Tag Archives: talking dog

Joke #9109

This guy sees a sign in front of a house “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Yep,” the mutt replies.

“So, what’s your story?”

The mutt looks up and says, “Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leader, cause no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says “Ten dollars.”

The guy says he’ll buy him but asks the owner, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him for $10?”

The owner replies, “He’s such a liar.”

Joke #8981

A guy and his dog go into a bar.

The bartender says, “Hey, get that dog out of here… we don’t allow dogs in here.”

Wait a minute, the guy says, “This is no ordinary dog ! This is ‘Plato’ the talking dog!”

“Yeah, sure” says the bartender.

“I’ll prove it to you,” says the guy. “Plato… what’s on top of a building?”

“ROOF!” says the dog.

“Look,” says the bartender, “just how dumb do you think I am?”

“Wait a minute,” says the guy. “Plato, how does sandpaper feel?”

“RUFF!” says the dog.

“Do I have ‘stupid’ tattooed across my forehead or something,” says the bartender. “Now get that dog out of here! ”

“Wait.. I’m not through”, says the guy. “Plato, who was the greatest baseball player of all time?”

“RUTH!” says the dog.

“That does it !! ” says the bartender, and he throws them both out on the street.

Outside, the dog looks at his owner and says, “Do you think I should have gone with DiMaggio?”