I found this.
My first time on an Apple computer! Today was sort of a lame day at work. Things are pretty much slow right now, almost no calls in the queue, so I decided to think differently and start learning Apple. I installed AOL on this old PowerPC crap box at work when XLGPx02134 decides to chime in. I lost the first few lines unfortunately, because I SUCK at Apple. Somehow I killed the IM, have NO idea what I clicked. The whole operating system makes NO sense whatsoever. Why only one button on the mouse? WTF is “Appletalk?” I’ve been managing networks now for about 5 years, and think the “Chooser” and Appletalk Zones are the most inefficient method of network organization. WOW! OSX has SMB!!! HOLY COW!!
Shit, sorry, I digress. He’s the shithead’s IM.
John170: I’m working right now, but I do enjoy being your focus
XLGPx02134: Say when.
John170: Now what?
XLGPx02134: You wanna kick my a$$, then do it.
John170: I said KISS. I’m into that today.
John170: Is it clean shaven?
XLGPx02134: You are immature .
XLGPx02134: P.S. She called you that first.
John170: I feel so offended 🙂
XLGPx02134: Offer to go visit her at work.
XLGPx02134: You talk pretending to be me again and i WILL find you.
John170: I put your quote in my profile, I liked it
XLGPx02134: That’s expected.
XLGPx02134: You are either a girl or 18
John170: Oh you did NOT expect that
John170: Come on you sillyhead
XLGPx02134: Fess it up. WHICH chick are you?
John170: I’m yours!
XLGPx02134: Another one who says they are at work but sit here round the tick tock.
XLGPx02134: Live off your girlfriend?
XLGPx02134: Wait. She’s not employed either.
XLGPx02134: Med Leave this month.
John170: No, honest, I’m at work.
John170: I got a phone, a pen, a stapler, and a few puters here.
XLGPx02134: Offer to bring her lunch at work. They never heard of her.
XLGPx02134: Copy boy?
XLGPx02134: You are a PUP, bro.
John170: as in a little doggy?
XLGPx02134: You not embarrassed to talk with all that #$%^ website?
XLGPx02134: Desperado poster child
John170: Not at all, I’m happy with my dysfunctional personality.
XLGPx02134: Shell says this will go on your page. Im flattered dude. Im going to real work now.
XLGPx02134: anything needs to be said, say it to ME tough boy.
John170: I’m still wondering who Shell is. She must be someone very special.
XLGPx02134: I’ll find out which one you are.
XLGPx02134: Thought Linda, but I admit an error
XLGPx02134: Man here.
John170: It takes a man to admit his errors. Bravo!
XLGPx02134: I think your Mommy put Oreos in your lunchbox.
John170: Can we talk again? I like you.
XLGPx02134: Count on it.
XLGPx02134: You are infamous bro.
XLGPx02134: I bet you have a nice figure too like all the fat chicks.
John170: My coworkers are laughing at this. Can I print it out to show others?
XLGPx02134: Good luck finding a nice ‘woman’ here.
XLGPx02134: Coworkers? Nintendo buddies?
XLGPx02134: Seniors out of school already?
John170: They still make Nintendo?? I had one in college. Wow
John170: I had an Atari too
XLGPx02134: Your buddies need to come in and feel manly by harrassing women, too?
John170: The ones online or the ones in jail. Please specify.
XLGPx02134: I use the term ‘manly’ in i’s lightest form..
XLGPx02134: Jail wouldn’t surprise me.
John170: I’m sure you’re well adept at determining masculinity 🙂
XLGPx02134: Let’s meet and see what you say to face.
XLGPx02134: I don’t throw punches unless I need to.
John170: You’re gonna AOLbeatme?
XLGPx02134: Don’t be afraid, my MAN.
XLGPx02134: The more you say, the more you sound like a chick.
XLGPx02134: I bet you sit on a pillow at work.
John170: It’s a comfy chair. Gotta keep my bum bum soft.
XLGPx02134: Keep playing me. Im feeding off of this.
John170: Same here!
John170: As stated earlier, I like you
XLGPx02134: You are ‘immature, but fun’. She was honest there.
XLGPx02134: I know you are a chick.
John170: But thank GOD she has you now.
XLGPx02134: I will say 98% sure.
XLGPx02134: She had me, bro.
John170: How come you call me a chick, and then call me bro shortly after? Just curious.
XLGPx02134: A few of us.
XLGPx02134: Which do you prefer?
John170: Non gender specific. Call me “it”
XLGPx02134: If you are a MAN, I got some advice for you.
John170: I’m ready!
XLGPx02134: I’m man enough to help out the peons here.
XLGPx02134: When you fall for that AOL chick, or possibly ‘man’ in your capacity, hold tight.
XLGPx02134: You’ll need all the help you can get.
John170: And that’s your job, to help!
XLGPx02134: I have a heart for less fortunate
John170: Do you give to charity?
XLGPx02134: Is that your real name?
XLGPx02134: Maybe its Donna.
John170: Could be Sam too.
John170: Or … Pat
XLGPx02134: Go clean your locker.
John170: Can I leave my Erik Estrada pictures in it?
XLGPx02134: Now your making sense.
XLGPx02134: I will let you get back to your nails and hair now.
John170: Sorry, busy for a sec. Anything else?
XLGPx02134: Oh yeh. Working.
XLGPx02134: Checks come in this time of the month. Opening an envelope isnt work.
XLGPx02134: Ciao, MANfriend.
John170: Can we talk later??? Please?
John170: I got to get lunch in a bit.
XLGPx02134: Bitter b$tch.
John170: Better or bitter? Pardon?
XLGPx02134: Your maturity shows me that you need the last word.
John170: What time do you have to work today? Can I schedule our next chat?
XLGPx02134: I go in at 3.
John170: A fine profession
XLGPx02134: Keep dreaming and maybe you will be one someday.
John170: I practice cleaning my own urine and feces off the toilet every day.
XLGPx02134: My phone is ringing. You might want to stick around.
John170: Ok, I may be one when you get off of work. Hopefully we can chat then. If not, I’ll sign on again during the day. That ok?
XLGPx02134: Like I said. Time and place.
XLGPx02134: SAy it all to my face
XLGPx02134: We go from there.
John170: Ok. I’ll start practicing my man-kissing then. I cannot wait! You dress like the indian, I’ll be construction guy. Take care 🙂
XLGPx02134: Grow up kid. Or stand by the chicks.
John170: last word byeeeee 🙂 Lunch time