Squackle.com: The Funniest Site on the Net

Its true.  7 random questions somehow answered it.

Quiz by Onlinedating.org
Quiz brought to you by Online Dating

Tags: davepoobond, women

(No Points - Rate Now!)

 Loading ...

Q: What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?

A: There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist’s head is so much bigger.

Tags: instrument joke, viola, violin

(0 points)

 Loading ...

A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland , at midnight. During the pilot’s preflight check, he discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight. So a message is sent to the base and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it.

The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the aircraft only to find that the latrine pump truck has been left outdoors and is frozen solid, so he must find another one in the hangar, which takes even more time. He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as not to risk criticism later.

As he’s leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, ‘Son, your attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late and I’m going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded but punished.’ Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath, stands tall and says, ‘Sir, with all due respect, I’m not your son; I’m an Airman in the United States Air Force. I’ve been in Thule , Greenland , for 11 months without any leave, and reindeers’ asses are beg inning to look pretty good to me. I have one stripe; it’s 2:30 in the morning, the temperature is 40 degrees below zero, and my job here is to pump shit out of an aircraft. Now, just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?’

Tags: pilot, US Air Force

(4 points)

 Loading ...

Answer: Himalayan.

Question: In what position is a boy while he talks on the phone?

Tags: answer-question joke, mountain, telephone

(-4 points)

 Loading ...

Answer: Dial soap.

Question: How do you stop dirty phone calls?

Tags: answer-question joke, soap, telephone

(-1 points)

 Loading ...

Answer: Hello? Hello? Hello?

Question: How does a three-headed secretary answer the phone?

Tags: answer-question joke, telephone

(-1 points)

 Loading ...

Q: What do you get if you cross a telephone with a vacuum cleaner?

A: We don’t know what to call it, just don’t put it close to your ear!

Tags: ear, telephone, vacuum

(-5 points)

 Loading ...

Q: What do you get if you cross a telephone with a night crawler?

A: Ringworm!

Tags: sick joke, telephone, worm

(-2 points)

 Loading ...

Q: What do you get if you cross a telephone with a pelican?

A: A big bill.

Tags: bill, pelican, telephone

(0 points)

 Loading ...

Q: What do you get if you cross a telephone with a fat football player?

A: A wide receiver.

Tags: football, telephone

(2 points)

 Loading ...

Bingo: Hello? Bingo’s Restaurant.

Ringo: Hello! I’d like to know, do you serve crabs?

Bingo: We serve anyone, sir!  Come on in!

Tags: conversation, crab, restaurant, telephone

(-1 points)

 Loading ...

Bingo: Hello? Bingo’s Restaurant.

Ringo: Hello! Tell me, does your chef have pig’s feet?

Bingo: I can’t tell, sir.  He’s got his shoes on!

Tags: chef, conversation, foot, pig, restaurant, telephone

(-4 points)

 Loading ...

Caller: Operator! Operator! I need you to connect me with someone in my diet support group!  I feel hungry but I don’t want to eat!

Operator: I was hungry, too, but after talking to you, I’m fed up!

Tags: conversation, food, telephone

(-2 points)

 Loading ...

Q: What do you get if you cross a wake-up call with a chicken?

A: An alarm cluck!

Tags: alarm, chicken, telephone

(-3 points)

 Loading ...

Q: What do you get if you cross a phone with a rooster?

A: A wake-up call!

Tags: rooster, telephone

(1 points)

 Loading ...