PSA Guy: hello, I’m the Public Service Announcement Guy, and I’m here, getting payed, to tell you that you should keep your litter and trash inside trash cans. Here to tell you step by step is Gwyneth Paltrow and Smokems the Ravenous Bear

Gwyneth Paltrow: hello, I’m Gwyneth Paltrow

(the camera goes to Smokems, and he has a joint)

(somewhere off screen): OH MY GOD! HOW’D HE GET A JOIN!? RUN!!

(camera goes back to Gwyneth)

Gwyneth: and I’m here to tell you –

(Smokems flies out of nowhere, tackling Gwyneth, and ripping her to shreds)

(the camera gets knocked over)

(technical difficulties)

(end)