#10569: davepoobond -> POWder DJ

davepoobond: pow


POWder DJ: yes? how can i help you

davepoobond: by dying

POWder DJ: oh please dont, i just died like 32 times this weekend

davepoobond: aw thats so sad

POWder DJ: at lease gimme a breeeeaakkk

davepoobond: ok one coffee break then

POWder DJ: yay

POWder DJ: depesche mode is god

davepoobond: yes they are

POWder DJ: whats up with you

davepoobond: nothin. u

POWder DJ: i just died like 32 times this weekend

POWder DJ: like i said

davepoobond: oh yeah….

POWder DJ: i was sick as fucking hell

POWder DJ: but

davepoobond: that’s pretty sad on a 4 day weekend

POWder DJ: one hour photo came out today

POWder DJ: and so did rules of attraction

POWder DJ: and um buying them

davepoobond: rules of attraction? was that any good

POWder DJ: um

POWder DJ: its my favorite movie ever

davepoobond: is that the one with nicolas cage or vanderbeek

POWder DJ: besides requiem for a dream

POWder DJ: vanderbeek

POWder DJ: not cage

davepoobond: they’re both so alike

davepoobond: stupid writers getting ideas off of each other

davepoobond: make up your own shit! that’s what i always say

davepoobond: well not really

POWder DJ: i make up my own shit

davepoobond: i usually flush mine though…

davepoobond: har har

POWder DJ: this is elmoisfurry right if im not mistaken

davepoobond: no..

POWder DJ: hm

POWder DJ: then youre one of his frienes

davepoobond: who is this

davepoobond: anyway

POWder DJ: Fajita Bum gave me this sn like 5 years ago

davepoobond: uhh….

davepoobond: didnt know that…

POWder DJ: you imd me so you tell me who you are

POWder DJ: haha

davepoobond: dave…

POWder DJ: a?

davepoobond: you were just on my buddy list

POWder DJ: that was my SECOND choice

POWder DJ: haha

davepoobond: i dont know how you got there anyway

POWder DJ: elmoisfurry ims me sometimes

POWder DJ: so i thought it might be him

POWder DJ: and hes friends with Fajita Bum

POWder DJ: so it kinda loopholes

POWder DJ: this is carl

davepoobond: i’m friends with Fajita Bum too

POWder DJ: i know

POWder DJ: so am i

davepoobond: oh ha…yeah

POWder DJ: you should see rules

POWder DJ: its really good

davepoobond: i’ll try to catch it on hbo or somethin

POWder DJ: have you seen requiem for a dream

POWder DJ: ah youre lame

davepoobond: no

POWder DJ: rent ti

davepoobond: but that costs money

POWder DJ: ah youre double-o lame-o

davepoobond: yeah well

davepoobond: i’m not exactly that exciting anyway

POWder DJ: rent em both

POWder DJ: its liek 6 buuuuucl

POWder DJ: buckkkkks

POWder DJ: u still get money off squackle?

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: 17 bucks so far

POWder DJ: there yah go

POWder DJ: hahahhaha

POWder DJ: well

POWder DJ: use some ofthat

POWder DJ: !

davepoobond: no, that’s just the money i like looking at

davepoobond: y’know, gotta have some of that

POWder DJ: ooh yes

POWder DJ: thats wonderful

POWder DJ: stuff there

davepoobond: i saw jay and silent bob yesterday wow

POWder DJ: ehh

POWder DJ: the first 4

davepoobond: strike back

POWder DJ: in the series were so much better

davepoobond: only that one.

davepoobond: i haven’t seen anything else with them though

POWder DJ: wow dude

davepoobond: eh what can i say? too much Joe Millionaire………..

POWder DJ: you need to invest your 17 dollars… and rent those and requiem
and rules


POWder DJ: the only tv i ever watch

davepoobond: yeah it was pretty lame yesterday

POWder DJ: is comedy central

POWder DJ: and then

POWder DJ: the last episode

POWder DJ: of joe millionare

davepoobond: they were talkin about a stupid twist

davepoobond: there wasn’t any fuckin twist

davepoobond: they just gave them a million

POWder DJ: i know

POWder DJ: that would have been bad ass if

POWder DJ: brb

davepoobond: they made such a big deal out of it

davepoobond: k

POWder DJ: yeah

POWder DJ: back

POWder DJ: no if

davepoobond: k

POWder DJ: after she was like

POWder DJ: ill continue the journy

POWder DJ: the guy comes out

POWder DJ: the annoying short guy

POWder DJ: paul or whatever

POWder DJ: and hes like

davepoobond: stupid butler

POWder DJ: congradulations….. now you get to choose him or ill give
you a million dollars!

POWder DJ: she would take the million

POWder DJ: that would be funny

davepoobond: didnt he just give them the million bucks

davepoobond: i didnt see the whole thing, it was too stupid

POWder DJ: yeah they dud

POWder DJ: did

POWder DJ: but taht would be badass if theyt like fucked him over like

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: i knew it was gonna be Zora from the first episode

davepoobond: i was hoping she’d lose

davepoobond: cause her stupid town was “supporting her”

davepoobond: and she’s so nice

davepoobond: man it woulda been great to see her go down in flames

davepoobond: “i was thinking of selling my necklace so i can help my aunt
with cancer”

davepoobond: that’s such crap no one does that except her

POWder DJ: lmao

POWder DJ: i didnt see any of that

POWder DJ: i only saw the last episode

POWder DJ: but

POWder DJ: yeah shes lame

davepoobond: i saw that whole hour of them talking about those stupid girls

POWder DJ: bull shit

davepoobond: all those girls were so boring

POWder DJ: no shit

davepoobond: they were showing what they did in their spare time

POWder DJ: they just wanted the money

davepoobond: that stupid asian girl was a “hula hoop champion”


davepoobond: A FUCKIN HULA HOOP CHAMPION and she’s like “why didnt he pick
me? i definitely woulda stayed longer if he knew that i was a hula hoop champion”

davepoobond: “i woulda rocked his world”

POWder DJ: no way

POWder DJ: they prob chose like 50 dumbasses to say shit like that

POWder DJ: my god

davepoobond: and it was so ridiculous when they were talking about sara and
her fetish videos

davepoobond: instead of showing the real thing

POWder DJ: wha?

davepoobond: they showed “simulations”

davepoobond: of people being tied up

davepoobond: only showing their feet though

POWder DJ: hahahahahhahahahahhahahahaha

davepoobond: or their wrists

POWder DJ: hahahahhahahahhaa

davepoobond: and they were still shots

POWder DJ: silly FOX……..

davepoobond: i like FOX, but they’re just stupid sometimes

POWder DJ: lol i kno

davepoobond: especially with “fox box”

davepoobond: and “power rangers ninja storm”

POWder DJ: whats a fox box

davepoobond: the stupid name they call their kids thing in the morning

davepoobond: kids programming

POWder DJ: haha

davepoobond: its not as gay as “1 saturday morning” though

POWder DJ: haha

POWder DJ: i wouldnt even know

POWder DJ: i hate tv

POWder DJ: i like

POWder DJ: the chapelle show

POWder DJ: insomnia with dave attell

davepoobond: yeah i saw 1 episode of that, but its on too late for me

POWder DJ: and

POWder DJ: south park

POWder DJ: and the man show

POWder DJ: umm

POWder DJ: and snl

POWder DJ: and

POWder DJ: uhhhh

POWder DJ: thats about it

POWder DJ: i gtg shower tho later bro

davepoobond: k bye


#6343: davepoobond -> Fajita Bum

davepoobond: enrique iglesias is my bitch

Fajita Bum: LOL

Fajita Bum: why’s that?

davepoobond: i make him sing stupid songs

davepoobond: and write scripts for his gay music videos

davepoobond: which i make gay on purpose

davepoobond: and he has no say

Fajita Bum: LOL…..he is enslaved by dave

davepoobond: enslaved by dave…sounds good

Fajita Bum: It rhymes!

davepoobond: it can be a section on squackle, and i can have pictures of dumb people and i say what i make them do

davepoobond: i can get the gayest pic of enrique and put it there

davepoobond: hahahahah ya

davepoobond: sounds funny pry wont do it for a year tho

Fajita Bum: Do you keep him in a cage and feed him only apple juice and beef jerky

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: no thats what i do to jean claude van damme

davepoobond: i make him wear diapers and do the splits for my pleasure

davepoobond: ; D

Fajita Bum: LOL, hmmm sounds…..scary!

davepoobond: =D

davepoobond: 3 people from south america went to our site

Fajita Bum: Why do the south americans hate our site!

davepoobond: they dont know about it

davepoobond: or they live on farms

Fajita Bum: !

davepoobond: it doesnt matter too much, most pry cant read english

Fajita Bum: Actually, south americans have the highest percentage of urban people in the world!

davepoobond: and thats where YOU come in…

Fajita Bum: LOL

davepoobond: you have to translate the whole site into Spanish

davepoobond: by 5:00 friday

davepoobond: morning

Fajita Bum: I’m not that good yet!!!

davepoobond: or you could always fly down there and give out squackle advertisements

Fajita Bum: LOL, and english lessons

davepoobond: we can fund you about 20 cents for your business trip down to no mans land

davepoobond: if we’re generous maybe a whole quarter

Fajita Bum: LOL

davepoobond: and a quarter is like a million pesos, so you’ll be set for the business trip. a million pesos is like 2 dollars, which can go fairly far if you talk to the right people down there

davepoobond: if you can find Kako while you’re down there, then you can stay longer

(in case you dont know who Kako the Colombian Drug Lord is, he was a Squackle member until he suddenly disappeared and we haven’t seen or heard of him since. He probably got nabbed by the mob and taken back to Columbia)

Fajita Bum: LOL!!

Fajita Bum: Where did he go!

davepoobond: but watch out for the drug lords

davepoobond: they’re out for his family

Fajita Bum: ah but he is one!

davepoobond: and the government is run by drug lords

davepoobond: so they’re after his family too

davepoobond: to give them a great…big…hug…

Fajita Bum: LOL

davepoobond: and you can record all your experiences

davepoobond: and we can put it on squackle, as a reality show

Fajita Bum: good idea

davepoobond: and get people screaming in bloody spanish conquistador pain on the floor clutching their leg cuz of a blood clot

Fajita Bum: AHH!

davepoobond: a blood clot caused by a bullet going straight through their leg!

davepoobond: nyah nyah nyah nyahhhhhh


#6302: davepoobond -> Fajita Bum

davepoobond: y’know whats a funny thing

davepoobond: baby ghosts

Fajita Bum: LOL

davepoobond: a ghost comes over to you and says “goo goo ga”

Fajita Bum: LOL

davepoobond: babies are scary already, but a baby ghost would be even scarier cuz they are a ghost, and usually ugly

Fajita Bum: And they dribble ghost goo

Fajita Bum: and sneez

Fajita Bum: sneeze

davepoobond: yay


#6085: davepoobond -> Fajita Bum

Note: most of this probably wasnt even the guy who is fajita bum, just his friend.


davepoobond: boo!!!!

davepoobond: mwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhahaha

Fajita Bum: u smell like shit u shit face

davepoobond: yes, i do, dont i

Fajita Bum: yes

davepoobond: i think, that the pee dress i have on, goes quite well with my face, dont u think?

Fajita Bum: no u faggot

davepoobond: no!?

davepoobond: how dare youy

davepoobond: you

davepoobond: how DARE you

Fajita Bum: no

davepoobond: yes

davepoobond: booger brains

Fajita Bum: fag

davepoobond: ……………………………………………..poo face

Fajita Bum: fag

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: gaf

Fajita Bum: fag

davepoobond: gaf

Fajita Bum: faggot

davepoobond: toggaf

Fajita Bum: queer

davepoobond: reeuq

Fajita Bum: poop

davepoobond: poop

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++








davepoobond: pie!

Fajita Bum: dave is a gay asshole who sucks his own goozak

davepoobond: oh

Fajita Bum: yea u heard me

Fajita Bum: goozak

davepoobond: i hate to be that dave guy

Fajita Bum: u r

davepoobond: dave……..weaver?

Fajita Bum: no

Fajita Bum: u

davepoobond: on u

Fajita Bum: dave the fag

davepoobond: gaf the evad!

Fajita Bum: i hate dave he sucks and if he ever comes near me i will kill him with my .45

Fajita Bum: meaning u

davepoobond: cool

Fajita Bum: ffkgkjfdfg

davepoobond: asdfjsfskj

Fajita Bum: agfdafdga

meanwhile at the same time, on AIM

davepoobond: hey fag

davepoobond: whats up dick pie face shit man

davepoobond: down in the dumps?

davepoobond: dont got anything to hump?

davepoobond: then jump up and down on your neighbor!

davepoobond: its lots of fun, especially with golfing shoes!

davepoobond: wooo! woo! woo!

davepoobond: woo

davepoobond: woo

davepoobond: woo

davepoobond: woo

Fajita Bum: i like cheese

davepoobond: i like pudding

davepoobond: pop poop!

davepoobond: wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwheeeeeee

Fajita Bum: poopies taste like a fresh mountain spring that has just been pooped in

davepoobond: ah, yes

Fajita Bum: yea

davepoobond: especially when u toss it around in a bag

davepoobond: and then put it in your hair

davepoobond: and use it as shampoo

davepoobond: get it!?!

Fajita Bum: no

davepoobond: shamPOOOO

davepoobond: poo

davepoobond: poo

davepoobond: poo

davepoobond: poo

davepoobond: poo

Fajita Bum: shampoooooooooooooo



davepoobond: no

davepoobond: your wrong

Fajita Bum: yes

davepoobond: i know u

davepoobond: are

Fajita Bum: im right

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: your left

Fajita Bum: yes

Fajita Bum: i am middle

davepoobond: no

Fajita Bum: yes

davepoobond: you are upside down

davepoobond: rolling around in your own dooooodooooo

davepoobond: ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddoooooooooooo


Fajita Bum: no im right side left

davepoobond: no

Fajita Bum: doodies poopies

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: your wrong!

Fajita Bum: yes



davepoobond: nonononononononononononono

Fajita Bum: yea

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: your unsure of yourself

davepoobond: you dont know squiddly pie!

Fajita Bum: im sure of himself

davepoobond: no your not

davepoobond: your sure of a butt!

Fajita Bum: yes im not

Fajita Bum: who is this

davepoobond: nyahnyahnyahnyahnyahnyah

davepoobond: you peed in your pants!

Fajita Bum: is this brian

davepoobond: i can smell it from heeeeeere

davepoobond: nooooooo

Fajita Bum: oh yea well i peed in ur pants too

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: no

Fajita Bum: so hahahahahhahahaha

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: you cant do that

Fajita Bum: yes



davepoobond: you were at the cheeseeeeeeeeee shop

Fajita Bum: i can

Fajita Bum: mayb u cant

davepoobond: with a dead parrot!

Fajita Bum: no it was a cannerie

davepoobond: no, i’m ceartain it was a parrot

davepoobond: it was saying, “fuck you fuck you” before it die

davepoobond: what were you doing with the poor parrot

Fajita Bum: IT WAS A CANNERIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

davepoobond: NOOO


Fajita Bum: YES


Fajita Bum: i do

Fajita Bum: u dont understand i dont not understand

davepoobond: thats good

davepoobond: that means you suck

davepoobond: you suck on pissed on peaaaaaaaassssssssss

Fajita Bum: nope

wronggy poo

davepoobond: you know i’m right

davepoobond: you 25 second farter

davepoobond: :-(;-):-P:-(;-):-P:-(;-)=-O:-(;-)=-O:-P:-*;-):-P:-*;-):-P=-O:-*:-(;-):-P:-D

davepoobond: :-!

Fajita Bum: squackle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

davepoobond: davepoobond: :-!

davepoobond: davepoobond: :-!

davepoobond: davepoobond: davepoobond: :-!

davepoobond: davepoobond: :-!

davepoobond: pshwagagagagillge

davepoobond: u suck

Fajita Bum: hello brian

davepoobond: i’m not brian

Fajita Bum: yes u r

davepoobond: i’m davepoobond

davepoobond: brian is the gayest name in the world! why would i have that name!?

Fajita Bum: cause u do

davepoobond: if i had that name, i would change it as soon as i knew

Fajita Bum: but u have it now and u will always have it

Fajita Bum: cause i say poo poo on u too

Fajita Bum: so ha

Fajita Bum: ha

Fajita Bum: ha

Fajita Bum: ha

Fajita Bum: ha

Fajita Bum: ha

Fajita Bum: ha

davepoobond: ………………………….no

Fajita Bum: yes……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

davepoobond: boy, you smeeeeellllllll

Fajita Bum: so i dont care

Fajita Bum: guess who i am

davepoobond: did you check your insides lately? theres a nasty virus from vietnam that a lot of piss builds up in your body and then you suddenly EXPLODE!!!!!!!

Fajita Bum: my name

davepoobond: i dont have to guess

Fajita Bum: k then who am i

davepoobond: you cant make me guess

Fajita Bum: yes thats what im doin right now

davepoobond: you would think i would say “fajita bum”

Fajita Bum: stupid face

davepoobond: but its not!

Fajita Bum: nope

Fajita Bum: hahahahahahahaha

davepoobond: cuz its a guy named “fuck me up the ass, i’m a gay bitch”

Fajita Bum: ur right

Fajita Bum: no

davepoobond: yes!

davepoobond: you said i was!

davepoobond: you are fuck me up the ass, i’m a gay bitch

Fajita Bum: im fajita bums friend but u dont know my name

Fajita Bum: hahahhahahahahahahahahahhaha

davepoobond: how would you know

Fajita Bum: cause i dp

Fajita Bum: do

Fajita Bum: *

davepoobond: nooooo

Fajita Bum: guess my name

davepoobond: u r a big piece of poop from under the bed, arent you

davepoobond: you took over the house with your other poopy friends from the toilet

Fajita Bum: nope

Fajita Bum: close though

davepoobond: hmm

davepoobond: i know!


Fajita Bum: no not even close

davepoobond: ……..are you a box of pudding?

Fajita Bum: hmmmmmmmm i dont know mayb

davepoobond: you’re a socially active grizzly bear named “poof!”

Fajita Bum: sumtimes

davepoobond: you’re a piece of pie?

Fajita Bum: no

davepoobond: brb, gotta go to the little buffalo’s room

Fajita Bum: no

Fajita Bum: just p ur pants

davepoobond: i didnt need to pee

davepoobond: i twisted my leg, and the wrench was in there

Fajita Bum: fajita bum says ur name is brian beer or sumthing like that

davepoobond: thats right, you caught me!

davepoobond: fajita bum, you bastard!

Fajita Bum: i told u

Fajita Bum: hahahahahahahahahhahahaha

davepoobond: u told me what

Fajita Bum: that ur name wus brian

davepoobond: …………who

Fajita Bum: nevermind

davepoobond: what are you talking about

davepoobond: yeah, you better never mind!

Fajita Bum: igg cya bb!

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: you wont c me

davepoobond: ttttttttuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddd!!!!!!!!!

davepoobond: u poonis

davepoobond: dont u have to leave

davepoobond: leave already!

davepoobond: youuuuuuuu fffffffaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttt heeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaddddddddd

davepoobond: peeef!


About Me

Hello, my name is Dave.  Yes, this is my web site.

I like to laugh, and I like funny things. It just so happens that I make lots of funny things as well. I’ve got plenty of ideas swirling through my brain, and if I’m lucky enough, they’ll be created one day.  I am a film major, professional video editor, and a self-proclaimed film buff.  I have seen more than 1100 films of all genres, from campy to award-winning.  I spend a lot of my days creating, writing, drawing (badly) and posting new stuff on this web site.  I currently work as a professional video editor who owns and operates a professional humor web site in a professional fashion full of professional posts that are very professional in its subsequent profession.  I am a Professor of Stupid.

If you would like to contact me for business, advertising, job opportunities, or the web site as a whole, please contact me at davepoobond@squackle.com .

I am also an amateur games journalist, working for 6 years (2004 to 2010) as a writer/public relations manager for a small gaming web site known as GamersMark (which is now defunct).  During my time there, I had reviewed/previewed 100+ games in a professional capacity, and attended three separate E3 events, as well as other various PR events for games (such as WWE Smackdown vs Raw, where I had The Miz and Dolph Zigler/Cody Rhodes on two different occasions look upon one of my create-a-character creations in disbelief).  I also posted countless news articles during my time there.

The Staff Cavalcade (recurring contributors):

Solid Billy – Squacklecast co-host

Unnamed Hero – Game reviews, occasional Squacklecast guest

J2K – Occasional random content

All the things I’ve personally authored on the site, that are significant enough to deem as “my work” are here:


Content that is tagged with “The DPB Tag” are articles that I deem as important pieces of writing and other things that I have created. As almost all the content on here isn’t necessarily what you’d see on a regular blog, it is necessary to distinguish this type of content that holds the sort of classification of content on this site that corresponds with my personal creative abilities. This tag is accessible from the following link:


My jobs on the web site are as follow:

Main web designer (knows basic HTML only), main publicist, marketing representative, the main guy, the only guy that updates the site, the only guy that works on this site, the only guy that you’ll see saying things in the updates most of the time, the guy that you should reference to when you talk about this site.  Business legislator of foreign and domestic affairs, web site organizer, web site attorney, as well as single and looking ::wink::.

Notable past contributors/personalities on the web site are:

Nose – funny guy, mostly emotional support.  Stopped giving stuff in 2000.  “I’m a psychotic porn star midget. I like oily foods and cheese. Grease is your friend. I also like 1950’s foreign horror films and sniffing glue and other substances.  I also play the guitar.”

stimpyismyname – story writer, game programmer, other junk.  Never gives stuff to put up.  “I play guitar, I like video games and movies”

elmoisfurry – wrote stuff, but stopped doing a lot in 2001.  Mostly emotional support.  “knows how to play the bass, but plays bagpipes and eats haggis”

Fajita Bum – made Dacky (the duck), mostly emotional support.  Has never actually made anything except for Dacky. “I like potato cakes, fajita bums, and poopy tarts”

Blind Bubba – emotional support.

Soup Nazi – mostly emotional support.  “uahhh…ahh..what did I say? You’re writing that down!? uhh cheese makes you fat duhhuh and constipated and dave is very weird and he will trade you in for a monkey anytime”

Holmes – A funny guy.  Only person that was a Squackle Member who is an acquaintance over the Internet.  “theres nothing left in my right brain and theres nothing right in my left brain, hows a man suppose to think?”

Elias – He is a writer or something… “I’m a lousy piece of ass, and I should know, because I’ve been there almost every time.”


UPDATE 7-14-00

dAvE bOnD: yay! we have our first affiliate! Almasy.Org. The link will always be in the Links section too check it out sometime…and remember to keep coming back to Squackle! hmm…in case your wondering why none of the others are really saying anything is because:

elmoisfurry: he’s in scotland (whoopee)

nose: he’s on a road trip, probably around the whole United States

donkmaster: he never says anything anyway

stimpyismyname: he’s here, but he never tells me anything…but he did say something, but i accidently deleted it…sorry, stimp..

fajita bum: he never says anything, and he’s also in New York


UPDATE January 20, 2000

dAvE bOnD:  i put up a song, telletubbie turd changed his name to Fajita Bum…and took down the Point of not returning page

stimpyismyname: squirrel monkeys are cool. you should buy a squirrel monkey and a moose. i’m going to put up some of my favorite emulatur page links, as soon as SOMEONE E-MAILS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!