The Boy Bands

This was written a long time ago when boy bands were at their prime, and dave was in 8th grade, so that’s why its really dumb

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First, it was Hanson. They gave a bad name to the bands of the 90s. At least they played instruments, even though it didn’t look like it. Then for a very short time it was Leonardo Dickaprio. That was for a pretty short time, but we’re not here to discuss him. Then they came. It was the Backstreet Boys, N’Sync, 98 Degrees, and 5ive. This just makes me sick. Why do they even call them “bands,” anyway? They just sing songs that they didn’t write at all and take all the credit for it when they say stuff like, “Oh, yes, I felt so much love when I was making this song.” It just plain PISSES ME OFF!!!! The only reason they have their success is because they are “hot.” No one gives a crap about how they sound, just how they look. This is also a nation-wide problem.

A lot of girls around here have loved the bsb since 6th grade. Now, we’re in 8th grade. That’s 3 years. 3 years of wasting money on stupid little cds made by these stupid boy bands. Some of them don’t like them anymore. I bet some of them are still jacking off for them too, i bet. I think that most of these immature, screechy, empty-headed girls probably buy one of these boy band’s cds then, throw the cd out and save the pictures.

I myself, being a victim of the backstreet boys, now hate them with all my heart. I wish that i can get all of that dumbass music out of my brain, but some of my mind is still poisoned by these bands. Having a sister that is obsessed with these bands and other little corny solo artists (namely, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera) is not helping at all. Whenever i hear one of these songs, they stick in my mind, and the little part of my mind that is still poisoned, seems to take over.

They whine. They whine so much, that’s half the reason that I get pissed off. They dont even play their instruments, that pisses me off too. Oh, excuse me, like one of those guys from bsb plays a piano. A PIANO! COME ON PEOPLE! A band sucks when it has a piano in it. Look how Ben Folds Five turned out. They have a piano player, and they aren’t popular. Either that, or because the piano player guy isn’t “hot enough” or whatever. Anyway, some people say that bsb plays instruments. They don’t. Belive me. If they did, wouldn’t you think they would be playing it in their videos or at concerts, like normal bands? In case you haven’t noticed during their stupid little performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, there was a bunch of people in the back while they were dancing their stupid little brains out, while people are screaming things like, “KEVIN! I LOVE YOU, MARRY ME!” or “YOU ARE SO HOT! MARRY ME!” MY G-O-D people. That is just plain screwed up. These misguided “bands” are misguiding misguided souls in this misguided world.

This problem that the USA has, has got to be fixed, and fixed fast. They have been taking too much space on MTV’s TRL for too long. If you look at all the requests and the stupid annoying people that talk during the video, they say something about how they look. The countries outside the USA are getting over these stupid bands. They are lucky. Why can’t the same thing happen here? Because they are just too “hot” for girls to hate most likely. Here’s what you can do. If you know someone who loves bsb or nsync or 98 degrees or 5ive or whatever da hell else is out there, go up to them and ask them why they like these stupid little dumbasses, and i bet that 4/5 will say that they think they’re hot. Try it.

 

Buy, Buy, Buy

We’re doing this for spite

‘Cuz Backstreet’s lookin’ for a fight

We’ll sell with all our might

Hey, bring the money!

 

We’ll sell with out delay

And greatly increase our pay

So now it’s time to lay,

Down and reel in the dough!

 

I know I’ve seen you at the store

It ain’t no lie

I wanna see you out that door

With our stuff buy, buy!

 

BUY, BUY!

 

We get lots of money just to sing for you

The name of this game’s called revenue

Buy our CD’s

And it ain’t no lie

Common, buy, buy, buy!

 

I’m sorry if we seem a little tough

But that many zeros are not enough

Give us money please

And it ain’t no lie

Common, buy, buy, buy!

 

OK don’t be really tough

Just go out and buy our stuff

Especially the posters

‘Cuz we’re buff!

 

I know we are wealthy

But it’s just not enough you see

‘Cause we are really greedy

Dusk till dawn

 

We’ve got money but we want some more

It ain’t no lie

N*SYNC’s salaries blow sky high

When you buy, buy, buy!

 

BUY BUY!

 

We lip-sync to get lots of money from you

The name of this games’s called revenue

Buy our CD’s

And it ain’t no lie

Common, buy, buy, buy!

 

Sorry if we seem a little tough

But 10 billion dollars is not enough

Give us money please

And it ain’t no lie

Common, buy, buy, buy

 

BUY BUY BUY BUY!!!