malaky: And then I kill you.
Toby: *dies*
malaky: I didn’t kill you yet. Come back to life.
Toby: *cast Life level 3*
Toby: *revived*
malaky: now die.
Toby: *dies*
malaky: Very well, now that you are dead, come back to life and discuss 19th Century politics with me.
Toby: *cast Life level 3*
Toby: *revived*
malaky: The Whig Party: Why couldn’t they elect a president that would live?
Toby: It’s damn near impossible.
Toby: All of our presidents have been Masons.
Toby: Except Kennedy, who was killed for not being a Mason.
malaky: You bring a good point, but what did slavery have to do with it all?
Toby: Masons used to be all about slavery until they finally let African Americans become Masons. Then it was all over.
malaky: The downfall of humanity, you mean?
Toby: I’d say so.
malaky: Then let me ask this: Who made John Travolta a star?
Toby: I would imagine that was not an act of the Masons, but someone sold their soul for that one.
malaky: Wouldn’t that be two souls? The man came close to an Oscar.
Toby: Nah, Oscars are the work of Masons.
malaky: And the Billboard Music Awards?
Toby: Nah, that stuff’s just retarded.
malaky: Then why haven’t the Masons killed Osama Bin Laden yet?
Toby: they’re workin’ on that.
Toby: they gotta get the European Masons more involved.
malaky: Damn them to hell.
malaky: Damn them…….to hell.
Toby: Oh, they’re waiting.
Toby: They’ve got a meeting in hell in 2015
malaky: Really? Hell? I thought they closed down that convention hall after the Nazis tried reforming again.
Toby: Nah, they reformed it.
malaky: Oh. Bummer.
malaky: You a member?
Toby: If I were, I wouldn’t be able to tell you I was unless you were one.
malaky: I see your point.
malaky: Toby, is Tina Fey hot?
Toby: Hello Fellow Mason.
Toby: *does the handshake*
Toby: *whew* I was wondering when you’d say the password.
malaky: I take my time.
Toby: That’s good. So how’s the business?
malaky: corrupt.
Toby: just what we like to hear!
malaky: I’m being prosecuted, so I’m fleeing jurisdiction.
Toby: Where to?
malaky: Now if I told you, wouldn’t that be breaking one of the cardinal rules?
Toby: nope, unless you were going somewhere other than the designated Mason refugee camps.
malaky: Oh. In that case, I am going to one of the designated refugee camps.
malaky: And if people ask, my name is Father Hernotwith and I have been holy my entire life.
Toby: We wouldn’t have it any other way.
malaky: I’ve also considered hiding in a dishwasher.
Toby: Ooh, primo choice. What kind of soap will you be using?
malaky: I haven’t decided yet.
Toby: May I suggest Pine?
malaky: You may.
malaky: But I’m still selling my child for food money.
Toby: those food stamps are worth a lot.
malaky: Is 50 a good price?
Toby: Per stamp, yes.
Toby: I’d shoot for 55, though.
Toby: Just say “you’re breakin my balls here.”
malaky: For good measure, I’d actually break their balls in return right?
Toby: Oh ya, but it was supposed to be a threat.
malaky: In that case, I’m sleeping with your mother’s favorite goat.
malaky: And we’re expecting.
Toby: Shultzy doesn’t understand Masonry.
malaky: You can’t deny my love for the goat forever you know.
malaky: sometimes, when I’m asleep at night, I dream of a new basement. Is this abnormal?
Toby: Not in the least.
malaky: And it has three TVs. What does this symbolize.
Toby: you like TV?
malaky: Actually, I like the refrigerator more.
malaky: Dude, food just appears in that thing.
Toby: Food is SOOOO good!
malaky: One time, I ate so much food that I ate more.
malaky: I’d just like to say that Harry Potter is a hermaphrodite.
Toby: He told me personally.
malaky: Good news should be spread.
Toby: I’ll kill that fucker.
malaky: If you do, pick up Dave Matthews on the way.
malaky: And we’ll hold hands, sit in a circle, and declare how manly we are.
Toby: i hate that fucker.
malaky: I think I love citrus. Is there something wrong with me?
Toby: Citrus is a flavor for all.