Joke #24865

A man took his six-year-old son to his first football game.  Afterward, he asked the boy what he thought of the game.

“It was exciting,” he replied.  “But I don’t understand why they were killing each other for twenty-five cents.”

“What do you mean?” the dad asked.

“Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back!'”

 

You Know You’re Getting Fat When…

Being a little overweight is okay.  But you know you’re really getting fat when…

– your son plays cowboys and asks if he can use your belt as a lasso.

– your refrigerator handle wears out from overuse

– the shocks in your car wear out twice as fast as other people’s shocks.

– you sit on a metal bar stool and it becomes a metal foot stool when you get up.

– you stand in a room all alone and feel crowded.

– you have to walk through doors sideways.

– you stand on a curb and your stomach blocks traffic.

– you have to use a mirror in order to see your shoes.

– you drop money and don’t bother to bend over and pick it up unless it’s more than a quarter.

– you go for a stroll and the sidewalk creaks.

 

Joke #11364

At the Boeing Museum of Flight in Seattle, there is a full size mockup of an F/A-18 fighter. A ramp allows visitors to climb into the cockpit and get a sense of what the pilot sees and feels.

A guide at the top of the ramp points out the various controls and gauges in the cockpit and gives information about the aircraft’s capabilities to each visitor who gets in.

When my two-year-old son sat down in the plane, he seemed fascinated by all he saw and heard. Then, he looked out at us and said, “Gramma, could I have a quarter?”