Holmes: Hey hows life? whats happenin? hows it hanging? whats new? whats up? let me in on the news…
SuperKim: do i know u?
Holmes: i dunno, do you know me?
SuperKim: well who are u? how did u get my s/n
Holmes: I’m a spy from the organization of the Texas can-can dancers
SuperKim: funny
Holmes: we have reason to believe your selling illegal q-tips
SuperKim: kiss my a$$
Holmes: we are asking you to stop before innocent ears get hurt…
SuperKim: fukk u
Holmes: that hurts 🙁
Holmes: I thought you were related to SuperMan in some way but superman has better MANNERS
SuperKim: how do u know did u meet superman???
Holmes: yes, I made him dinner…a kryptonite sandwich with cheese
Holmes: he liked it so much, he fell over like he was havin a seizure
Holmes: have you ever met spiderman?
Holmes: it’s a yes or no question…
SuperKim: fukk u
SuperKim: i dont wanna tlak to you what are u 2
Holmes: where i come from, we speak proper english…
SuperKim: i dont give a shit
Holmes: speakin of givin shit, santa gave me shit for christmas, what did he give you?
Holmes: …i’ll take that as that he gave you nothing
—
2 seconds later, and, gee, I wonder how I knew it was the same person only a diffrent screen name?
—
Smj: hi
Holmes: hello
Smj: wutz up
Holmes: o you know…
Smj: ….?
Holmes: come on you know whats up…
Smj: umm
Holmes: yeah you know….come on…you know…
Smj: ew?
Smj: how old r u?
Holmes: 99 years old and growing
Smj: loFl
Smj: no really
Smj: how old r u???
Holmes: you first
Smj: 17u?
Holmes: i forgot..
Smj: just tell me
Holmes: what if your some stalker
Smj: NOPE IM NOT
Smj: WHO R U ANYWAYZ?
Smj: HOW DID YOU GET SUPERKIM’Z SN?
Holmes: my mommy said I should never ever give out: my age or name or that she beats me on the internet
Smj: umm ok
Smj: your gay
Holmes: I know magical powers
Smj: bye
Holmes: wait
Holmes: i’ll tell you
Smj: wut?
Smj: fine then tell me
Smj: right now!
Smj: hurry hurry!
Holmes: it’s a magic power called: “People Directory”
Smj: o
Smj: well how old ru?
Holmes: it works in mysterious ways….
Holmes: 16
Smj: o wel im not really 17…
Holmes: OOOOOOOOOO YOUR A LIAR JUST LIKE AL GORE
Smj: loFl
Smj: im 34
Smj: jk jk
Holmes: jk? is that some new slang term
Smj: your gay dude
Smj: bye
Holmes: 🙁
Holmes: i’ll never sleep again 🙁
Smj: o wut a shame 🙁
Smj: i dont care
Holmes: you got a big poop-colored heart
Smj: ok
Smj: fine then ill talk to u….
Smj: umm…..
Smj: where r u from?
Holmes: …uh…Connectituctst or however it’s spelled
Smj: u dont even know how to spell where your from?
Smj: damn you must be rrreally stupid
Smj: you mean connecticut?
Holmes: yeah thats it it had somethin with connect in it
Holmes: don’t make fun of stupid people, it only makes them stupider…my dad taught me that
Smj: your corny
Holmes: i like corn…
Smj: or korn?
Holmes: hmm yeah
Holmes: where I come from it’s spelled with a C not a K
Smj: i meant the band you schmuck
Holmes: OH the band, yeah korn is cool
Holmes: whats a schitmuck?
Smj: i didnt say shitmuck
Smj: shmuck
Smj: sound it out now
Holmes: shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh muccccccckkkk
Smj: good job
Holmes: do I get a A +?
Smj: nah
Holmes: awwww
Smj: r u really 16?
Holmes: yup
Smj: sure bout that?
Holmes: uh hold on, let me check my birthday cards…
Smj: ok do you have a pic?
Holmes: yeah it says: Congrats, your 16
Holmes: nope scanner = busted
Smj: ooo
Holmes: i just have the mentallity of a 6 year old, kind of like that movie Jack with Robin Williams
Smj: ha
Holmes: only i have more sexy looks then he does
Smj: suuure
Holmes: fine don’t believe the sexy man
Smj: fine iwont
Holmes: fine
Smj: wut were you sayin to superkim?
Smj: fine
Holmes: uh some stupid stuff
Smj: llike wut?
Holmes: like i’m suppose to remeber?
Smj: uh huh
Smj: and it’z “supposed to” not suppose
Holmes: sorry i didn’t know it was english class
Smj: thatz ok
Holmes: so, miss teacher can I go to the bathroom? I gotta tinkie..
Smj: nah kid
Smj: sorry
Holmes: i’m about to tinkie on the floor if i don’t go
Smj: o well
Smj: not my floor
Holmes: well I gotsta poop too, so there better be room on the floor
Smj: ew you nasty
Smj: shut up about the fucken shit and piss thing ok>???
Holmes: you brought it up
Smj: no u did
Holmes: no
Smj: yes
Holmes: no
Smj: anywayz…
Holmes: anywayz no
Smj: wut kind of music do you like?
Smj: fine then bye