Amuka: I was told I can get a refund here and I’m not leaving until I get it.

davepoobond: what are you trying to get a refund for, my heart?

Amuka: spleen

davepoobond: no, sir, the spleen is non-refundable

davepoobond: it says right on it

Amuka: I bought it last week and the cashier said I can return it here

davepoobond: the cashier was wrong, and so are you

Amuka: pfft. well, I want to talk to a manager

davepoobond: i am the manager

Amuka: you guys didn’t tell me this is non refundable. how is this fair?

davepoobond: lifes not fair

davepoobond: thats when they told you

Amuka: you know what? forget it. I’m done with this store. you guys are so unprofessional!

Amuka: I am a faculty member and should not be treated this way!

davepoobond: i dont even know why you’re calling a cardboard box behind a bar a store

Amuka: you shut up!

davepoobond: fine with me, i dont get paid to talk to you

Amuka: I’m never coming back. NEVER

davepoobond: good, that would do me a favor