Joke #21018: Voodoo Dick

A guy goes on vacation, and finds a rare an exotic porn shop. He goes in and asks the clerk if he has anything special that he could give to his wife.

The guys says that he has a “voodoo dick” which is a one of a kind dildo that fucks whatever you tell it to on demand. The buyer doesn’t believe him and asks for a demonstration. The clerk says, “voodoo dick the door” and the dildo immediately humps the door so vigorously that it falls down. The guy agrees to buy it for a tidy sum, and the clerk tells him to remember that the only way to get it to stop is to say “voodoo dick off.”

So the guy brings it home and his wife is thrilled. The next day while he’s at work, she quickly gets it out and says, “voodoo dick my pussy”. After an hour of this, she has to get ready for work, but she can’t remember how to turn it off, so she tries to drive to her husbands work with the voodoo dick in her.

Unfortunately, she can’t drive like this and swerves all over the road. Eventually, a cop pulls her over and asks what the problem is. She scream, “I can’t get this voodoo dick to stop humping me!”

And the police officer quickly responds, “voodoo dick my ass.”

 

#10919: SR71 Steve -> Daedric Lord 666

Alright, i have a cooperation betweeen dan and he. I pick out some fool at random. Dan’s IM is basically dan trying to hit on him. Here’s my side.

SR71 Steve: 😀

SR71 Steve: 😀

Daedric Lord 666: hey

SR71 Steve: 😀

Daedric Lord 666: whoz dis?

SR71 Steve: 😀

Daedric Lord 666: ????????????

SR71 Steve: :-\

Daedric Lord 666: O_o??????????

SR71 Steve: >

Daedric Lord 666: ?????????????

SR71 Steve: i like pie

SR71 Steve: and i’m a pimp

Daedric Lord 666: ooo u

SR71 Steve: CHILDREN’D!

Daedric Lord 666: ???

Daedric Lord 666: who r u again?

SR71 Steve: spawn of satan

SR71 Steve: who are you?

SR71 Steve: the real slim shady?

Daedric Lord 666: sweet

Daedric Lord 666: and I’m a G-UNIT soldier

SR71 Steve: G-unit!

SR71 Steve: roflmao

SR71 Steve: G-units are the bitches of F units

SR71 Steve: lol

SR71 Steve: stupid g units

Daedric Lord 666: whaa??

SR71 Steve: Do my laundry bitch

SR71 Steve: your my bitch G unit

Daedric Lord 666: hell no

SR71 Steve: ARROWED!

SR71 Steve: POSSUMS!

Daedric Lord 666: tell my other bitches that

Daedric Lord 666: they’ll do ur shit

SR71 Steve: you have fucking H unit for bitches

SR71 Steve: H unit isn’t worth crap

SR71 Steve: I AM ALL THAT IS MAN!

Daedric Lord 666: who the hell are u?

SR71 Steve: spawn of satan

SR71 Steve: fucktard

SR71 Steve: i gusse it’s a G unit thing

SR71 Steve: Hi

Daedric Lord 666: how in hell did u got my sn?

SR71 Steve: Daddy gave it too me

Daedric Lord 666: who>>> ur daddy????

Daedric Lord 666: weird

SR71 Steve: think about it

SR71 Steve: shithead

SR71 Steve: SPAWN of satan

SR71 Steve: thessse G-units

SR71 Steve: think they’re all tough

SR71 Steve: but then they meet a possum

SR71 Steve: or get arrowed

SR71 Steve: seriously, blue meatloaf is the shit

SR71 Steve: hi

SR71 Steve: my homosexual friend says you’re hitting on him

SR71 Steve: is that how it goes with you G units?

SR71 Steve: hi

SR71 Steve: hi

SR71 Steve: hi

SR71 Steve: hi

SR71 Steve: hi

SR71 Steve: hi

SR71 Steve: hi

SR71 Steve: hi

SR71 Steve: hi

SR71 Steve: are you the real slim shady?

SR71 Steve: cuz my dad thinks he’s the shit

Daedric Lord 666:

Charger979: wanna cyber anyways?

Daedric Lord 666: hell no!

Charger979: ….you dissapoint me

Charger979: come on, it’ll be fun

Daedric Lord 666: hell no

Charger979: Is that all you say?

Charger979: either way, it turns me on

Daedric Lord 666: o god

Charger979: come on man

Charger979: you start

Daedric Lord 666: hell no!

SR71 Steve: STOP HITTING ON HIM!!!!!!!!

SR71 Steve: he;’s too good for G unit

SR71 Steve: fucktard

Daedric Lord 666: then u go and fuck him

SR71 Steve: I don’t go that way

SR71 Steve: homophobe

SR71 Steve: your going to hell dude

SR71 Steve: and hell is bad

Daedric Lord 666: hell is good

SR71 Steve: yeah, if your the spawn of satan

SR71 Steve: if you’re just some crappy G unit, it sucks

SR71 Steve: DUDE! LEAVE MY FUCKING FRIEND ALONE STOP COMING ON TO HIM

Daedric Lord 666: slim shady sucks

SR71 Steve: damn, that’s another pineapple up the ass from daddy

SR71 Steve: and quit raggin on mexicans

Daedric Lord 666: what???

SR71 Steve: i know why you won’t cyber with my friend

SR71 Steve: it’s cuz he;s mexican

SR71 Steve: racisit bastard

Daedric Lord 666: I’m not gay!!!

SR71 Steve: ;-)suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure;-)

SR71 Steve: and quit trying to shit behind my back

Daedric Lord 666: IT’S TURE!!!!!!!!!!!!> !!!!!!!!!!!!!

SR71 Steve: i know what your IMing him

Daedric Lord 666: Thats it I gonna get the other G-Unit soldiers to kick ur gay ass!

SR71 Steve: I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DIGI DEUL!!!!

SR71 Steve: G unit sucks

SR71 Steve: literally

SR71 Steve: my friend knows

SR71 Steve: so what about that digiduel

SR71 Steve: http://i_own_you_fucking_G_unit.net/fuckfaceisgay.html

 

#10573: SR71 Steve -> davepoobond

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: bye

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

SR71 Steve: i bid thee farewell

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: i thank you for your kind greeting!

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: GO TO HELL YOU MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD!!!!!!!!!

SR71 Steve: erm

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHINGGGGGG

davepoobond: JUST TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS

davepoobond: TRY TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

SR71 Steve: for a kondike bar!

davepoobond: SOMEHOW I CANT PUT YOU IN THE PAST

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHINNGGG

davepoobond: JUST TO FALL ASLEEP WITH YOU

davepoobond: WILL YOU REMEMBER ME?

SR71 Steve: Kill yourself

davepoobond: CAUSE I KNOW I WONT FORGET YOUUUUUU

SR71 Steve: no

davepoobond: TOGETHER WE BROKE ALL THE RULES

SR71 Steve: who the hell r u?

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: DREAMING OF DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL

davepoobond: dadadada

davepoobond: I’LL BE HERE I’LL BE WAITING

davepoobond: THIS COULD BE THE ONE LAST CHANCE TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND

SR71 Steve: ummmmm bacon is cool

SR71 Steve: unlike your mom

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHINGGGGG FOR YOU

davepoobond: TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS

SR71 Steve: oh, u go skoolled

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTTHINNGGG FOR YOU

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: JUST TO FALL ASLEEP WITH YOU

davepoobond: i close my eyes

davepoobond: and all i see is you

davepoobond: i close my eyesss

davepoobond: i try to sleep i cant forget you

davepoobond: na na na na na na

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: and i’d do anythiNGGGgg for youuuu

davepoobond: nanananaaaaaaaaa

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

davepoobond: JUST TO HOLD IN YOU IN MY ARMS

davepoobond: TRY TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

davepoobond: CAUSE SOMEHOW I CANT PUT YOU IN THE PAST

davepoobond: I’D DO ANYTHINGGGGG

SR71 Steve: meatloaf is the food of gods

davepoobond: JUST TO FALL ASLEEP WITH YOUUUUUUU

davepoobond: YEAHHHH

SR71 Steve: ok, i go bye now

SR71 Steve: off the overthrow the prince of fruitloops

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: bye

SR71 Steve: getings and salutations my good friend!

davepoobond: 😀

Previous message was not received by SR71 Steve because of error: User SR71 Steve is not available.

 

#10559: SR71 Steve -> davepoobond

SR71 Steve: hello

davepoobond: hi

SR71 Steve: are you the real slim shady

SR71 Steve: ?

davepoobond: sure

SR71 Steve: then say something slim shadyish

davepoobond: yo i’m slim shady no i’m not the real slim shady

SR71 Steve: the REAL slim shday wouldn’t say that

SR71 Steve: damn it

davepoobond: sorry

SR71 Steve: my search continues

davepoobond: ok good

SR71 Steve: remember, it is imparitive that the cherro fruit loop allaince NOT losse the milk front to the chex invaders

davepoobond: i’ll keep that in mind

davepoobond: the roof. the roof is on fire.

SR71 Steve: no

SR71 Steve: noo

SR71 Steve: it’s that damn lephachans work again

davepoobond: but today is valentine’s day

davepoobond: why would they do that

SR71 Steve: we’ll get his lucky charms irrelgales

davepoobond: they’re in their leprachan beds jacking off now

SR71 Steve: good, a chanse to infiltrate

SR71 Steve: try and get the 4 leaf clovers

SR71 Steve: the rainbows

SR71 Steve: and if possible the pots of gold

SR71 Steve: leave all non marshmellows

SR71 Steve: they’re not our concern

davepoobond: of course.

SR71 Steve: What is the current position of the Trix rabbit?

davepoobond: half way between gay and child molestor

SR71 Steve: ah of corse

SR71 Steve: and delsuion

SR71 Steve: he thinks he can just get Trix

SR71 Steve: but he doesn’t really WANT them

SR71 Steve: he need to make the kids feel his WANT

SR71 Steve: and not in the way he usualy does itd

 

#10340: davepoobond -> stimpyismyname

davepoobond: boo

stimpyismyname: have fun

davepoobond: ?

davepoobond: stick that finger in deep

stimpyismyname: eww

davepoobond: where should i send your $79 bottle of lotion?

davepoobond: http://.org/dance.swf

davepoobond: go its funny

stimpyismyname: that turns you on, eh?

stimpyismyname: fuckin homo

davepoobond: lol no

davepoobond: someone gave it to me

stimpyismyname: i’m gonna show your mom

davepoobond: i got youuuuuuuuuu

stimpyismyname: im gonna call right now

davepoobond: fine

davepoobond: do it

davepoobond: assmunch

davepoobond: what the hell

stimpyismyname: what

stimpyismyname: did something happen

davepoobond: i KNOW that was you

davepoobond: i have caller ID

davepoobond: DUMBASS

stimpyismyname: what was me?

stimpyismyname: huh?

stimpyismyname: you like men?

stimpyismyname: you like to see assholes?

stimpyismyname: really?

davepoobond: ur mom likes to see assholes

stimpyismyname: youre gay?

stimpyismyname: im gonna make a special update for you on christophersoft

davepoobond: u better not

stimpyismyname: ha

davepoobond: i’ll make one for you

davepoobond: which MORE people will see

stimpyismyname: ur the gayass

davepoobond: no i’m not

stimpyismyname: not me

davepoobond: hey hey, you tried showing me that same picture a long time ago

davepoobond: thats the goatse picture, remember

stimpyismyname: no

davepoobond: yeah that was

stimpyismyname: u showed it to me

davepoobond: no i didnt

davepoobond: johnny did

stimpyismyname: eh, whatever

stimpyismyname: you went back

davepoobond: what do you mean went back

davepoobond: show it to Blind Bubba
stimpyismyname: why dont you show it during buttsex

davepoobond: why dont you show it during your buttbuddiness with SR71 Steve

davepoobond: he wants you

stimpyismyname: ur stupid

stimpyismyname: hes gay

stimpyismyname: u probly cyber with him

davepoobond: ur mom probably does

davepoobond: he’s the man

stimpyismyname: fuckin fagget

stimpyismyname: shut the hell up

davepoobond: jo mana

 

#8592: SR71 Steve -> mm4526

SR71 Steve: isn’t nicole hot?

mm4526: YES…Yes she is

SR71 Steve: damn u

SR71 Steve: get ur hands off my bitch

mm4526: Damn u u Gary Coleman hater

mm4526: GARY COLEMAN

SR71 Steve: U saying ur a pony fucker?

mm4526: STop spazzin

mm4526: gee

SR71 Steve: meatloaf

mm4526: my keyboard isnt as saucy as yours

SR71 Steve: blue

mm4526: doo da da dada deh

mm4526: ther coming from u

mm4526: for u*

SR71 Steve: so

SR71 Steve: i have the power of chesse

mm4526: by the time u get that itll be to late

mm4526: ill already be gone

mm4526: to…

SR71 Steve: damn u clark kent!

mm4526: Sweet Home Alabama

mm4526: Yes…Clark Kent

SR71 Steve: so u R the real slim shady

SR71 Steve: !

mm4526: no im not

mm4526: gee

mm4526: dont talk about those apples

SR71 Steve: damn

SR71 Steve: my search continues

SR71 Steve: farwell

 

#8591: SR71 Steve -> AndiliciousMe

SR71 Steve: aa

AndiliciousMe: who is this

SR71 Steve: bob

SR71 Steve: who r u?

AndiliciousMe: how did u ghet me sn

AndiliciousMe: my*

SR71 Steve: from the ghetto

SR71 Steve: how did u get MY sn?

AndiliciousMe: u imed me

AndiliciousMe: who is this

SR71 Steve: ur liying bitch

AndiliciousMe: who the fuck is this

SR71 Steve: BOB GOD DAMN IT!

SR71 Steve: WHO THE HELL R U!?

AndiliciousMe: bob who

SR71 Steve: What’s it to ya

AndiliciousMe: wat skool do u go 2

SR71 Steve: Sunrise

AndiliciousMe: this is daniels friend

SR71 Steve: uh no

AndiliciousMe: bye

SR71 Steve: ok then

AndiliciousMe: ur gay

SR71 Steve: nope, lesbian

AndiliciousMe signed off at 5:10:51 PM.

 

#8590: SR71 Steve -> Smileygrl12GHS

SR71 Steve: hi low

Smileygrl12GHS: hi

SR71 Steve: me annoy u now

SR71 Steve: okies?

Smileygrl12GHS: okkk

SR71 Steve: blue

SR71 Steve: meatloaf

SR71 Steve: aeiou and sometimes y

SR71 Steve: ok, i’m done

Smileygrl12GHS: good

Smileygrl12GHS: pic

Smileygrl12GHS: ? ?

SR71 Steve: u now what

SR71 Steve: i perfer making no sense and bothering u

SR71 Steve: so in that case

SR71 Steve: i have thubs

SR71 Steve: tumbs

SR71 Steve: thumbs

Smileygrl12GHS: asl

SR71 Steve: 483.67/depends/all of the above

Smileygrl12GHS: a/s/l

SR71 Steve: ur mon/cuz/lamp

Smileygrl12GHS: what

SR71 Steve: xatly

Smileygrl12GHS: how old are u

SR71 Steve: chair

SR71 Steve: see how much funner stupidity is?

Smileygrl12GHS: ok whatever bye

SR71 Steve: NOOOOOOOOOOO

SR71 Steve: I must kknow

SR71 Steve: r u the real slim shady?

 

#8552: SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u -> SR71 Steve

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: huh?

SR71 Steve: DON’T TALK SHIT!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: about who?

SR71 Steve: You know who…….

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: no i dont!!

SR71 Steve: …..Jeez, are you like high?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: no

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: i jsut have no clue wha ur talking bout

SR71 Steve: Cause i think it’s pretty obvious what i’m talkin about

SR71 Steve: stoned?

SR71 Steve: drunk?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: no im not a druggie?

SR71 Steve: just plain stupid?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: no im not drunk

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: where da hell r u from

SR71 Steve: Mexico.

SR71 Steve: Mine english is no so good, so exuse please.

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: oh

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: yea ok

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: who is this

SR71 Steve: Juan.

SR71 Steve: who the hell are you?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: no one but wha r u talking bout

SR71 Steve: Andrew.

SR71 Steve: He’s a racist sonofabitch.

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: andrew…ten y ya sn say steve?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: wait!!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: stop ur confusing me

SR71 Steve: cause my boyfriends name is steven

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: i htought u were juan!!!

SR71 Steve: the white devil could never understand the complex mind of a mexican.

SR71 Steve: I am

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: ur gay?

SR71 Steve: your friend andrew was racist to me, and i want an apology

SR71 Steve: and if i am?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: wait andrew who?

SR71 Steve: the racist bastard that IMed me yesterday.

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: umm i kno 4 andrews a last name would help

SR71 Steve: I’m asking all of the people in his profile why he’s such a racist bastard

SR71 Steve: he does give good head tho

SR71 Steve: not as good as steve, but ya know

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: wait r u a guy?

SR71 Steve: and if i am?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: idk im owndering

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: but whas this “andrew”s sn?

SR71 Steve: I can’t be bothered to remember

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: yea ok!!

SR71 Steve: you’re not answering my question

SR71 Steve: i gusse all his friends are racist homophobes as well

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: wha ?

SR71 Steve: ………why is andrew such a racist bastard?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: adrew who

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: andrew*

SR71 Steve: i dunno, i try to forget the names of racist bastards so i don’t send my homies to pop a cap in thier ass

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: oh then i cant help ya

SR71 Steve: racist

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: im not racist

SR71 Steve: always tryin to rape my woman

SR71 Steve: and pillage my sheep

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: i htought u were gay

SR71 Steve: so did i, but then i met jessica

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: ok

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: where jessica from

SR71 Steve: but then you’re racist friend andrew raped her and pillaged her sheep

SR71 Steve: iowa

SR71 Steve: just like me

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: iowa has farms?

SR71 Steve: yeah it does

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: U SAID UR FROM MEXICO!!!

SR71 Steve: yeah, originaly

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: wow!! im so confused!!

SR71 Steve: is it agaisnt the law to move without telling the governmet or something?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: no

SR71 Steve: most white devil’s are

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: but ur confusing me shitless

SR71 Steve: how can that be? white devils are made of shit.

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: im white?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: i mean im a devil?

SR71 Steve: as are all you white devils who rape my woman

SR71 Steve: greedy bastards, can’t just settle for white pussy.

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: i dont like woman

SR71 Steve: so you’re gay too?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: no im a girl ‘n i like boys

SR71 Steve: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!

SR71 Steve: you’re a girl?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: yea

SR71 Steve: no fucking way

SR71 Steve: you’re so masculine

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: u live in iowa how da fuck do u kno who i am

SR71 Steve: i used to live in iowa

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: stoop hcanging ya story!!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: wha do i look like?!!

SR71 Steve: i’m not changing my story

SR71 Steve: i used to be gay untill jessica, altho i did like getttin head for andrew

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: wha do i like look?

SR71 Steve: i was born in mexico, moved to iowa where my wife was raped

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: how old r u?

SR71 Steve: then moved to whereever the hell it is i am now

SR71 Steve: i’m too damn high to realize waht the fuck is going on

SR71 Steve: 12

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: ‘n u had a wife!!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: gosh u r really wqeird

SR71 Steve: least i’m not a white devil

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: whos a white devil

SR71 Steve: and i don’t use bullshit words like wqeird

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: oh weird**

SR71 Steve: what the fuck does wqeird mean anyways?

SR71 Steve: yeah, it is weird that you’d use a bullshit word like that

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: thanx

SR71 Steve: jesus, you are too fucking odd

——————————————————————————–

Auto response from SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: omg im so confsued!!! call
me 7950384

-xo-

——————————————————————————–

SR71 Steve: stupid bitch, there’s nothing to be confused about

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: who u r

SR71 Steve: juan

SR71 Steve: i thought we went over this

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: i kno but andrew who

SR71 Steve: my name isn’t andrew

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: i kno

SR71 Steve: britany, you stupid slut

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: britany? who britany?

SR71 Steve: that’s what you said you name was

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: no i nvr told u my name!!

SR71 Steve: yeah you did

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: WHO IS ANDREW THAT HAS GIVEN U HEAD?!

SR71 Steve: SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: my name is britany

SR71 Steve: don’t you fucking remember that?\

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: yea ok!!

SR71 Steve: or were you lying?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: if my name was britany then y da fuck is my sn

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: so now you’re a lying racist homophobe white bastard

SR71 Steve: figured it was your gf

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: im straight!!!

SR71 Steve: it’s common in mexico to name you’re sn after your loved one

SR71 Steve: suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: im not from mexico

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: so y da hell would i do that?

SR71 Steve: i dunno, people named britany are pretty damn stupid most of the time

SR71 Steve: and you’re proving the theory

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: my name is alexis, my nickname is lexi, everyone calls me lexi, no my name isnt britany

SR71 Steve: then why the fuck did you lie to me?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: i didnt!!

SR71 Steve: bullshit

SR71 Steve: SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: my name is britany

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: thats bullshit!!

SR71 Steve: hey, are you as turned on as i am?

SR71 Steve: YOU’RE BULLSHIT!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: im really confused if thats wha u mean by turned on!!

SR71 Steve: are you aroused like i am?

SR71 Steve: my pussy is so wet

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: u have a pussy ‘n ur a guy

SR71 Steve: since when?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: u said ur a guy

SR71 Steve: nope

SR71 Steve: i siad i was gay and had boyfriends

SR71 Steve: got a problem with it?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: u siad ur juan, gay mesn u like guys!! so ur a guy!!!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: then u just said somehting bout ur pussy, WHEN UR A GUY

SR71 Steve: juan is a nickname

SR71 Steve: just like lexi is

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: sure it is

SR71 Steve: short for jaunita

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: no its not!!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: thats bullshit!!

SR71 Steve: i’m the butch in the relationship

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: ok so who is ur boyfriend

SR71 Steve: John.

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: no u said steve!!!

SR71 Steve: yeah, he’s just a little side thing

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: omg!!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: ur terrible

SR71 Steve: no, just a slut like yourself

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: how am i a slut

SR71 Steve: but back to the issue, is your dick as hard as mine is right now?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: u jsut said u had a pussy

SR71 Steve: no i didn’t

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: ‘n no i dont have a dick

SR71 Steve: you can’t prove shit

SR71 Steve: ………..sure

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: SR71 Steve: my pussy is so wet

SR71 Steve: you made that up!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: no

SR71 Steve: bitch!

SR71 Steve: whore

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: im not a bitch!!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: stop!!

SR71 Steve: oh man, my nipples are gettin hard.

——————————————————————————–

Auto response from SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: im gonne kill someone if
this is his friend!!

——————————————————————————–

SR71 Steve: this is so damn sexy

SR71 Steve: this is so damn sexy

SR71 Steve: fine then, be a bitch

SR71 Steve: oh yeah, you like getting warned don’t you bitch!

SR71 Steve: it just turns you on!

SR71 Steve: hey now, no need for that!

SR71 Steve: the fuck did i do to you?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: wha did i do to

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: u

SR71 Steve: you wouldn’t answer my damn question

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: wha question

SR71 Steve: and called me a guy when i’m a girl

SR71 Steve: that hurts

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: im sorry

SR71 Steve: why anderw was such a racist bastard

SR71 Steve: eat me to make up for it

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: idk y he is

SR71 Steve: well i do

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: y is he

SR71 Steve: that’s what i’m asking?

SR71 Steve: this is going nowhere, you obviously are just another prude racist lying white devil whosse only skill is sucking cock

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: hoiw can i b prude if i suck cock?

SR71 Steve: good point

SR71 Steve: alright, in any case i’m done fucking you

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: who r u?

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: can u tell me now?

SR71 Steve: andrew

SR71 Steve:

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: andrew….

SR71 Steve: to bad you didn’t defend me, now i think you’re a bitch

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: OMG IM ONNE KILL U!!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: idk wha andrew u were talking bout!!!

SR71 Steve: i am andrew

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: i kno

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: but i kno 4 andrews os i didnt kno wha andrew was being “racist sonofabitch”

SR71 Steve: me, i was trying to get you to defend me

SR71 Steve: you obviously didn;t

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: if i knew wha andrew i would of stuck up 4 u!!!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: IM SORRY!!

SR71 Steve: sorry isn’t good enogh!

SeXiELeXi2FiNe4u: lol

 

#8546: SR71 Steve -> Charger979

SR71 Steve: ajnin

Charger979: .did uoy neht tcerroc erom yaw tog I

SR71 Steve: asubayah

Charger979: !sdrawkcab emosewa si ajniN

SR71 Steve: deedni

SR71 Steve: ciscelsyd leef i

SR71 Steve: dab gnorst

Charger979: .gniddik on

Charger979: .norom dab gnorts did ydaerla I

SR71 Steve: .edoc sa siht esu dluohs ew, edud

SR71 Steve: !ufts

Charger979: .evlos ot drah taht ton s’it tub ,os yas uoy fI

Charger979: !ufts ot em llet uoy t’noD

SR71 Steve: ndrah gnikool yllear tuohtiw ti dear dluoc eno on

Charger979: .opyt ecin

SR71 Steve: hctib, eid dna ffo kcuf

Charger979: .sknaht oN

SR71 Steve: ?idiuqs htiw pu gnipeek neeb uoy

Charger979: .yllautca evah I ,haeY

SR71 Steve: kcab emac trebuh

SR71 Steve: tihs eht s’eh

Charger979: .edosipe eht yb remosewa gnitteg s’tI

SR71 Steve: yratnemmoc wen a did neve eh dna, heay

Charger979: .norom oga sedosipe 005 ,ekil s’tath ,tihs oN

Charger979: .oot kcab si knurd ehT

Charger979: .krowemoh ym od og ot deen I ,llew hA

SR71 Steve: knurd eht SI trebuh!

SR71 Steve: rehteh fo nikniht er’ouy

Charger979: .gniht emas ,rethceh trebuH

SR71 Steve: eurt

Charger979: .erew uoy emit emas eht taht gnipyt saw I ,wonk I heaY

SR71 Steve: oht kcab mixam tnaw i

Charger979: ?t’nsoed ohW

SR71 Steve: stoidi

SR71 Steve: emosewa os si siht, nam

Charger979: .og attog I dab oot ,gniddik oN

SR71 Steve: retal

Charger979: .retal

 

Extreme Baseball – Rules

Materials: Baseball Bat, Pinecones, protective gear (optional)

# of Players: at least 4, works best with 8

What You Do:

1. One person is the batter, one of the other players pitches the pinecone

2. The batter hits the Pinecone, if they miss, the next person is up.

3. If they hit it scoring goes like this-

Caught by fielder: negative 5

Lands on ground – 0

Outta backyard – 1

limb shot – 3

chest shot – 5

head shot – 10

crotch shot – 20

KO – 30

death – 50

4. If you hit multiple people, you multiply the scores (e.g., a head and a crotch is 200) .  You play until all players are dead, KOed, or until no one can move.

5. The winner is who can move the best the next day. Points bare zero significance.

Boundaries: backyard or small room