WoW Chat #22143

In Trade Chat…

Neckslicerr: how do u get a girl thats really pretty to like u

davepoobond: go after her legs like the cake you ate

Neckslicerr: ?

Neckslicerr: wow really

Neckslicerr: your funny

davepoobond: i wanna let you know that i am ready to go

Neckslicerr: your fat.

davepoobond: i come around when you least expect me, when your glass is empty

 

Ghetto Dreidel Song

Parody of the actual Dreidel song.


Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it outta wood

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I played it in the ‘hood

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it outta glass

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I’m gonna kick yo……..

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it outta dough

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I wanna pimp a ho!

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it with my stash

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
Yo mama is white trash!

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I make it while I sing

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I got the madd bling bling!

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I don’t got yo present

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
From projects, represent!

 

Joke #21163

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.  He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

“Oh my, I am so sorry,” the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. “Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,” she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap… and stay for breakfast.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.  It was the best meal he ever had.

“You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?”.

“No,” she replies… “You just happened to catch my eye.”

 

waterbury

waterbury – v. to bury someone in water.  This is usually used to essentially put someone in a casket inside of a glass aquarium, and into the ground.  The glass aquarium may or may not be covered in dirt.  An inventive way to be buried until the glass breaks and you stink up the whole cemetery with your stupid idea of being buried in water.

 

Joke #18556

A woman said to her friend, “I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can’t imagine. He doesn’t put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things.”

The friend says, “Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, ‘Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'”

The first woman asked, “Did it help?”

Her friend said, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since.”

 

Joke #18297

On a hot day a thirsty man rushed into a restaurant, drank the largest glass of water he could find, and then sat down at a table.

“Would you like to see a menu?” asked the waitress.

“I’d like another glass of water like the one you had out front,” replied the still thirsty man.

“Hey, Harry!” the waitress shouted.  “I found the idiot who drank our aquarium!”

 

Joke #11417

Brother: Do you know what I’m going to give Mom for her birthday? A beautiful cut-glass flower vase.

Sister: But she already has a beautiful cut-glass flower vase.

Brother: No, she doesn’t. I just dropped it!

Sister: Did you tell Mom you broke the vase?

Brother: Yes. I said, “Mom, do you remember that vase you always worried that I would break?” And she said, “Yes, what about it?” And I said, “Your worries are over!”