Download: Slippery Mouse

  Slippery Mouse (5.3 KiB, 1,743 hits)

Want a challenge using your mouse? Take it to the next level of extremeeeeenesss!!! Submitted by Holmes. It makes your mouse "slippery" so that its hard to control it. Its fun. Try running it twice at once... (thanks to DigitalX for this program comment)

 

#10742: MadManWithAnAxe -> Holmes

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: It’s mean to name your kid Fuckface.

Holmes: ha

Holmes: how true

Holmes: and yet…

Holmes: how hilarious

MadManWithAnAxe: hehe

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: All the money in the world can’t buy your dignity back if someone videotapes you trying to give oral pleasure to a lawn gnome.

Holmes: damn there goes all my hopes for my dignity back

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Polar bears do not like complimentary ass massages.

Holmes: have you tried it? don’t knock it until you try it

MadManWithAnAxe: hahaha

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: If you’re going to attempt to stick your head up someone elses anal cavity, it’s probably in your best interest to wear goggles.

Holmes: well that brings new meaning to the term: i can’t see shit

MadManWithAnAxe: HAHA

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: It’s not against the law to put a litter of kittens into your mouth…but it should be.

Holmes: whats wrong with eating more then one pussy at once?

MadManWithAnAxe: HEH

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: A human face doesn’t taste as good as I thought it would.

Holmes: oh well..theres always hope in eating a dogs face

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: I’ll bet everyone without legs has a funny story to tell.

Holmes: hah…uncle benny cut his legs off because we wouldn’t feed him his second dinner!

MadManWithAnAxe: hehehehe, that’s great

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Just because the space-gnomes inside your head tell you to, it’s never a good idea to staple yourself to pogo stick and yell “BEWARE!: I AM POGO-BOY, THE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE UNIVERSE!” People might think you’re crazy.

Holmes: it’s sooo typical of people to judge me just because i am pogo-boy…will the racism ever end?

MadManWithAnAxe: HEH

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: You may think it’s cool to dress up in hot pants and a ten gallon hat and attend random people’s funeruls and sing 80’s style karaoke , but you’re really just making an ass out of yourself.

Holmes: ….NOW you tell me

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: I wouldn’t exactly know from experience, but I’ll bet it’s pretty hard to hide a penguin in your ass.

Holmes: well, sorry to burst your bubble, but remeber hearing about penny, the famous penguin that ran away from the circus? guess where he is…

MadManWithAnAxe: :-DHAHAHA

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: You’d think having sex with a mattress would be more satisfying than it actually is.

Holmes: water bed’s are oh so sexy!

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: It’s never a good idea to masturbate and ski at the same time.

Holmes: oh yeah…oh yeah i’m coming…i’m coming…i’m com- *splat* poor joe, took a whole box of viagra before he went skiing…and hit a tree…what a way to go…

MadManWithAnAxe: hah

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Just because you have the means to fit a midget into your ass, doesn’t make it right.

Holmes: well…penny needed a friend

MadManWithAnAxe: HEEHEEHE

MadManWithAnAxe: ;-)that was good

MadManWithAnAxe: you should be famous

Holmes: heh i doubt i could be

Holmes: damn i hate when people IM you when your typing a sentence

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Sex with a microwave isn’t very pleasurable.

Holmes: that’s because your only suppose to do anal

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: To be impaled on a toothbrush…that’s gotta be a crappy way to die.

Holmes: not as crappy as dieing in someone’s ass

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: All the drugs in the world cannot equal the fun of poking a hobo with a sharpened stick.

Holmes: poking a hobo who’s on all the drugs in the world at once with a sharp stick, now that’s FUNNY!

MadManWithAnAxe: hehe

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Injecting anti-freeze into your scrotum may make people think you’re cool, but what would your parents think?

Holmes: well, i perfer my penis NOT to shrivel up when it’s cold…people will think i’m on the “short” side

MadManWithAnAxe: heeeeeeeey, that’s actually not a bad idea

Holmes: yeah…now if only i could stop my nipples from getting hard…

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: If you’re eating a sandwich, and the sandwich starts mumbling at you in Latin, it’s probably best just to put it down and just walk away.

Holmes: but first kill it before it plans to take over the world…and steal it’s tomatos

 

#10521: stimpyismyname -> Holmes

stimpyismyname: could you do me a favor and find the sfx that plays when doug funni gets some from patty?

stimpyismyname: dudadudaleee waaaahhhhoooooweeeeeeeoooh

stimpyismyname: pleeeease

Holmes: what?

stimpyismyname: didnt you ever watch doug

stimpyismyname: on nickelodean

Holmes: yeah

stimpyismyname: you know when patty talks to doug that music plays

stimpyismyname: baaaooohwwahhhhoohh

stimpyismyname: ..do you know what im talking about?

Holmes: somehwta

Holmes: but thats gonna be a bitch to find

stimpyismyname: well you dont have to..

Holmes: can’t find it anywhere

stimpyismyname: o well

Holmes: what should i look for?

Holmes: doug funnie download music?

stimpyismyname: i dont know

stimpyismyname: i guess its not that important

stimpyismyname: heh

stimpyismyname: dougandpatty.wav

stimpyismyname: search for that

Holmes: why don’t you just watch doug and get a microphone out, then when he;s about to meet patty, turn your micrphone on and record it?

stimpyismyname: never!

Holmes: uh ok

Holmes: then tell dave to do it

stimpyismyname copied and pasted the whole IM to davepoobond while he was away, basically telling him to look for it.

 

#10508: davepoobond -> Holmes

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHINNGG

davepoobond: JUST TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHING

davepoobond: BUT SOMEHOW I JUST CANT PUT YOU IN THE PAST

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHING

davepoobond: JUST TO FALL ASLEEP WITH YOU

Holmes: um

davepoobond: OUUUU

davepoobond: dun nununu nu nununu!

 

#10453: davepoobond -> Holmes

davepoobond: hey boyeee

davepoobond: i saw Black Knight

Holmes: hey monster truck man

davepoobond: it was horrible

Holmes: was it good?

Holmes: figures

davepoobond: it wasn’t nearly as funny as it was supposed to be

davepoobond: it started out with martin lawrence being a jackass

davepoobond: and that was kinda funny

davepoobond: but then he goes through “this magical journey that ends up being a dream”

davepoobond: and everything changes for him

davepoobond: yadda yadda yadda

davepoobond: do good here do good there inside the dream

Holmes: thansk for telling me the story

Holmes: asshole

davepoobond: my pleasure

Holmes: j/k

Holmes: i wasn’t going to see it

davepoobond: well it has some funny stuff, but not too much to make you laugh out loud

davepoobond: kinda like a “heh”

Holmes: oh

davepoobond: its so stupid, this black guy talking about stuff now, and he knows he’s in the 14th century

Holmes: blue streak was pretty funny

davepoobond: yeah it was

davepoobond: but that was made to be funny. this was made to teach a lesson

Holmes: big momma’s house = eh

davepoobond: its like a family movie with cuss words in it basically

davepoobond: and a black guy

davepoobond: you dont see many family movies with black guys in it unless its an all black cast

Holmes: true

Holmes: life was funny…with eddie murphy and martin lawrence

davepoobond: everyone was white in the movie most of the time except, of course, the lady he tries to get it with

davepoobond: there just HAPPENED to be another black girl in england

Holmes: coincidence?

davepoobond: it took about a half an hour in the beginning for him to realize he was in the 14th century

Holmes: hahaha

davepoobond: such a waste of time

Holmes: but i know the number 1 movie i want to see

Holmes: Like Mike

Holmes: (major sarcasm)

davepoobond: oh man

davepoobond: i almost screamed everytime i saw previews for it

Holmes: oh man….

Holmes: and i thought i was the only one

davepoobond: and i think there was this one sentence that i always heard that i repeated

davepoobond: every single time

Holmes: “please let me be……..like mike”

davepoobond: i forgot what it was though…

davepoobond: yeah what the hell

davepoobond: stupid sneakers

davepoobond: they’ve been on a telephone wire for 20 years

davepoobond: God knows how it got up there in the first place

davepoobond: don’t you think itd be kinda nasty putting your foot into that thing

Holmes: it took about 20 hours for a kid in pakistan to finish making those sneakers for Nike

davepoobond: at least those kids are working

davepoobond: unlike the lazy children here

Holmes: yeah

davepoobond: all children should be put to work! just like before the progressives spoiled everything

Holmes: damn progressives

Holmes: !

davepoobond: yeah! making everything today become the standard of what we want everyday. damn them for making us so picky

Holmes: damn them for wanting our drinks: “shaken…..not stirred!”

Holmes: or our meat not rare or well done, but medium!

davepoobond: i dont think they did that…

davepoobond: what they did was actually guarantee that the meat was actually meat

davepoobond: etc. etc.

Holmes: well they should go to mcdonalds

Holmes: and guarrentee THATS meat

davepoobond: its meat, we just dont know what from

Holmes: because i don’t know if I’m eating a timberland boot or rat meat for the chicken nuggets

davepoobond: chicken nuggets are pretty nasty….but at least it isn’t made of soy

davepoobond: have you ever had soy chicken nuggets?

Holmes: yuck no!

davepoobond: i did

davepoobond: worse than anything you can imagine

davepoobond: un-be-lievable

Holmes: i think the worst thing i’ve ever eaten was encore frozen hamburgers

Holmes: it tasted like it was creating a colony of shit on your toungue

Holmes: and the taste would not come out no matter what!

davepoobond: heh

Holmes: I COULD DRINK LISTERINE AND IT WOULDN’T COME OFF!

Holmes: i ended up throwing up

Holmes: even the throw up tasted better then the burgers

Holmes: but you probablly didn’t want to hear that

davepoobond: it comes to wonder, how people even market that shit and pretend like they’re gonna make money

davepoobond: what do they think we are?

Holmes: idiotic fat americans who spend money on anything that sounds good

davepoobond: yeah, and they milk it for all that products worth until it stops making money, and then they move onto their next shitty product

davepoobond: like Diet Soda

Holmes: y – u – c – k

Holmes: Pepsi One

Holmes: Diet pepsi

Holmes: Diet caffeine free pepsi

Holmes: Diet coke

Holmes: Diet coke with lemon twist

davepoobond: diet 7 up

Holmes: diet sprite

davepoobond: diet cherry pepsi

davepoobond: diet cherry coke

davepoobond: diet cherry 7 up

Holmes: diet vanilla coke

Holmes: diet dew

Holmes: diet dr. pepper

davepoobond: this is a sad world we live in when there’s more than 4000 different sodas to chose from

Holmes: and the biggest problem in this world is choosing between the two rivals

Holmes: coke

Holmes: or

Holmes: pepsi

davepoobond: there’s also RC

davepoobond: but no one gives a shit about them

Holmes: RC….i haven’t had a cola from them in a long ass time

davepoobond: they don’t sell it anywhere but in the middle of the desert at a garage with a vending machine 20 years old

Holmes: ever try moxy?

davepoobond: the hell?

Holmes: moxy is the first original “soda”

davepoobond: i thought it was 7 up

Holmes: it’s uncarbonated and has almost no sugar

davepoobond: oh.

Holmes: wait

davepoobond: that’s not a soda

Holmes: it’s carbonated

Holmes: sorry

Holmes: forget i said that

davepoobond: k

davepoobond: y’mean club soda?

Holmes: no

Holmes: but my cousin drank some

Holmes: he said it hits your toungue like a 2000 pound bitter anvil

Holmes: gotta go

davepoobond: k bye

 

#10450: davepoobond -> Holmes

davepoobond: lol i got this file that was supposed to be metallica covering pearl jam – jeremy. but its just 3 guys being idiots and singing the whole thing with the actual song. but i like it!

Holmes: lol

davepoobond: but it was pretty good

davepoobond: you can barely hear the music though

Holmes: i downloaded a music video a while ago, i forgot who it was, but it ended up being a porn

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: was it a good porn?

Holmes: pissed me off

Holmes: no

davepoobond: what kind

Holmes: it was a guy jerkin off on a girls face

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: i mean you would think he would get a blowjob off of her but no, he decided to beat his shit

davepoobond: what was she doing just sitting there or somethin

davepoobond: kneeling down “yes ejaculate on me!”

Holmes: she didn’t say anything, she was on her knees with her eye’s closed waiting for it to rain cum

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: the guy was moaning…he sounded like an elephant

davepoobond: omg thats hilarious

Holmes: “ERRRRRRHHHM HAVEN’T USED THIS IN A WHILE”

davepoobond: did you watch the whole thing

Holmes: it was like 15 seconds

davepoobond: did he get off though

Holmes: yeah

Holmes: then it ended

davepoobond: was the girls expression like =-O

Holmes: no she had the same expression the whole time

Holmes: eyes closed

Holmes: head up

davepoobond: not smiling or anything?

Holmes: waiting for jiz shower

Holmes: even when it happened

Holmes: nope

davepoobond: wut a stupid porn

Holmes: i know

Holmes: deleted it right after i got it

davepoobond: did he have a small weinieee

Holmes: i didn’t measure

Holmes: nor did i care

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: but i think it was average

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: average

davepoobond: heh

Holmes: i’m not the cockexpert