#23304: Yonseixryu -> Soup Nazi

Yonseixryu: so it’s like the navy with the dont ask dont tell thinng

Yonseixryu: that’s gay

Soup Nazi: Nope

Yonseixryu: hahaha rofl

Yonseixryu: i just made a funny

Yonseixryu: ]lol rofl rofl rofl

Soup Nazi: Not really.

Yonseixryu: You’r not laughing

Yonseixryu: You’r not laughing

Yonseixryu: join in on the festivity

Yonseixryu: lol

Yonseixryu: lol

Yonseixryu: lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

Yonseixryu: lol with me

 

Joke #18702

While standing watch in the Coast Guard station in Juneau, Alaska, I got a call from the Navy in the nearby city of Adak. They had lost contact with one of their planes and needed the Coast Guard to send an aircraft to find it.

I asked the man where the Navy aircraft had last been spotted so we would know where to search.

“I can’t tell you,” the Navy man said. “That’s classified.”

 

Joke #18697

I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday morning when the loud-speaker announced:

“Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Discontinue all unnecessary work.”

An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our daily routine, was confirmed with this announcement:

“Resume all unnecessary work.”

 

Joke #18645

My father was extremely nervous about his first funeral service as a Navy chaplain, but the undertaker assured him that he would prompt him. All went well until, at the close, the undertaker whispered to him to instruct the family to come up and view the body.

“Will the family now come forward and pass around the bier,” said my father.

He cringed inwardly when he heard his own words. Later, as my father was leaving, he overheard two of the cemetery workers talking. “I didn’t get any beer,” one said. “Did you?”

“You heard the chaplain,” the other replied. “It was just for the family.”

 

Joke #18419

Aboard the USS TARAWA for six months, my brother Don posted a picture of his beloved truck in his locker.

Since his fellow Marines had pictures of their girlfriends posted, they often ridiculed him for his object of adoration.

“Laugh all you want,” Don told them, “At least my truck will still be there when I get home.”

 

Where was the U.S. Army, Navy and…

Where was the U.S. Army, Navy and Air Force during the Power Rangers movie?

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Joke #9262: Privates on Parade

Two generals, one from the Army, and one from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest.

To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: “Airman! Climb that flagpole, and once you are at the top, sing ‘Wild Blue Yonder’, and then jump off!”

“YES SIR!” replies the airman. He takes off for the flagpole like a shot, scales up it, sings the anthem, salutes and jumps off, hitting the ground at attention.

The general dismisses him. “Now that’s bravery!” exclaims the general.

“Bravery, nothing,” snorts the Army general. “Get over here, private!”

“YES SIR!!” replies the private.

“Put on full combat gear, load your rucksack with these rocks, scale that flagpole, come to attention, present arms, and sing the National Anthem, salute each of us, and then climb back down, head first.”

“YES SIR!!” replies the private, and completes the task.

“Now that is a brave man! Beat that!!”

They look to the Marine. “Private,” he says.

“YES SIR!!”

“Put on full combat gear. Put these two dogs in your pack. Using only one hand, climb that flagpole. At the top, sing ‘The Halls of Montezuma’, put your knife in your teeth, and dive off, headfirst.”

The private snaps to attention, looks at the general and says, “TO HELL WITH YOU SIR!!”

The general turns to the others and says, “Now THAT’S bravery!”