Tag Archives: alcohol

Joke #5321

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They entered a bar and when the waitress came over they ordered some drinks.

A few minutes later they went to the bathroom and there was a woman sitting outside. The woman said “Beware of our new attraction, the mirror. If you tell the truth you will be rewarded with riches, but if you lie, you will be sucked into the mirror forever.”

So the redhead walks into the bathroom and up to the mirror and says “I think I am the most beautiful of us three.” She found herself holding the keys to a new really nice car.

Then the brunette goes to the mirror and says “I think I am the most talented of us three.”

Then the blonde goes up to the mirror and says “I think…” and was immedietly sucked into the mirror.

Joke #5292

A blind man enters a Ladies’ Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things …..

1 – The bartender is a blonde girl.

2 – The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3 – I’m a 6 feet tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4 – The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.

5 – The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, “Nah…Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

Joke #5202: Johnny’s Smoking

A guy’s walking down the street and sees Johnny smoking a cigarette. “Hey kid, you’re too young to smoke.”

Johnny looks up but says nothing.

“How old are you?”

“Six,” Johnny says.

“Six? When did you start smoking?”

“Right after the first time I got laid.”

“Right after the first time you got laid? When was that?”

Johnny says, “I don’t remember, I was drunk.”

loser

loser – n. any music store employee

;} anybody that smokes

;} any alcoholic

;} anybody that thinks somebody else is a loser just because that person makes less money

;} any liar or idiot (which is the same thing as a music store employee or alcoholic)

;} someone who totals their automobile while driving home from the bank after making the final car payment