Tag Archives: butter

Bitch Slap or Pimp Smack?

I have a question… Whats the difference between a bitch slap and a pimp smack? I mean if you bitch slap a person that means your slapping them cause they’re a bitch right?… Well if you pimp smack someone then your slapping them because they’re a bitch.. This is one of those questions that will go down as the greats.. right around… “Is I cannot belive its not butter.. butter actually in disguise?…”

19 Things To Do In The Bathroom

Ways to annoy your Public Bathroom Stallmate-

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,”May I borrow a highlighter?”

2. Say “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.”

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise

4. Say, “Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.”

5. Drop a marble and say, “Oh sh**!! My glass eye!!”

6. Say “D***, this water is cold.”

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, “Now how did that get there?”

9. Say, “Humus. Reminds me of humus.”

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,”Whoa Easy boy !!”

11. Say,” Interesting….more sinkers than floaters”

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, “Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?

13. Say, “C’mon Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me!!

14. Say, “Boy, that sure looks like a maggot”

15. Say, “D***, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?”

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

17. Before you unroll toliet paper, conspicusly lay down your “Cross-Dressors Anonymous” newsletter on the floor visiable to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, “Peek-a-boo!”

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing “Born Free”

Books Never Written

– “Let’s Go to the Moon,” by Hugo First

– “An Everflown River,” by P.A. Little

– “The History of Song,” by Mike Roffone

– “Peanut Butter And Jelly: Noon Time Snacks From Around the World,” by Sam Wich

– “How Do You Spell ‘Kat?'” by Ima Dope

– “Speaking Spanish,” by Mell Amo

– “10 Easy Steps to Denial,” By Itwa Sentme

– “The Adventures of Sure-Locked Homes” – an anti-burglary booklet