“Raughauhreauwah!” roared Godzilla.

“We have to stop him now!” said Bob the General guy as he smacked his fist into his hand.

“Hey!” said Bill the scientist, “I need to study it further. His single eyelash could hold the cure for cancer!”

“You stupid scientist, reptiles don’t have eyelashes!”

“How do you know?”

“Hack…..tooey!” spat the general as he spat in Bill’s face and pushed him out of the car.

“Now for my real mission,” growled Bob, “To build a flux capacitor to transform my Delorian into a time machine.”

Bob knew just what to do with a time machine.

“Hmm, yes,” said Bob, “You just wait…”

It took Bob three years and 237 viewings of “Back to the Future,” but he built his time machine. Meanwhile Godzilla had been destroyed by Bill. Bill then had quintuplets with Martha Stewart and now lived in a lovely six bedroom house in Sweden with a big backyard…but that’s another story.

Bob went forward in time to 2047 to visit John Connor, who never existed when Bob got there, but really did…I’ll get into that later.

“Hi,” said Bob

“Who are you?” said John

“Hey that’s a nice Terminator.”

“Yes. I reprogrammed it to protect me when I was a child.”

“Hey that’s great. I bet you can’t make it get in my car.”

“Like hell I can’t!”

Bob went back to 2002 with his Terminator, but the Terminator ran away looking for John Connor, whom had been killed only years earlier.

“Crap!” shouted Bob, “I sure suck at being a general! I don’t even have an army!”

Just then an artillery shell blew up next to him. He was blown into a bunch of pieces that all landed in trees.

Bill died 20 years later of an infection in his toenail.

The crappy end