Branching Paths (2016) Review

branchingpaths

Branching Paths (2016), directed by Anne Ferrero

Production Company: Assemblage | Length: 83 min || Rating: 9/10

Branching Paths is a documentary that follows the director’s in-depth examination of the Japanese indie game scene.  Throughout the documentary, which spans over the course of 2013 to 2015, you’ll see just how diverse it really is; all sorts of different people are introduced in Branching Paths.  Of course most are of Japanese nationality, but there is a swath of internationalism that makes its way into the documentary, with westerners creating a foothold in Japan and becoming part of the diverse fabric that makes up the Japanese indie game scene.

The director takes a low-key narrating role when needed.  Much of the narrative is pushed by the interviews and text that pops up on the screen saying what event we are at and what the purpose of it is.  A series of indie game events occur in Japan during the time span of the documentary, and we revisit the same events in different years, which shows the subtle changes, recurring faces and recurring games to see their progress.  Games we are introduced to pop-up throughout the different events: Million Onion Hotel, Downwell, and TorqueL among others.

Much of the interviews focus on the culture and market of Japan as a whole and how North America is the biggest market for their indie games despite developing them in Japan.  Because the PC game market in Japan is so small, it is important for developers to make their games available on mobile or consoles, whereas to appeal to the North American market they almost always need to be on PC.  Many games are crowdsourced or find their success in the North American market before being able to become successful in Japan.  We also see the progression of the promotion of indie games by big publishers such as Sony and Microsoft, carving out spaces at the Tokyo Game Show, and creating an event just for indies in the form of BitSummit.

Interviews with higher profile Japanese indie developers such as Keiji Inafune of Mighty No. 9, Lucas Pope of Papers Please, Dylan Cuthbert of Pixel Junk (Q-Games), and IGA of Castlevania fame also make their way into the documentary.  It is interesting to learn a little bit about the similarities between indie developers no matter their origins.  There are many other lesser-known/locally known people who add to the composition of the documentary.  A segment of the documentary also explores the blurring of the lines between traditional “doujin” (self-published) media like comic books and the indie game market.

We don’t really get to know much about the director herself other than she was born in France, and grew up on Japanese games.  It would have been nice to learn a little more about the director during the first part of the movie, but it was obvious they didn’t want to lose focus from what the actual subject of the documentary was.  The director is possibly on screen one or two times but her personal journey feels more like a disembodied journey as a result.  She narrates two or three times and the last part of the documentary she doesn’t make any other narrations.  The quality of the cinematography is quite good, and I was only frazzled by a couple of weird shots they kept re-using, such as focusing in on a person’s top half of their head and not seeing their mouth, or people’s fingers.  B-roll like this probably could have been better replaced by more video about that developer’s game or something.

Another thing to note about Branching Paths, is that it is subtitled about 90% of the time.  The documentary is interestingly multilingual as you’ll see most interviews in Japanese, a few interviews in English, and the bits of narration done in French.  If you aren’t a fan of subtitles, it might not be for you, but you’d have to be gifted in language to enjoy this without subtitles.  It would have also been nice if the documentary spaced out interviews a bit at times so as to not have to read subtitles while also having to read titling about events/dates.

Branching Paths is an interesting look into a niche market in the overall gaming industry.  A lot of focus has been put on indie gaming and mobile gaming in the past few years, and focusing on this area is a unique subject.  Most of what is learned in this documentary may be more interesting for people who aren’t particularly sensitive to the nuances of gaming culture/markets, but even I learned a few things from this documentary.  It held my interest throughout and didn’t really drag at any point.  Branching Paths is available on Steam for $9.99.

A trailer for the documentary can be seen below:

 

Why Ale?

davepoobond also wrote this.

EXT: Yale Campus

Students walk by. BELLS TOLL

CUT TO:

Title Screen “Why Ale? – The FIRST Ivy League school to graduate a TARD”

Bells continue

CUT TO:

HOLDEN, a man with a turned up nose holding a handkerchief, is sitting in a chair.

HOLDEN

Yale. The very mention of it makes

me very excited. Hi, I’m Holden Mc

Fargo. Join me as we take a tour

through Yale. Experience its mystery,

its splendor, and its Gay German

club. Lets start at the beginning.

Who gets accepted to Yale? The

most worthy? The rich kids? No no

no, it’s far more simple than that..

CUT TO

INT: Acceptance office

MAN with stamp is stamping a pile of applications.

MAN

My job is to stamp this pile of

letters… I’m not really sure how

we get all the students accepted

every year… I’m pretty sure I

stamp all of them… (shrugs)

(Hitchcock shot)

[Parts between brackets go on at the same time in split screen]

[

INT: Prestigious bedroom

Hitchcock shot of ARMEN, an overweight Armenian senior, is just waking up. He yawns.

ARMEN

(excited)

Oh boy! My Yale letter!

(runs out)

INT: Messy bedroom

Hitchcock shot of PAULIE, an overweight Caucasian senior, is just waking up. He yawns.

PAULIE

(hung over)

God… that’s bright…

(walks out)

]

[

EXT: Prestigious driveway

Hitchcock shot of mailbox. Armen opens it and gets his acceptance letter.

ARMEN

(screaming like a little girl)

EEEEEEEE! I got in! That

Armenian crap worked!

EXT: Dirty driveway littered with car parts

Hitchcock shot of mailbox. Paulie opens it and gets his regection letter.

PAULIE

(Yelling)

**** ***** ****** **** *****!!! My 4.9

didn’t work! *** **** ******** *******

***!!!!

]

CUT TO

HOLDEN is standing by a fireplace. He lights up a pipe.

HOLDEN

Every year, the Yale Bus, or the

“Yale Yale” as the students prefer

to call it, picks them each up for

their trip to Yale. God I love Yale…

CUT TO

EXT: Street corner

PHILIPE and ARMEN meet.

ARMEN

Hi Philipe, are you taking the Yale

bus to Yale?

 

PHIILIPE

I believe it’s called the Yale Yale.

 

ARMEN

Oh.. so are you taking the Yale

Yale to Yale?

 

PHILIPE

Yale.

 

ARMEN

Eh?

 

PHILIPE

It means “yes”.

(Bus pulls up)

BUSDRIVER

All Yale?

 

KID IN BACK OF LINE

Uh, Harvard?

(bus driver takes out an uzi and mows him down)

BUS DRIVER

(panting)

All Yale?

(everyone nods)

Good..

CUT TO

INT: Den

Paulie is sitting on a sofa eating cottage cheese, watching TV, and hugging a pillow.

CUT TO

HOLDEN is frying eggs.

HOLDEN

Yale University comprises three

major academic components:

Yale College (the undergraduate

program), the Graduate School of

Arts and Sciences, and ten

professional schools. In addition,

Yale encompasses a wide array

of research organizations, libraries

and museums, and administrative

and support offices. Approximately

11,250 students attend Yale. My

wife is a thieving whore.

CUT TO

INT: Classroom at Yale

Armen and Phillipe enter and sit down. SALAD BOWL, the dean, enters wearing “unusual attire”.

SALAD BOWL

First off, I’d like to welcome you all

and congratulate you. Congratulations,

you go to Yale. (everyone applauds)

Yale University is a large research

university with a wide array of

programs, departments, schools,

centers, museums, and affiliated

organizations. This Factsheet

addresses some frequently asked

statistical questions about Yale,

especially those concerning

undergraduate programs. Only a

subset of Yale’s resources are

represented in this Factsheet. For a

fuller view of the University, consult

related web pages that can be reached

via the University “front door” at

www.yale.edu. Now I’d like to welcome

your professor, ROBESPIERRE, the

18th century leader of the Jacobins!

(APPLAUSE)

(Robespierre enters in 18th century French attire)

ROBESPIERRE

Congratulations, you go to Yale.

(everyone applauds) I’m insanely French.

CUT TO

INT: Closet

Robespierre is sitting in front of the camera.

ROBESPIERRE

All the professors at Yale like to

begin classes with applause. Then

we like to say, “Congratulations,

you go to Yale.” Then we applaud

again. I’m French. Eiffel tower.

Blah blah blah.

CUT TO

INT: Closet

Armen is sitting in front of the camera.

ARMEN

All the professors at Yale like to

begin classes with applause. Then

they like to say, “Congratulations,

you go to Yale.” Then we applaud

again. I’m Armenian. System Bro.

Blah blah blah. Wait don’t go yet.

I really do want to talk about Yale-

CUT TO

INT: Paulie’s room. He wakes up and walks out to the kitchen where his MOM is cooking.

PAULIE

Hey… got a cigarette?

 

MOM

Do I..? Who do you think you are?!

You can’t smoke in my house! BLAH

BLAH BLAH!! (Paulie walks out)

CUT TO

INT: New classroom. CHRISTOPHER LOWELL walks in.

CHRISTOPHER LOWELL

Congratulations, you go to Yale.

(everyone applauds) Eh Uh! ( everyone

says “Eh Uh!” and we cut between

them for a minute)

CUT TO

INT: Closet

Christopher Lowell is sitting in front of the camera.

CHRISTOPHER LOWELL

I remember one time, on one wall,

someone wrote, “Yale sucks. The

only schools that really matters are

Princeton and Princeton because

we’re simply better than you are.”

(Hitchcock shot) Eh Uh! (Cut to

camera guy. He does it too)

CUT TO

INT: Holden is heard behind a bathroom door.

HOLDEN

The Yale Webmaster Team is

responsible for maintaining accounts

and services on the institutional web

server. The Webmaster pages contain

information on web publishing, policies,

privacy, and access to summary reports

of server logs.

CUT TO

EXT: Paulie is asking random people for cigarettes

CUT TO

INT: Dormroom

STUDENT1 and STUDENT2 are talking

STUDENT1

Yale yale yale yale yale.

 

STUDENT2

Yale yale yale yale! Yale?

 

STUDENT1

Yale…

CUT TO

EXT: Street in front of Yale

People are doing normal crap. Some kids run in chasing a Jet. He jumps into their arms and shouts “JEEETS!”. Everyone drops what they’re doing and gets into formation. Musical dance number with Nick’s Yale song ensues.

CUT TO

INT: Holden’s pad.

Holden is holding his bloody hand.

HOLDEN

Each Yale undergraduate belongs

to one of the residential colleges.

Most students live there after their

freshman year (most first-year

students live together on Old Campus)

and take their meals there; some

courses and many extracurricular

activities are organized by the

individual colleges; and a great deal

of socializing with classmates, faculty,

and others is centered in the colleges.

The Yale College Undergraduate

Admissions Web site provides a more

extensive overview of the residential

college system, and the Yale College

Online Tour presents a range of visual

experiences of residential college life.

I ain’t got no college degree you stupid

asses. YOU stupid. Asses.

CUT TO

INT: Classroom

JOEL, the film professor, is sitting in front of the camera.

JOEL

Mmmyes, here in Yale we have many films

and yeah… here’s one of them. (shows

a film where Dave eats stuff in slow

motion) Wonderful. (shows a PSA that is

not hitchknifer)

CUT TO

INT: Classroom

FRANZ is in front of the camera

FRANZ

I run the German club yes?

HAHAHAHA! Emerging in response

to student initiative and creativity

during the 1960’s, the Gay German

Cultural Center at Yale University

seeks to develop an environment in

which cultural diversity is understood

and respected throughout the campus

community and beyond. Helping Yale

University to be responsive to the

cultural, intellectual, developmental

and social needs of a complex and

diverse student body, the Center

incorporates undergraduate, graduate

and professional students, faculty,

administrators, Chinese Hockey Team, alumni, and

members of the New Haven community

into a constituency of common interests.

Symbolizing “home” for those who

aspire to greater understanding and

appreciation of Gay German and African

culture, the Center and its student

organizations provide a wide range of

academic support and advisement,

leadership skills training, and

cultural/socio-political programming.

Events such as lectures, poetry slams,

cultural center teas, political forums,

tutoring and mentoring of youth in New

Haven, and a host of stimulating activities

take place regularly. Among the annual

events are:

Gay German Student Welcome Reception and

Open House, Gay German Solidarity Conference,

Parents Weekend Classical Music Recital,

Yale/Harvard Game Activities, Alumni Career

Panel, Movie Nights, Gay German

Graduate/Undergraduate Mentor Night,

Kwanzaa Ceremony, Weekly Study Breaks,

Art Gallery Exhibits, Martin Luther King

Commemoration, Gay German History Month

Celebration, Achievement Awards Banquet

and Gay German Graduates’ Celebration.

HO HA HO HA!!

CUT TO

INT: Classroom

FREUDOXI, the team captain of the Chinese hockey team, is sitting in front of the camera.

FREUDOXI

The programs, services and

activities of the Chinese Hockey

Team Cultural Center are

administered by the director, who

also serves as an assistant dean

of Yale College. Assistance in

conducting the Center’s affairs is

provided by two graduate student

Chinese Hockey Team, and a

team of ten undergraduate student

Chinese Hockey Team members.

With a cadre of student peer

counselors (ethnic counselors),

the assistant dean/director offers

academic advising, personal

counseling, guidance, referral, and

problem-solving services. In

addition, the Chinese Hockey

Team produces a bi-monthly

newsletter and annual

intercollegiate magazine: Black Ivy.

All members of the Yale community

are welcome.

CUT TO

INT: Classroom

SPLINTER, the ninja club curator, is in front of the camera

SPLINTER

Ninjas can kill anyone they want!

Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time

and don’t even think twice about it.

These guys are so crazy and

awesome that they flip out ALL the

time. I heard that there was this

ninja who was eating at a diner.

And when some dude dropped a

spoon the ninja killed the whole town.

My friend Mark said that he saw a

ninja totally uppercut some kid just

because the kid opened a window.

And that’s what I call REAL Ultimate

Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don’t believe that ninjas have

REAL Ultimate Power you better get

a life right now or they will chop your

head off!!! It’s an easy choice, if you

ask me.

Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet

that I want to crap my pants. I can’t

believe it sometimes, but I feel it

inside my heart. These guys are

totally awesome and that’s a fact.

Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong,

powerful, and sweet. I can’t wait to

start yoga next year. I love ninjas

with all of my body (including my pee pee).

CUT TO

Title screen “GO TO YALE”

 

The Hobo Wars

(a guy stands in an alley next to a trash can. You can hear sirens in the background.)

Guy: Hello, my name is Mr. Tard, and I am going to teach you about a series of inner-city conflicts called The Hobo Wars. The Hobo Wars started when one hobo made fun of another hobo’s tutu, and then-

(A hobo pops out of the trash can)

Hobo: this documentary sucks! everyone knows that The Hobo Wars started when george w bush and saddam hussein logged on to the same gay porn site that showed nude firemen fucking computers! And when the bicycle valve began to sweat-

(A redneck drives a tractor through the wall)

Redneck: is this here dang thing a documentary about beer? I love beer. I’ve been drinkin’ it since I was a young’un. Beer’s good because-

(A gay guy wearing only a rainbow wig and a purple thong appears from off camera. He has a mysterious white substance around his mouth.)

Gay Guy: My name is blowthetoad. I listen to boy bands because i’m gayer than elton john. I blow every guy that i see, even toads. Because of that, i have the name blowthetoad. Now let’s listen to this happenin’ beat!

(he pulls a radio out from nowhere and it plays n’sync)

(blowthetoad starts to dance)

Hobo: this documentary sucks!

Blowthetoad (still dancing to really gay music): did somebody say suck? i love to suck dicks. I also love getting fucked-

Redneck: this here documentary ain’t no good!

(he pulls out a gun and shoots blowthetoad)

(everyone cheers)

Mr. Tard: But that leaves the problem as to what this documentary is about!

Hobo: IT’S ABOUT THE HOBO WARS, YOU BASTARD!

Redneck: IT’S ABOUT BEER!

(all 3 of them get into a fight)

(the hobo wins)

Hobo: this documentary is about the camera showing an unchanging shot of the trash can for an hour!

(the camera shows an unchanging shot of a trash can for an hour)

(end)

 

Behind the Lyrics – Grandpa’s Town Pleasing Sweets

Fun fact: this was actually made into a real movie for school.

The SBC Behind The Lyrics title screen displays.

Announcer

On this edition, of Squackle! Broadcasting Company, Behind The Lyrics…

A picture of the members of Grandpa’s Town Pleasing Sweets comes up

Announcer

You will experience, happiness, sadness, and anger as the members of the group…when Behind The Lyrics tells the story….of Grandpa’s Town Pleasing Sweets

The SBC Behind The Lyrics title screen displays again.

Another picture of the rap group appears, staying on the screen.

Announcer

From Acornville, Grandpa’s Town Pleasing Sweets was composed of 3 original members: Mark Petroleum, the main lead singer, Keith Bangs the bass player, and Toby Slick, another singer.

In a white room, MARK PETROLEUM is being interviewed

Mark Petroleum

Oh yeah, I remember when we first started out. Man, we were having the time of our life, going from club to club. BUT THAT WAS OF COURSE BEFORE I HATED THEM ALL….

Another picture of the group appears.

Mark Petroleum

Yeah, it was great, we went from club to club, doing our performances. I don’t even think we got paid for most of them. Just so that people would know about us. But basically we were going nowhere.

Another member, KEITH BANGS is being interviewed in a white room as well.

Keith Bangs

We were going nowhere. Me and Toby wanted OUT of Acornville.

Another member, TOBY SLICK is also being interviewed in the room too.

Toby Slick

So I went down to Keith Bangs’ and said, “we got no money, what we gonna do?” and so he says “FUGGET ABOUT IT….lets get rid of Mark”

A still picture of Keith and Toby “yelling” at Mark appears

Announcer

Just as the band was starting off, Keith and Toby couldn’t stand staying in Acornville, and decided the problem was Mark.

Goes back to Mark.

Mark Petroleum

I don’t know what was wrong with my singing…I thought we were rockin!

Goes to a “performance” with Mark singing really bad.

Goes to Keith in the white room

Keith Bangs

I mean, we were supposed to be a rap group, and he’s over here singin opera! What kind of a rap group is that?

Goes to Toby.

Toby Slick

We OBVIOUSLY had to get rid of him. And another thing, he SMELLED like CRAZY. Everytime he opened that gaping of hole of his, you could smell last night’s Chinese!

Goes to a picture of Mark with his mouth open.

Announcer

Mark’s bad habits and bad singing were the root of all the unsuccessfulness that they had.

Goes to the picture of Keith and Toby arguing with Mark.

Keith Bangs

Pretty soon after Toby came over to my apartment, we had to kick him out…and get a new singer. So that meant making auditions.

Goes to a picture of Mark, Keith and Toby sitting at a table in a row.

Keith Bangs

I don’t know why Mark was there, I guess he was helping us out get a replacement for him

A scene of Mark, Keith, and Toby sitting at the table, watching auditions for singing, like American Idol.

Someone is singing already and then he stops.

Mark Petroleum

Now there’s two things, you need to be in this group. One – is image. The other is voice. And C is talent. You’ve got none! I NEVER WANNA SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN. YOU WANNA REPLACE ME IN THIS GROUP, YOU HAVE TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE

Keith Bangs

Girl, that was great. You go girl….out the door. Yeah go now.

Toby Slick

Now I can see some potential in that….the potential to GET OUTTA HERE

The singer pouts and then leaves.

Goes to a still picture of Edmonem

Announcer

And that’s when Edmonem came in the door.

Goes back to Keith.

Keith Bangs

I know my singers, and Edmonem was a good singer…..yeah….

Goes back to the scene with the American Idol thing.

Edmonem hums a few bars and sings a little bit, and then stops.

Mark Petroleum

YOU’RE BAD. BAD BAD BAD. NO WAY YOU’RE GETTING IN THIS-

Keith Bangs

YOU’RE IN!

Toby Slick

Oh yeah.

Goes to a still picture with Edmonem, Keith and Toby.

Keith Bangs

Yeah, our band was getting off to a good start. Oh YEAHHH!

Goes to a picture of Mark Petroleum, all alone.

Toby Slick

But after we kicked Mark out, he was never the same. He became addicted….to soap.

Goes to a picture of Joy Soap.

Mark Petroleum

Gosh, I just love soap…especially Joy. It made me joy….ful…. Gimme…… I NEED IT! AHHH!

Goes to Mark, and he’s just looking around.

Mark Petroleum

…..sweet…..delicious….soooooaaappp….

Mark pulls out a syringe full of soap and squirts it out into his hands, laughing maniacally.

Goes to a still picture of Mark on the floor with a soap bottle next to his head.

Keith Bangs

I mean, Mark just went crazy after he left. Every time he came over to my house, he used up all my soap. I think in one week, I spent 70 dollars worth of soap, just so I could wash my hands.

Toby Slick

It sickens and saddens me every time I see Mark. He always had pruned fingers.

The picture switches to Keith, Toby, and Edmonem standing around

Announcer

As soon as Mark was booted out of the band, Keith, Toby, and Edmon went right away from underground to mainstream rap, without even being signed on to a record label.

The Record Executive, HABIBI THE CRAZY JUMPING ARAB is being interviewed in the white room.

Habibi

So one day, I heard this great song on the rap station, K-RAP, and I say “Whoa, who is dis? Sign’m up, habibis!”

A still picture of Habibi hugging Keith Bangs.

Announcer

Keith and Habibi got pretty “buddy buddy” and often went to many parties with each other, after they got signed to Kabangaranga Productions

Keith Bangs

Yeah, I guess you could call me spoiled, but hey that’s just the way I am..

Pictures of Grandpa’s Town Pleasing Sweets go through.

Toby Slick

That stupid Keith, I was supposed to be the Record Exec’s best friend! ME ME ME ME ME!

Goes back to Mark

Mark Petroleum

Why are you asking me this question? I have no idea what happened! I’m not even in the band…

GUY WITH A BAG ON HIS HEAD is getting interviewed now

Guy with Bag On his Head

Whoo whoo! Ahahaah! WHEE!

Another still picture of the band.

Announcer

After getting signed up, they made lots of money, but barely enough to uphold their lifestyle of living in garbage cans outside McDonalds, and they soon learned that they weren’t getting the bulk of their money.

The group’s manager, K SO is being interviewed

K So

Yeah, so what if I stole most of their money? But in the end, I SHOULD be getting this much money. Lemme show you my reasoning.

K So brings out a piece of paper and a pencil, and the camera focuses in on it.

K So

So lets say GTPS makes “x” amount of dollars. You divide that by 4, and you get x over 4 then you take the square root of x over 4 then you multiply it by a hundred and divide it by 10 then multiply it by 798, subtract 32 cents and you get my fair share.

Goes back to Toby Slick

Toby Slick

Man, we was only getting like 8 cents a show man. THAT’S robbery! We weren’t even getting minimum wage! I bet we’d have made more money working at Toys R Us as a shoe salesman than what we were doing.

Goes to Keith Bangs

Keith Bangs

Oh, I didn’t care. I was living in Habibi’s 15 bedroom guest house in Beverly Hills!

Goes to Edmonem

Edmonem

Right, so I was like “WHAAAT FOO” We aint getting no MONEY? I convinced Keith and Toby that we should KICK-K-SO-OUT of the system, and become our own managers

Goes to K So

K So

AHAHA..wouldn’t they know, it’d be the end of their careers? Being your own managers makes you get too much money, and you don’t even do anything when you’re manager….ummm….yeah..I don’t know what I just said…never mind…heheh…heh…heh…..don’t you have someone else to interview?

Goes to Edmonem

Edmonem

Little did we know…hehe…it was a little…umm…too much for us to handle.

Goes to Toby Slick

Toby Slick

I wanted money man…I had my NEEDS man. I mean, I stayed friends with Mark, and it was a lot of money keeping my house stocked with soap for him to bask in. In a sense, it WAS his fault.

Goes to Mark Petroleum

Mark Petroleum

I hated them all, I wanted to destroy them all, even if it took one soap bottle at a time.

Announcer

After a while, it got too much for everyone, and they decided that it was time to permanently….hold on let me turn the page….get rid of him.

(screen goes black)

(end)

 

Pablo and Georges

Soup Nazi: Hi, I’m Pablo Picasso. I like to do art stuff and….draw…and paint in cubed drawing. Whee! I’m Spanish.

stimpyismyname: hello, I’m Pablo’s friend Georges Braque. I’m Spanish, too. I like to draw and paint, so maybe you should like our paintings. Let’s get some customer feedback.

davepoobond: these paintings are pieces of crap! But I love’m all!

Sara: yes, these are so bad, they’re good

Lisa: these paintings are very popular and you can’t even make out what they are drawing!

Soup Nazi: I’m such a great artist, aren’t I, Georges?

stimpyismyname: yes, I am too.

Soup Nazi: no

stimpyismyname: yes

Soup Nazi: no

stimpyismyname: yes

Soup Nazi: no

stimpyismyname: yes

Soup Nazi: no

stimpyismyname: yes

Soup Nazi: no

stimpyismyname: yes

Soup Nazi: no

stimpyismyname: yes

Soup Nazi: no

stimpyismyname: yes

Soup Nazi: no

stimpyismyname: yes

Soup Nazi: no

stimpyismyname: yes

Soup Nazi: no

stimpyismyname: yes

(end)

 

A KKK Story

i made this thing for a skit that we were doing in school about this subject. of course, all the juicy parts were cut out and made into a 30 sec piece in a skit that really fuckin sucked because it was cut

Characters:

mother

daughter

KKK guy

KKK guy 2

KKK guy 3

KKK guy 4

(the mom is just standing in the middle of the room staring at a wall)

(daughter comes in yelling)

daughter (yelling): mommy, mommy! i’m home from school!

mother: yay!!!!!!!!!!!!

(the mother and daughter run around the room 2 times)

mother: what did you learn today in school, daughter?!?!?!!?!?!

daughter: we learned about a time period called Reconstruction, which took place after the Civil War!

mother: oh, that’s nice!!!

daughter: YEAH!!

(daughter and mother run around the room again)

mother: whee!!!

daughter: mommy, what is the KKK?

(mother gasps and grabs daughter by the shoulders and pins her to the wall)

mother: never speak those 3 letters in this house again!

daughter: but it was only 1 letter 3 times!

mother: glah glah glah! the KKK is a very bad thing! they beat people down just because of their race, because after the Civil War, they opposed Reconstruction! They joined the Democratic party! Do you see what i mean???

daughter: yeah!

(outside, 4 KKK guys are parading on the sidewalk cheering the same thing over and over)

KKK guy: boo!

KKK guy 2: Bill Clinton forever!

KKK guy 3: whee!!

KKK guy 4: down with Reconstruction!

(inside)

mother: oh nooo!!!! they’ve come!

daughter (yelling at KKK guys): wasn’t Reconstruction over a hundred years ago?

KKK guy 4: ….OOPS! uh…BEAT HER DOWN, NOW!!!!!!!

KKK guys: gggggggglllllllllllaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

(KKK guys run at daughter and daughter falls)

mother: nooo!! leave my daughter alone!

KKK guy 2: NO! we like kicking people in the head until they bleed! she hasn’t started bleeding yet, so we can’t stop!

KKK guy: this is fun!

KKK guy 3: whee!!! KICK! KICK! KICK!

(daughter screams)

daughter: ouch! stop it you meanies!

KKK guy (thinking for a few seconds): hmm…no

mother: aggghhhh!! help! help!

(mother runs around the room a couple times)

KKK guy: hey! this is getting boring, lets go to a 7 11 and beat some Pepsis and cream sodas out of guys over there!!!

KKK guys: YEAH!!!!

(KKK guys run out)

mother (going over to daughter): do you see now? They beat people up for no reason!

daughter: oh…i didn’t understand that until i got beaten…

mother: YAY! you’ve learned!

(mother and daughter run around the room screaming and laughing)

(end)