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February 20th, 2012 davepoobond Posted in Chat Logs, Lame Chat Rooms No Comments »
In Trade Chat…
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Neckslicerr: how do u get a girl thats really pretty to like u
davepoobond: go after her legs like the cake you ate
Neckslicerr: ?
Neckslicerr: wow really
Neckslicerr: your funny
davepoobond: i wanna let you know that i am ready to go
Neckslicerr: your fat.
davepoobond: i come around when you least expect me, when your glass is empty
Tags: cake, fat, girl, glass, World of Warcraft
Tagged People: davepoobond, Neckslicerr
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August 21st, 2011 Go Smoke A Toilet Posted in (C) Song Parodies, Poetry and Songs No Comments »
Parody of the actual Dreidel song.
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Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it outta wood
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I played it in the ‘hood
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it outta glass
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I’m gonna kick yo……..
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it outta dough
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I wanna pimp a ho!
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it with my stash
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
Yo mama is white trash!
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I make it while I sing
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I got the madd bling bling!
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I don’t got yo present
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
From projects, represent!
Tags: dough, ghetto, glass, wood
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April 24th, 2011 davepoobond Posted in Jokes No Comments »
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
“Oh my, I am so sorry,” the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. “Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,” she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap… and stay for breakfast.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. It was the best meal he ever had.
“You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?”.
“No,” she replies… “You just happened to catch my eye.”
Tags: dinner, eye, glass, table
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March 1st, 2011 davepoobond Posted in Dictionary No Comments »
waterbury – v. to bury someone in water. This is usually used to essentially put someone in a casket inside of a glass aquarium, and into the ground. The glass aquarium may or may not be covered in dirt. An inventive way to be buried until the glass breaks and you stink up the whole cemetery with your stupid idea of being buried in water.
Tags: aquarium, cemetery, glass, grave, verb, water, waterbury
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February 21st, 2011 davepoobond Posted in (C) Misandry Jokes, Jokes No Comments »
A woman said to her friend, “I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can’t imagine. He doesn’t put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things.”
The friend says, “Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, ‘Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.’”
The first woman asked, “Did it help?”
Her friend said, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since.”
Tags: glass, house, husband, plate, woman
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February 19th, 2011 davepoobond Posted in (C) Sick Jokes, (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »
Q: What did medieval cannibals eat for dinner?
A: Peasant Under Glass.
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February 19th, 2011 davepoobond Posted in Jokes No Comments »
On a hot day a thirsty man rushed into a restaurant, drank the largest glass of water he could find, and then sat down at a table.
“Would you like to see a menu?” asked the waitress.
“I’d like another glass of water like the one you had out front,” replied the still thirsty man.
“Hey, Harry!” the waitress shouted. “I found the idiot who drank our aquarium!”
Tags: aquarium, glass, waitress, water
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February 19th, 2011 davepoobond Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes No Comments »
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January 31st, 2011 davepoobond Posted in The Squackle Quiz No Comments »
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January 29th, 2011 davepoobond Posted in Quotes No Comments »
“yep that is what its there for, a glass, ball, sponge, I don’t even know what else…scissors?”
- Mrs. Stickums
Tags: ball, glass, scissors, Sponge
Tagged People: Mrs. Stickums
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January 27th, 2011 davepoobond Posted in Quotes No Comments »
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January 17th, 2011 davepoobond Posted in Quotes No Comments »
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January 15th, 2011 davepoobond Posted in Quotes No Comments »
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December 18th, 2010 davepoobond Posted in (F) Conversational Joke, Jokes No Comments »
WAITER: “What will you have to drink?”
CUSTOMER: “I’ll have ginger ale.”
WAITER: “Pale?”
CUSTOMER: “Oh, no. Just a glass will do.”
Tags: bucket, customer, drink, glass, waiter
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July 28th, 2008 davepoobond Posted in (F) Conversational Joke, Jokes No Comments »
Brother: Do you know what I’m going to give Mom for her birthday? A beautiful cut-glass flower vase.
Sister: But she already has a beautiful cut-glass flower vase.
Brother: No, she doesn’t. I just dropped it!
Sister: Did you tell Mom you broke the vase?
Brother: Yes. I said, “Mom, do you remember that vase you always worried that I would break?” And she said, “Yes, what about it?” And I said, “Your worries are over!”
Tags: birthday, flower, glass, mom, vase
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