Weather Report

Here is tomorrow’s weather report for Iraq and vicinity.  Early tomorrow a tit front will collide with a mass of hot cum moving from the north.  This means we can expect Blowing winds and occasional orgasms by late afternoon.  Wind velocity will be 69 mph and the high temperature should be around 98.6 degrees.  So, if you’re going out, you’d better wear a bra.

 

A Visit to the Observatory

Our class went on a field trip to a gay observatory.  It was located on top of a gay windmill, and it looked like a giant ball with a slit in its boob.  The slit was so the butts who run it could look out through the homo telescope.  We went inside and sat in a circle around the Sexomatic 5000 that was called a lover.  It projected light against the roof so that it looked just like thousands of fat loads of poo in the sky.  We all got to look through the 200-inch reflecting toilet and we could see many family jewels that were millions of dicks away.  The gaylords who work in the observatory are called astronomers, and they are always watching for comets and eclipses.  An eclipse occurs when the juice box comes between the earth and the asshole and everything gets horny.

 

Archery (A Story)

William Tell was a Swiss Freedom bunking who lived in the 15th century.  He was an expert with the bow and fruit and leader of a group of patriotic gaylords who fought against the Austrians.  The head Austrian was the tyrant Gessler, who was cruel, wicked and fruity.  In addition, he never washed his fruits.  Gessler was a real mother fucker.

One day Gessler caught William Tell and threatened to cut off his owl pellets unless he shot a banana off his son’s lesbian.  So William Tell took his trusty bow and put a long dick in it.  He fucked up the arrow into the air.  It missed his son’s fruits but hit Gessler right in the tit, causing him to cry out, “Fuck you!” And that’s how Gessler came to a gay end.

 

Meditation (MadLibs)

I have changed my whole life by becoming a disciple of the farts guru, Fatso.  Once a week we go to see the guru and sit around in a circle with our boobs crossed.  Then, while he combs his turd, we do sexy Meditation.  We meditate by making our farts blank and then we chant.  We all say “weewee turd.”  Or sometimes we chant “Nam ha-ha horrid butt.”  By doing this we achieve harmony with the asshole and inner peace and tranquility of the mommy.  If you have any corny problems, you can solve them all by trisexual Meditation.  Bu tdon’t overdo it, or you’ll end up in the bisexual asylum.

 

Bullfighting

Bullfighting is a sexy sport, which is very popular in dog pound. A bullfighter is called a matador, and his equipment consists of along, sharp boob called a uno, and a bright red dick.  He waves his cape at the bull, which makes the bull smart and causes him to charge.  The matador then goes through a series of sexy maneuvers to avoid getting caught on the bull’s dicks.

If the matador kills the bull, the spectators yell, “Dos!” and throw their butts into the ring.  If the bull wins, they yell, “Have sex with me!” and call for another matador.  Bullfighting is a very smart sport, but it will never be popular in America because Americans don’t believe in cruelty to shit.