(Verse 1: Tune of The Old Gray Mare)

Barney’s made of greasy, grimy, gopher guts
Greasy, grimy gopher guts
Greasy, grimy gopher guts
Barney’s made of greasy, grimy, gopher guts
And his friends do stink!
P-U!

(Verse 2: Tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic)

Barney is an awful singer
His voice is painful like a stinger
He must go on Jerry Springer
And there he’ll be disgraced!
JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY..