Tag Archives: kiss

Joke #12852

A handsome bachelor was sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out when along came his girlfriend.  “I’ll kiss those tears away,” she said, trying to console him.  For several minutes she smothered him with kisses, but he still continued to cry.  “Won’t anything stop those tears?” she asked him.

Looking up and rubbing his eyes, he said, “No.  It’s hay fever.  But please continue the treatment.”

You Know You’re Living In the Past If…

You know you’re living in the past if:

…You think children are to be seen and not heard.

…Detroit stopped making parts for your car ten years ago.

…The last time you went to the movies, they were still censoring people who kissed each other on the mouth.

…You think the most suggestive dance you ever saw is the Twist.

…You think the family car belongs to the parents.

…You think a picket line is a fence.

Your Blind Date is a Dud If…

If you’re a fellow who goes out on a lot of blind dates, you’ve got to beware of real duds.  Your blind date is a dud if:

– She’s the kind of girl who uses too much perfume and not enough deodorant.

– She yells downstairs that she’ll be ready as soon as she finds her wig and false teeth.

– She sticks her bublegum behind her ear to kiss you hello.

– You have to stand on a chair to kiss her hello.

If you’re a girl who goes out on blind dates, you’ve got to beware of losers.  Girls, your blind date is a loser if:

– He has more hair on his face than he does on his head.

– He picks the lock of your front door instead of knocking.

– He shows up driving a hearse.

– He asks you if you’d like something to drink and takes you to the water fountain in the park.

– He takes you to a fancy restaurant wearing a tee shirt with another girl’s picture printed on it.

– When he meets your parents, he picks a fight with them.