Have you ever been in a trash can? I haven’t, but I’ll tell you why trash cans may be the portal to another world. It may not be an instantaneous portal, but it’s a portal nonetheless.

Pretend you’re a Hostess Cup Cake Tray. Oh boy did the person that ate those cupcakes like those cupcakes. “mmmhmm” he even said, as he crumpled you up and stepped on you, that torturous bastard!

But you live anyway, as you’re tossed into the trash can. You try to heal your wounds, but it takes a while. That’s when a Janitor Monster comes. He’s so big and smelly its not even funny. He ties up the bag you’ve made a home in, and met your friends Banana Peel and Clothes Tag.

Everything is dark now. You’re moving around…going up…oh no! You’re falling! Aaaahhh!!! And finally you’re at the landfill. Nothing happens until night, when…The Aliens COME!!! AAAH!! They take the trash and make new aliens out of you so that one day, the Earth’s trash will kill them! Ironic ain’t it? The aliens give you a lot of sexual pleasure too. Its good to be trash!