I went to a laboratory and asked them to make a clone of me because as a bachelor I’m an endangered species. They refused because they wanted to keep it that way.
A bachelor was finding it hard to decide whether he should marry a very beautiful but stupid girl or a rather plain-looking creature who was blessed with a magnificent voice. Art triumphed. He married the soprano.
The morning after the nuptials he woke up, took one look at his sleeping bride, nudged her and shrieked, “For heaven’s sake, sing!”
A handsome bachelor was sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out when along came his girlfriend. “I’ll kiss those tears away,” she said, trying to console him. For several minutes she smothered him with kisses, but he still continued to cry. “Won’t anything stop those tears?” she asked him.
Looking up and rubbing his eyes, he said, “No. It’s hay fever. But please continue the treatment.”
BACHELOR: “Listen, baby, you’ve got to admit that guys like me don’t grow on trees.”
GIRL: “No, they swing from them!”
BACHELOR: “Mr. Smith, I want permission to marry your daughter.”
FATHER: “Before I give you my answer, I have to know one thing. Do you drink?”
BACHELOR: “Thanks, but business before pleasure.”
Bachelor: “I’ll have you know girls tear their hair to go out with me.”
Bachelorette: “That’s fine, if you happen to like bald-headed girls.”