National Realize-You-Have-An-Elderly-Relative-And-Talk-To-Them Day – n. a holiday that occurs on February 22nd.

Tags: February, holiday, holiday stuff, National Realize-You-Have-An-Elderly-Relative-And-Talk-To-Them Day, noun, old

National 210 Day – n. a holiday that occurs on February 10th.

Tags: February, holiday, holiday stuff, National 210 Day, noun

National Dance-Underachievement Day – n. a holiday that occurs on February 9th.

Tags: dance, February, holiday, holiday stuff, National Dance-Underachievement Day, noun

National Dance-Failure Day – n. a holiday that occurs on February 8th.

Tags: dance, February, holiday, holiday stuff, National Dance-Failure Day, noun

National Grandmas’-Birthdays Day – n. a holiday that occurs every February 6th

Tags: February, holiday, holiday stuff, National Grandmas'-Birthdays Day, noun

National Hate-High-School Day – n. a holiday that occurs on February 1st.

Tags: February, high school, holiday, holiday stuff, National Hate-High-School Day, noun

I hope its not just me, but I find it unbelievably pretentious to name a whole month after a super-specific idea.  It pisses me off every time we hit Black History Month.  Excuse me, I think that month is actually called FEBRUARY.  Sorry if I don’t think your stupid cancer awareness or asian pacific heritage deserves one twelfth of the year to be devoted to your seemingly important cause.

These kinds of holidays should only be allowed to claim one day or at most one week of the year.  There are 365 days.  Pick ONE of those, you greedy assholes.  I hear there’s a bunch of days in August where nothing happens, how about one of those?  Why do I have to hear about your sanctimonious bullshit for a whole god damn month?  We get it.  You want us to learn about you. Wah wah cry me a river.  Why don’t you go do something meaningful with your time rather than parading around saying “OH IT’S CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!”

Shit.  I wasn’t aware of cancer.  But I sure as hell am now considering there’s a whole fucking month named after it.  HOORAY!

Just looking at the list of month long holidays on Wikipedia, I’m astounded half of them exist.  Here’s a current list of stupid bullshit month-long holidays:

American Heart Month • Asian Pacific American Heritage Month • Black History Month • Cancer Control Month • Child Abuse Prevention Month • Confederate History Month • Gay and Lesbian Pride Month • Jewish American Heritage Month • National Breast Cancer Awareness Month • National Disability Employment Awareness Month • National Hispanic Heritage Month • National Nutrition Month • Ramadan • Steelmark Month • Women’s History Month

I’m giving you the big FU to all of it.  I am now founding “I Hate Month-Long Holidays” Year — and it’ll be the whole year long every year until the rest of time.  How do you like that????

It’s also amazing to me that you only care about preventing child abuse one month out of the year, but the rest of the time its a-okay (unless you get caught)!

Tags: A DPB Tag, African American, America, Asia, asshole, August, cancer, February, holiday stuff

Q: What month do people talk the least?

A: February – because it’s the shortest month of the year.

Tags: February

octofobulary – n. someone born in October who dies in the month of Feburary or the period of time between October and Feburary.

Ex. She was an octofobulary.

Tags: February, noun, October, octofobulary