The Outrageous Shark

Most of this was taken from a Johnny Bravo episode, cause I was stupid in 6th grade and thought it was so funny that I should recreate it in word form, in a less funny fashion…yeah…but the other half I made up…Remember, I made this in 1998, when I was in 6th grade…

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One day a shark was hungry, so he went on the beach and asked a mouthful…I mean a lot of people if they wanted to go swimming so he can eat them. But they said, “No way man!! You’re a shark!!” The shark thought, “Hmmmm, I gotta try a new approach.” So he put on a Richard Nixon mask that was big enough to cover someone’s face, but only covered the tip of his nose Then he went to another guy that just got slapped by his girlfriend. Let’s make that X-girlfriend.

The shark said,” Hey!!! Wanna go swimmin’?” Then the guy said,” Hey aren’t you a shark?” The shark said,” Um… no!! I’m Richard Nixon!!!” The guy said, “There are a bunch of teeny weeny bikini girls out there!! Why would I want to go swimming.” Then the shark said, “Well……” Then the guy said, “NO!!!” After that the shark went home disappointed. The foundation of his house was cracked. When he lounged on the floor it cracked some more and made a loud resounding noise through the house. Then he heard all the trout moving downstream in the river next door to his house. The surrounding noise that was resounding his house went over and over and over. The next morning the shark died of boredom and hunger. His house also fell on top of him.

The story you have just read is true. The names and places have been changed to protect the innocent.

 

Panzazz

Panzazz was a cute, pink, little fluffball from the happy-go-lucky forest. Panzazz was so pink and fluffy one look and you could die from its fluffiness! This made Panzazz very dangerous and was the main reason there weren’t any other animals in the Happy-go-lucky forest. Panzazz got very bored because of this because there were no friends to play with, not even other cute, pink, little fluffball animals. This, too, was all Panzazz’s fluffiness-state of being fluffy fault.

You see, if there are more than one cute, pink, little fluffballs in the same forest, fierce competition breaks out over one’s fluffiness. As a result of this, the cute, pink, little fluffballs tend to eat each other. This isn’t all that good for their species, but they were doomed to die out any way. Humans have ground them up into colored marshmallows for as long as anyone in my family can remember. Anyway…Panzazz was very lonely, so he decided to go over into the nearby town to find some friends. This is very bad because, as I mentioned before, cute, pink, little fluffballs are lethal. Panzazz bounced, or flew, or however cute, pink little fluffballs move over to the city. The effect was lethal and everyone died, the end.