All posts by The Typical Aussie Bloke

Postman Pat

Parody of “Breakdown” by Jack Johnson.

————————-

Anyways here’s the parody:

I hope my post van breaks down
Then I could take a vacation
And, go down to Bognor beach
And relax in the hot sun
(Postman Pat theme song playing)
But all the people in the town
Are waiting for their letters and parcels
I just drive through town
Deliver letters and parcels
From the back of my red van
The work load is getting too much now
So for now I

I wish this
Post van will breakdown
Oh please just
Let my van breakdown

Well I work twelve hour shifts
I get really bloody tired
So I wish this post van breaks down
Because it’s gonna get me a ticket out town
(Postman Pat theme song playing)
But all the people in the town
Want their letters and parcels now
If I don’t get them all out
I will get the sack
And without a pay check
Will be broke as a bum
So I

I wish this
Post van will breakdown
Oh please just
Let my van breakdown

I wish this
Post van will breakdown
Oh please just
Let my van breakdown

I want a vacation
But gotta work now
Please van break on down

(Postman Pat theme song playing)
But I am postman Pat
With my black’n’white cat
Must be a happy man
But have a frowny face
I’m sick of my job
Working twelve hour shifts
All day every day
Need to get away
I can’t stop wishing
To be in Bognor
On the beach in the sun
And the chicks, and the sea
I keep on working
Put that thought on hold
But thought’s too strong
And it’s driving me mad

I wish this
Post van will breakdown
Oh please just
Let my van breakdown
I wish this
Post van will breakdown
Oh please just
Let my van breakdown
I want a vacation
But have to work now

Billy Gunn Mr Ass Theme Parody

Parody of WWE’s Billy Gunn “Mr. Ass” theme.

————————

Gunn’s an ass man
Yeah Bill’s an ass man…

Yeahhhhhhh

He loves to love ‘em, he loves to lick ‘em
He loves to squeeze ‘em, he loves to fuck ‘em
Loves to smack ‘em, he loves to feel ‘em
He loves to pinch ‘em, and he’s gonna fuck ‘em

Cause Gunn’s an assman, yeah, Bill’s an assman
Yes, he’s an assman, ohh oh oh
He’s an assman

So many asses, so little time
A big hairy one, can stop him on the dime
He’s a lover, of the gayest kind
The best surprises always fuck him from behind

Gunn’s an assman, yeahhhhhhhh, Bill’s an assman
Yes, he’s an assman, ohh oh oh
He’s an assman

Buns of muscle, buns of hair
Your browneye gives away the truth of how Bill feels
Gunn walks behind you, you feel the pain
That’s why the guys don’t let Billy walk behind them

Gunn’s an assman, yeahhhhhhhh, Bill’s an assman
Yes, he’s an assman, ohh oh oh

He loves to love ‘em, he loves to lick ‘em
He loves to squeeze ‘em, he loves to fuck ‘em
(*ECHO* HE *ECHO*) Loves to smack ‘em, he loves to feel ‘em
He loves to pinch ‘em, and he’s gonna fuck ‘em

Gunn’s an assman, yeahhhhhhhh, Bill’s an assman
Yes, he’s an assman, ohh oh oh
Cause he’s an assman
Yeahhhhhhhh, Bill’s an ass ,am
Yes, Gunn’s an assman, yeahhhhhhhh
He’s an assman, ohh oh oh
He’s an assman
Yes, he’s an assman
Cause he’s an assman
Yeahhhhhhhh, Billy Gunn’s an assman

*Music Fades*

Pot Pot Pot

Parody of “Hot Hot Hot” by Arrow

———————

All day, all day, all day, all day
All day, all day, all day, all day
Smoking pot, pot, pot
Smoking pot, pot, pot
Smoking pot, pot, pot
Smoking pot, pot, pot

Me lightin’ my fire
Me get-a higher
Smoking pot, pot, pot

Hippy people
Stoned around me
Smoking pot, pot, pot

What to do on a day like this?
Pot is sweet, I can’t resist
I need an Orchy bong
With grass and rubber hose

So let me bong-bong-bong-bong
Let me bong-bong-bong-bong
All day, all day, all day, all day
All day, all day, all day, all day

Let me bong-bong-bong-bong
Let me bong-bong-bong-bong
Smoking pot, pot, pot
Smoking pot, pot, pot

Halluuuuuucinating
Whiiiiiiiiile inhaling
Smoking pot, pot, pot

See a spirit
Whiiiiiile you smoke it
Smoking pot, pot, pot

Smoke in the air, hallucination time
Let the smoke dominate your mind
I have this Orchy bong
With grass and rubber hose

So let me bong-bong-bong-bong
Let me bong-bong-bong-bong
All day, all day, all day, all day
All day, all day, all day, all day

Let me bong-bong-bong-bong
Let me bong-bong-bong-bong
Smoking pot, pot, pot
Smoking pot, pot, pot

He Likes To Wank It

Parody of “I Like to Move It Move It”

—————————

He likes to wank it wank it
He likes to wank it wank it
He likes to wank it wank it
He likes to (wank it)

He likes to stroke it stroke it
He likes to stroke it stroke it
He likes to stroke it stroke it
He likes to (stroke it)

He likes to spank it spank it
He likes to spank it spank it
He likes to spank it spank it
He likes to (spank it)

He likes to tug it tug it
He likes to tug it tug it
He likes to tug it tug it
He likes to (tug it)

He likes to yank it yank it
He likes to yank it yank it
He likes to yank it yank it
He likes to (yank it)

He likes to whack it whack it
He likes to whack it whack it
He likes to whack it whack it
He likes to (whack it)

He likes to squeeze it squeeze it
He likes to squeeze it squeeze it
He likes to squeeze it squeeze it
He likes to (squeeze it)

He likes to pull it pull it
He likes to pull it pull it
He likes to pull it pull it
He likes to (pull it)

He likes to bat it bat it
He likes to bat it bat it
He likes to bat it bat it
He likes to (bat it)

He likes to play it play it
He likes to play it play it
He likes to play it play it
He likes to (play it)

He likes to belt it belt it
He likes to belt it belt it
He likes to belt it belt it
He likes to (belt it)

He likes to slap it slap
He likes to slap it slap
He likes to slap it slap
He likes to (slap it)

Popeye Song #7282

I’m Buck the hillbilly man

(hiyolk)

I have buck teeth and dress in flee-bitten old clothes

(hiyolk)

I live on moonshine and a packet of pork rinds

I’m Buck the hillbilly man

 

I’m Buck the hillbilly man

(hiyolk)

My home is a shack in old hick town

(hiyolk)

I’m armed with a shotgun to buckshot trespassers keisters

I’m Buck the hillbilly man

Popeye Song #7279

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

(Oi! Oi!)

I wear a pair of thongs

(Oi! Oi!)

Stubby shorts and shearer’s singlet

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

 

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

(Oi! Oi!)

I drive a Kingswood ute

(Oi! Oi!)

Down to the pub to get pissed with me mates

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

 

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

(Oi! Oi!)

I live in old rusty tin roof farm house

(Oi! Oi!)

I watch footy on TV while drinkin a slab of VB

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

 

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

(Oi! Oi!)

I have a beer gut

(Oi! Oi!)

Because I live on beer and meat pies and am a lazy bloke

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

 

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

(Oi! Oi!)

I like to hang out at the cricket

(Oi! Oi!)

To boo the opposite team and launch beer cans at them

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

 

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

(Oi! Oi!)

I own a cattle dog

(Oi! Oi!)

He’s name is Bluey and he barks 24/7

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

 

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

(Oi! Oi!)

I own a dunny can

(Oi! Oi!)

It stinks of shit and piss because I never clean it out

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

 

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

(Oi! Oi!)

I worship footy and cricket

(Oi! Oi!)

Because Shane Warn is god and Plugger is the devil

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

 

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

(Oi! Oi!)

I’m Robbo the yobbo man

(Oi! Oi!)

I’m a fat lazy ocker that doesn’t give a shit

I’m Robbo the YOBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOO MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!

(Oi! Oi!)

(Aussie Aussie Aussie!!! Oi Oi Oi!!!)