qixod – v. to send a screenshot of a PDF of your resume instead of your actual resume
Developer/Publisher: Kitsune Games || Overall: 5.0/10
Not every game can be a winner. MidBoss kind of stinks, and that’s unfortunate because the concept was interesting on its outset. I’m a sucker for taking over your enemies or learning their abilities, and MidBoss is all about doing just that. The idea being, that you slowly work your way up in possessing stronger and stronger enemies — hey, that’s cool!
Unfortunately, it isn’t very cool.
MidBoss lands in the range of “playable.” Considering the array of games available nowadays, you can’t get away with a game simply qualifying as such. The foundation is there, but the key thing that is missing is VARIETY, especially when you’re talking about a roguelike. The map you play on never changes, the diversity of monsters is very low (nor are they very exciting), and the roguelike element itself leaves a lot to be desired. MidBoss tries to be a loot game, but the loot sucks; half of the stats don’t make much perceivable impact on how you play. It is also a turn-based game, but the controls are wonky at best; controllers can’t even be used! I don’t really enjoy holding down my mouse click for 90% of the game, and using the keyboard is even more frustrating than that for some reason. It sort of boggles my mind why turn-based grid movement that is Isomtric is 4-sided rather than hexagons. There’s also practically no animation — though the art is okay, it is boring except for a few stand-outs. It also reminds me mostly of a DOS-era art style, straight out of the early 1990’s.
You hit a ton of crates, shelves, and chests to find crap, equip the crap, then try to find more crap to swap out. For some reason you have to identify loot in this game, but none of the loot is very exciting to begin with so it isn’t even worth the extra clicks to unlock useless stats. You find a vendor, eventually, where you can unload your awful gear for Balls of Yarn (the game’s currency), which is pretty funny to do… but only to a certain point. That’s when you realize you just want to vendor everything you came across.
The roguelike mechanics are perhaps the only moderately-well executed part here. They revolve around the concept of “Death Cards” in which each run (after you die) is memorialized in a screenshot of you dying, along with a snapshot of all of your gear and abilities. You can share this card with other people so they can play your seed and with your equipment, if you are so inclined. When starting a new game, you can also take one item from each of your previous deaths (up to six individual cards) one time. So, let’s say you play from scratch six times and were able to get one legendary item in each run — in your seventh run you’d be able to pick all of the best items from the previous six runs and start out with them. This improves your chances to get further in the game, but if you die you’ll lose all but one of these pieces of gear. Other than this, there is no meta game — no way to improve, collect, or slowly rise in power to be able to get further. There are a limited number of floors, so it’s not like it goes on endlessly. Of course this shows how there isn’t really a need for a grander meta game, but that’s besides the point. Most of all there isn’t really a “different” way to play the game, or extra variations on the formula to keep it fresh; you’ll be in pursuit of trying to perfect your runs using what you’ve already been introduced to.
The story is a bit humorous, but barebones. You play as an Imp named “Boss” and along with his chatty tutorial companion “Mid” you’ll work your way through all of the heels in the dungeon after your face turn. I guess health insurance premiums just got too outrageous in the dungeon business, so “Boss” goes on a workplace violence rampage. And since Boss is no longer willing to accept the role of beginning-experience-fodder, his goal is to possess stronger and stronger enemies and to eventually become the actual Boss of the dungeon. This sounds a lot like a normal work atmosphere, doesn’t it? Just wait until you get to ogle the hot chick while you are getting coffee. And then jerking it in the bathroom to keep yourself from spontaneously ejaculating in the middle of the office and into your fresh coffee. You better hope the copy machine has a technical issue, am I right? …I don’t know where I’m going with this anymore.
Since it seems like updates are planned for MidBoss in the future, a few of these concerns might pan out and the game could become more interesting, but as of right now it is pretty boring and actually tiring to play. While it’s unfair to completely characterize the game as “Early Access,” it isn’t far from it. I can appreciate completing initial development of a game and saying “this is our vision,” but when you are severely lacking content and have to hope whatever comes down the pipeline in updates remedies your initial issues, there are consequences to be had by that.
Q: Wanna hear a construction joke?
A: I’m still working on it…
trestirarelz – n. a co-worker who always seems to eat the same stuff at work. It always smells awful, too.
mierori – v. to secretly charge your cell phone at work using things you shouldn’t be using
Date: Mon, 23 Jan 2012
From: Christina the Neurotic
Subject: For the love of–NEED SHIFTS COVERED URGENTLY
My gosh….I know this is my last week of my 2 weeks put in but jeez, they scheduled me ON MY INTERNSHIP days (Mon and Tues) when I SPECIFICALLY GAVE Zsal my Spring schedule waaaay before I was quitting and before this semester came even close.
Sigh…. apparently I missed a shift today because I didn’t even get the shift OVER THE WEEKEND. I didn’t get a call from them today about missing but there’s a shift just for me tomorrow…..NEED that covered, guys.
2:30pm-8pm Tuesday 1/24th. PLEASE guys.
Thanks to whomever will be my savior,
Christina the Neurotic.
So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for:
There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.
You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I’ll be darned if you are going to take that day off!
A guy shows up late for work his first day. The boss yells, “You should have been here at 8:30!”
He replies: “Why? What happened at 8:30?”
“well, you need to do work”
– Mr. Shaft-Man
“…times the time equals work done”
– Dr. OldNBald
A boss was interviewing a man for a job in the factory. The boss said, “You’re asking a lot of money for a man with no experience.”
The man answered, “I know, but it’s much harder to do work when you don’t know anything about it.”
Bus and taxi drivers have this uncanny knack for knowing when people are late for work. That’s why they pass them by every time.
Modern medicine isn’t that great. Doctors still can’t explain why or how a man who’s healthy all through the work year gets sick on the first day of his vacation.
“What kind of work do you do?”
“My boss says it’s sloppy.”
“It took me so long to learn the ropes at work,” said the clerk, “I ended up hanging myself.”