dont think i do
wenonahgurl: i figured
davepoobond: was someone else talking to you
wenonahgurl: yeah why?
davepoobond: was he talking about Darrel talking about his miseducation again?
davepoobond: i swear, it was a mistake to let him keep his arms
wenonahgurl: no bu what are you talking about
davepoobond: there’s this guy, right
davepoobond: his name is Darrel
davepoobond: he’s a stupid fag
wenonahgurl: gotcha
davepoobond: all he does is whine and complain
wenonahgurl: and who’s this then
davepoobond: so last week i cut his legs off and tossed him in the basement
davepoobond: but i guess he made his way to the computer
davepoobond: my name is Pierre
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