Computer: Hey Everybody It’s time for Pussy the Wussy
Pussyteers: Pussy the Wussy wusses out here, Pussy the Wussy wusses out there, Pussy the Wussy wusses out EVERYWHERE!!!!
Pussy the Wussy: Thank you pussyteers you do a purrrrrfectly fine job singing the Pussy the Wussy song. Give a round of applause!!!
Crowd: Those guys SUCK!!
Pussyteer leader: Well gee, you guys are just a big fat tub of lard that and that and Godzilla couldn’t move!!!!!
Crowd: SO!!!! We get free shows don. t we?? Anyway this show isn’t worth shit!! No wonder I. m the only one here!!! I. m REALLY hurt by that “diss.”
(Crowd rolls his eyes)
Pussy the Wussy: What is your name ma’am?
Crowd: That’s SIR to you!!!
Pussy the Wussy: Yes ma’am!! Get the people to write SIR for the name of this dear old lady.
SIR: I’m a man!!!!!
Pussy the Wussy: A. MAN? I thought it was SIR!?! Is it A. SIR MAN?
A. SIR MAN: NO you little piece of shit!!!
Pussy the Wussy: My name is not You Little Piece of Shit, it. s Pussy the Wussy!!
A. SIR MAN: Urrgh!!
Pussy the Wussy: Is that a part of your name A. SIR MAN?
A. SIR MAN: NO!!!
Pussy the Wussy: Are you sure?
A. SIR MAN: YES!!!
Pussy the Wussy: Well, which is it? Yes or no?
A. SIR MAN: I’M NOT TAKING THIS ANYMORE!!!!
(A. SIR MAN tries to move but can’t)
A. SIR MAN: DAMMIT!!! …..well what is this show about anyway??
Pussy the Wussy: Um….I show tapes of places I wuss out. And I do some crazy stuff also, that are really funny!
A. SIR MAN (mumbling): I’m sure…
Pussy the Wussy: I’ll show you one right now!
(scene switches to a title)
Title: Pussy the Wussy Wusses Out
(Pussy the Wussy is walking along the sidewalk and a homeless person comes up to him)
Homeless Person: A penny for my thoughts?
Pussy the Wussy: You haven’t been homeless for that long, a homeless person is too hungry to be funny. And you scare me.
(Pussy the Wussy starts to back away and the Homeless Person still walks toward him)
Homeless Person: Please, I’m hungry and thirsty
Pussy the Wussy: NO, GET AWAY!!!! AARRRGHH!!!!
(Pussy the Wussy runs away)
(end of clip)
(scene switches to Pussy the Wussy sitting at his desk)
Pussy the Wussy: How did you like that?
A. SIR MAN: THAT WAS STUPID!!!!
Pussy the Wussy: Stoopid? Or Stupid?
A. SIR MAN: IT WAS DUMB AS SHIT!!!
Pussy the Wussy: I’m glad you liked it
A. SIR MAN: I DIDN’T!!!!
Pussy the Wussy: NEXT CLIP!!!
A. SIR MAN: PLEASE, NO!!!
(scene switches to title)
Title: Pussy the Wussy Wusses Out Again
(Pussy the Wussy is walking along a sidewalk in New York)
Pussy the Wussy: So, this is New York?
(a weird lady walks up to him and opens her coat so Pussy the Wussy can see her)
Weird Lady: Hey, wanna have a party?
Pussy the Wussy: AAHH!!! YOU SCARE ME!!!
Weird Lady: What is it? Are you a virgin? Are my boobs too big? What?
Pussy the Wussy: Get away from me!!! YOU SCARE ME!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!!
(Pussy the Wussy runs away)
(end of clip)
(scene switches back to Pussy the Wussy sitting at his desk)
Pussy the Wussy: THAT was GOOD!!!
A. SIR MAN: THAT MADE NO SENSE WHATSOEVER!!!! HOW COULD YOU SAY IT WAS GOOD?
Pussy the Wussy: Because…compared to this…its nothing!
(Pussy the Wussy points at the camera)
Pussy the Wussy: NEXT CLIP!
A. SIR MAN: AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
(scene switches to title)
Title: Pussy the Wussy Tries to Take a Crap
(Pussy the Wussy is walking into a Carl’s Jr.)
(Pussy the Wussy tries the door on the bathroom, its locked)
Pussy the Wussy: Hmm…that’s odd, it won’t open.
(Pussy the Wussy looks at the handle)
Pussy the Wussy: Oh! That’s why! Somebody is in here! It says OCCUPIED.
(Pussy the Wussy goes over and buys a burger and fries and sits down at a table)
Pussy the Wussy: This stuff is pretty good…
(Pussy the Wussy finishes his food and goes over to the bathroom)
(its still locked)
Pussy the Wussy (looking at his watch): Hmm…this person has been going to the bathroom for about 20 minutes!
(the door opens and a woman comes out of the bathroom, she has toilet paper trailing on her foot)
Pussy the Wussy: Excuse me ma’am…this is a bathroom for men…
Lady: And that doesn’t include She-Males?
(Pussy the Wussy gets wide-eyed and starts to get nervous)
Pussy the Wussy: did you say…she…she-male?
She-Male: Yes, I am a she-male
Pussy the Wussy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME! YOU SCARE ME!!
(Pussy the Wussy runs away from the she-male)
(end of clip)
Pussy the Wussy (laughing): WASN’T THAT FUNNY?????
A. SIR MAN: …no
Pussy the Wussy: Why not?
A. SIR MAN: cause
Pussy the Wussy: cause what?
A. SIR MAN: BECAUSE, YOU’RE AN IDIOT! YOU RUN AWAY FROM ANYTHING! YOU RAN AWAY FROM A BLOW JOB!
Pussy the Wussy: A blow what??? Excuse me sir, that is NOT funny! You may not say things like that on this show!
A. SIR MAN: OH YEAH? SHIT, SHIT, FUCK MY ASS! BITCH!
Pussy the Wussy: I’m pretending I didn’t hear that!
A. SIR MAN: GOOD!
Pussy the Wussy: Ok, I have nothing else to show you guys for today.
(Pussy the Wussy gets up and leaves)
A. SIR MAN: no, don’t leave me! You can’t leave me here alone!
(end)