Now for the top stories……David: Ok be quiet out there…
Audience still talking
David: I SAID SHUT YOUR TRAPS!
Audience shuts up
David: (ahem) 1. George W. Bush was caught cheating with Al Gore
Producer: Thats not true!
David: …2. George W Bush couldn’t tell a horses poop from Daveed’s brain…come to think of it, niether can I…
Daveed: You buttmunch, go screw a shrew!
Davis: No he’s my shrew, and you can’t have him!
Daveed and David look at Davis oddly
Davis (nervously): Uhh…nevermind…hehe…….
Shrew noises are coming from Davis’s room
David: …uh huh…anyways…also on our top news, a crazy man has been spotted running around this city naked screaming “Penis rhymes with Penis” while he waves a polish flag around and points a a big pimple on his left butt cheek…
Daveed: Hey that sounds like your wife david!
Daveed laughs while David slaps him, knocking him out
Davis: Now THATS a Bitch sla…
David slaps Davis, knocking him out right ontop of Daveed. David puts them both on the table and puts Davis’s hand in Daveeds pants and makes it look like he’s smiling.
Producer: Thats sick, someone get a censor out here?
Mr. Whatshisname: In Egypt, putting your hand down a guys pants means: “Lets eat dinner together”
Just then, Daveed wakes up and looks at Davis.
Daveed whispering to the knocked out Davis: Not now! Wait till AFTER the show! How many times do I have to tell you that!
Daveed gets up and sits in his seat, just then a naked guy screaming penis rhymes with penis, waving a polish flag and pointing to a pimple on his ass runs in the studio.
Naked Man: PENIS RHYMES WITH PENIS!
David: Someone get him outta here!
Naked Man: PEEEEEENNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS
Security guy Holmes tackles the naked man, popping the pimple on his butt
Naked Man: OW that hurt!
Holmes: get outta here! and take your polish flag with you
Naked Man: i just wanted to play, the pimple made me INSANE
the naked man jumps infront of the knocked out davis while he wakes up. Davis see’s the naked mans ass and screams.
Davis jumps back and sits in his seat, closing his eyes
Producer: I’ll never see again…
Mr. Whatshisname: I’m from Egypt
Producer: I ALREADY KNOW THAT
Mr. Whatshisname: he has a big ding dong…
Naked Man: sweeeddddish penis enlarger! SWEEDISH SWEEDISH!!!!!!!!!!!
Holmes kicks the naked man in the ass so hard that the slam bolts him through the roof.
Davis: that was cool!
Producer: get on with the show you guys before i fire your sorry butts
David: O.o big bad producer!
Davis: You suck
Daveed: I hate my life
Mr. Whathisname: I’m from egypt
Producer is about to explode with rage. Just then the naked man comes back through the studio roof and hits the ground with a thud.
Holmes: I thought i told you to BEAT IT!
Naked Man: in public?
At first holmes doesn’t understand but when the producer tells what “beat it in public” means, holmes face turns an angry red.
Holmes: YOU SICK LITTLE BIATCH YOU GET YOUR NAKED BALD ASS OUT OF MY STUDIO BEFORE I CHOP YOUR PENIS OFF AND SHOW YOU HOW IT RHYMES WITH ASS WHOOPIN!
The naked man jolts out crying.
David: Thats our news for today, see you…
Just then, jeeb bush (brother of George W) runs in.
Jeeb Bush: Has anyonre seen my brother? Last time I saw him he was taking his clothes off with a polish flag in his hand…
David, Daveed, Holmes, Davis, and the Producer walk over to Jeeb and beat him up.