“what if my grandmother had wheels?”
– Dr. OldNBald
Tag Archives: wheel
Joke #12921
Did you hear about the psychiatrist who put wheels on his couch so he could make house calls?
Joke #11385
Lili: Do the buses run on time?
Laurie: Yeah. I guess so.
Lili: No – they run on wheels!
Joke #8903
Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An airbag.
Joke #7846
Q: What’s black and white and has 16 wheels?
A: A zebra on rollerskates.
Jingle Bells Song #7283
Jingle Bells
Jingle Bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost its wheel
and Joker got away
hey!
(repeat)
Jingle Bells
Jingle Bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost its wheel
and Joker took ballet
hey!
(repeat)
Batmans in the kitchen
Robins in the Hall
Joker’s in the bathroom
Peeing on the wall!
Top 15 Reasons for Being Fired from Toys ‘R Us
15. A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean.
14. Every time you’re passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to “end it all.”
13. You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks.
12. Numerous parental complaints about your “Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy” display.
11. You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.
10. Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they’re the new “Jerry Springer” edition.
9. The “My Little Taxidermy Kit” (with starter squirrel) is not selling.
8. Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.
7. Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.
6. Source of reefer smoke finally traced to “nostrils” of Geoffrey the Giraffe.
5. Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after you jackknifed a Big Wheel.
4. Caught hocking phlegm into tykes’ hands and telling them it was “homemade Gack.”
3. Your sales display, “Barbie’s Struggle for Survival in Post-Nuclear Holocaust Malibu” was not exactly an overwhelming success.
2. Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the Giraffe in a leather bar.
1. Regardless of the question, you answer, “Bite me, kid — I’m on break.”
Joke #5226: Divorce For Wear
A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce.”
The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.
She then says, “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it, because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he’s a better lover than you.”
Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels.
She says, “I want the house.” Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.
She says, “I want the kids too.” The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he’s up to 80 mph.
She says, “I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too.” The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, “Is there anything you want?”
The husband says, “No, I’ve got everything I need right here.”
She asks, “What’s that?”
The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, “I’ve got the airbag!”
selass
selass – n. a fan on wheels
epasseegoo
epasseegoo – v. to lick a spinning wheel on fire
cebnaz
cebnaz – n. a car without wheels
archuleta
archuleta – v. to laugh at a wheel