Space Attacks II (PC) Review

Developer: The GM Place

  Space Attacks II (PC) (879.3 KiB, 730 hits)

Game by The GM Place, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

Captain’s log, 0500. We’re going in a straight line now…with UFos, and about 3 other originally drawn ships coming our way. Also going in a straight line. And asteroids. Everywhere. They’re everywhere! Actually they aren’t, there’s only about 1 or 2 ships at a given time, and a random asteroid flying through every now and then.

Graphics:

The graphics are the same as the first one, but this time I saw a few ships that might’ve been original. Whoopeedoo. Doesn’t hide the fact that this game sucks.

Sound:

The same as the first one, annoying like my sister when she comes into my room asking if she can get a ride to one of her stupid friend’s house so they swim in a swimming pool all day.

Gameplay:

Same as the first one. This is probably the strong point of the game, knowing how to play.

Crappiest Part:

The crappiest part is the whole idea. Space Attacks is gay. It should be called Space Gay, cause that’s what it is. I know they’re transporting dildos to the alien’s homeworld who don’t fucking want human dildos. If they wanted dildos at all, they’d get their own species. They don’t want some long stick thing, they want a flat bumpy thing that you can slap, and waves like jello. Oh wait…I just found the story.

Story:

Killing Osama in the first Space attacks wasn’t enough. Saddam wants revenge, (yes, I am aware that the two are enemies). Fight off hoards of evil UFOs acting on Saddam’s behalf. Stop them before it’s too late… or after it’s too late, whatever’s good for you. Good luck…

what the hell is that?

Overall Score:

Yet again, another failure in the Space Attacks series. But this time around, when you die you don’t go to the credits screen. Hooray! And there’s also different difficulties, so I guess I have to give points for that. More like 1 point for all the improvements, that shouldn’t have been improvements but been in the first one already. 3/10.

  Space Attacks II (PC) (879.3 KiB, 730 hits)

Game by The GM Place, made with Game Maker.

 

Space Attacks (PC) Review

Developer: The GM Place

  Space Attacks (PC) (977.8 KiB, 685 hits)

Game by The GM Place, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

Captain’s log, 0500. OMFG UFOS!!!! HELP US HELP US! ASTEROIDS OH NOOOO!! SHOOT THEM DOWN WITH OUR STUPID LASERS THAT WE HAVE TO TIME JUST RIGHT BECAUSE THE UFOS JUST KEEP GOING BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THE SCREEN AND SHOOT AT THE SAME TIME!

Graphics:

You just know the graphics are ripped sprites. This was probably made off the 1942 example that is given with Game Maker, too.

Sound:

Annoying as fuck. I had to turn my speakers off because that shit was just so annoying.

Gameplay:

Its simple. You press left and right to dodge the pink circles coming out from the spinning UFOs and space to fire your dinky little laser cannon piece of shit thing and hope that it’ll hit one of them. And as if it wasn’t hard enough, once you get past the first level, guess what? There’s another level! I only got there once, but it was just more of the same shit. Except one plane that looked like it might have been original.

Crappiest Part:

The crappiest part is the stupidity and hardness that somehow are rolled into each other to create this game. Its hard and stupid, and this is a game that no one will like to play. This is the story: Earth is under threat from evil UFOs controlled by members of the Al Quaida terrorist network on the planet, Mars. You must stop them using any means necessary, you are Earth’s last hope, well, actually we have two more of you lined up but you know how it is. Go and kill them!

Overall Score:

A game with a name called Space Attacks doesn’t have very much appeal to give out in the first place. Because its a stupid name, as well. Space isn’t attacking in this game, just some dumb aliens that feel that the large shipment of dildos in the space shuttle shouldn’t get to their home planet because humans are disgusting in that nature. And another annoying thing that happened, was when you died, it went back to the credits screen. When you start up the game, it goes to the credits screen. And you have to press the “main menu” button to go to the main menu each fucking time. 2/10.

  Space Attacks (PC) (977.8 KiB, 685 hits)

Game by The GM Place, made with Game Maker.

 

Duck Hunter, The (PC) Review

Developer: The GM Place

  The Duck Hunter (PC) (1,002.1 KiB, 584 hits)

Game by The GM Place, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

Welcome to Adventurous Dave’s Duck Shooting Show. In this show, you will see things that you should not see, like birds that aren’t even ducks getting shot. Ok forget the show idea. There really isn’t one duck in this game. What kind of a game called Duck Hunter doesn’t have a duck in it?

Graphics:

They were all ripped from somewhere. Was that Tweety I just saw there?

Sound:

Uhh this game is stupid, the sound doesn’t help it at all.

Gameplay:

Really bad. When you click one of the goddam birds it doesn’t die most of the time.

Crappiest Part:

The crappiest part is the name. It disgraced the name Duck Hunt, by putting an “er” on the end and put all these birds that aren’t ducks in it. And there’s even clocks flying through the air. What genius thought that shit up? “Hey, let’s have a game, where a bunch of different birds, no ducks though, and clocks are flying through the air, and you have to point and click to shoot them, but half the time, you don’t kill them when you should have. Let’s name it Duck Hunter.” Yeah, great idea.

Overall Score:

This is a horrible game. Not much else to say about it. 1/10.

  The Duck Hunter (PC) (1,002.1 KiB, 584 hits)

Game by The GM Place, made with Game Maker.