Ireland: Status Quo for Ireland

Note: This is a debate about whether or not reforming Ireland in the 1800s would be good or not.

By davepoobond:

Ireland will stay the same when it comes to the British. Irish hate British. Irish don’t like the British because they tried to rule over them, but they don’t like that. Crumpets and tea – no way! The Irish don’t like anything about the British, no sir.  Fish and chips – yeah, right.

The Irish like to fight, so therefore they fight the British. British don’t like the color green so they fight the Irish. Irish don’t like Scottish because they’re on different islands.

The Irish like to drink magnificent amounts of alcohol, having boxing matches with farm animals, the first Irish war started when an Irishman blew up on a hot air balloon, and boxed it for 3 hours straight.

By Soup Nazi:

Dave and I are for the reform of Ireland. Anglican churches were using Irish money to support themselves. This wan an unorthodox and a poor way to flourish, even for a church in our minds.

This is also towards the landlords. They charged their tenants unfairly with outrageous rents. The reform protected them, and the land they worked on.

Overall the reform ensured no one abused their power, we feel that many abuse their power enough.

 

#23304: Yonseixryu -> Soup Nazi

Yonseixryu: so it’s like the navy with the dont ask dont tell thinng

Yonseixryu: that’s gay

Soup Nazi: Nope

Yonseixryu: hahaha rofl

Yonseixryu: i just made a funny

Yonseixryu: ]lol rofl rofl rofl

Soup Nazi: Not really.

Yonseixryu: You’r not laughing

Yonseixryu: You’r not laughing

Yonseixryu: join in on the festivity

Yonseixryu: lol

Yonseixryu: lol

Yonseixryu: lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

Yonseixryu: lol with me

 

#23303: davepoobond -> Soup Nazi

davepoobond: 7_0

Soup Nazi: Anime face

Soup Nazi: fucker

davepoobond: =)

davepoobond: that was actually in a url

Soup Nazi: this is the best face ever

davepoobond: it looked like a face

Soup Nazi: get ready, it’s pretty awsome

davepoobond: U_U

Soup Nazi: >:|

Soup Nazi: This should be a recognized AOL smile >:| because it’s awsome

Soup Nazi is away at 11:31 AM

 

#23301: Yonseixryu -> Soup Nazi

Yonseixryu: I finally found it

Yonseixryu: I found the shoe tree

Yonseixryu: it

Soup Nazi: uh?

Yonseixryu: shoe tree shoe tree

Yonseixryu: I just ate a shoe fruit for breakfast

Soup Nazi: WTF IS WITH THIS SHOE TREE?

Yonseixryu: Im going to go swing on the sheo tree

Yonseixryu: bye bye

Soup Nazi: Okay. Great fun.

 

#10992: davepoobond -> Soup Nazi

This was in the year 2003.

davepoobond: oh man, next year’s SATs are gonna SUCK

Soup Nazi: eh?

davepoobond: there’s gonna be 3 sections

davepoobond: and an essay

davepoobond: and the score is gonna be 2400

davepoobond: no more analogies either

Soup Nazi: wowie zowie

Soup Nazi: but it don’t matter for us

davepoobond: yeah i know

davepoobond: we can’t compare with the scores then

davepoobond: with our scores

Soup Nazi: so?

davepoobond: cause its pretty much a different test

Soup Nazi: who…cares?

davepoobond: i can’t rub my score in my sister’s face

Soup Nazi: soo..?

davepoobond: and i can’t say what my score is to my children ::sob::

Soup Nazi: just figure out a mathmatic formula to convert it

davepoobond: i didn’t write an essay though

Soup Nazi: Yeah well

davepoobond: you can’t really convert it

Soup Nazi: take it again if you want then

davepoobond: hell no

 

#10951: Soup Nazi -> davepoobond

Soup Nazi: yeah

davepoobond: my mom just yelled at me at how i play games for 5 or 6 hours a day

Soup Nazi: lol

davepoobond: and that my “game playing” should have stopped in 9th grade

Soup Nazi: BWAAHAA

davepoobond: and she says no senior doing well is playing games 5 or 6 hours a day

davepoobond: “they’re taking their life seriously”

Soup Nazi: She doesn’t see to know that 20-30 years old is the demographic for games

Soup Nazi: and I play ALL day

Soup Nazi: so tell her that

Soup Nazi: lol

davepoobond: she also said “do you think you’re gonna still be playing nintendo and your web site during college? if you have more interest in THAT, then you should major in THAT”

davepoobond: she’s making like no sense

davepoobond: and its all bullshit

davepoobond: she gets pissed off for no reason

davepoobond: i’m working on my college essay, and she talks to me about why i’m getting a high C in english

Soup Nazi: “JIM is a new student at NintendoTech”

davepoobond: cause i got a 63% on one s-a

Soup Nazi: “Majoring in Nentendology

davepoobond: which is 50 percent of english grades

Soup Nazi: and Gaming”

davepoobond: but she doesn’t say anything about my 90+% in tests/quizzes, vocab

Soup Nazi: heh

davepoobond: she ALWAYS focuses on the bad and passes by the good stuff

davepoobond: unless its all good

davepoobond: she always focuses on the bad things

Soup Nazi: heh

davepoobond: and she says she never sees me pouring over books

davepoobond: and how i’m not spending hours upon hours reading college books

davepoobond: that she got

davepoobond: she says she spent more time getting them then i did actually reading them

davepoobond: she also said if she were getting those she’d be pourrringgg herself over those books

Soup Nazi: hehe

davepoobond: and she’s also saying how she never sees me study

Soup Nazi: well tell her to pour over her damn dishes

davepoobond: and thinks that by some chance she’d actually see me studying cause in the last 4 years she’s never seen me actually studying or whatever

davepoobond: its cause my fucking door is closed

davepoobond: and whenever she DOES see me, she forgets that it even happens probably

davepoobond: she walks in at 2 times generally

davepoobond: right when she gets home, and at 9:99

davepoobond: 9:00

davepoobond: i’m usually done with my fucking homework by the time she comes home anyway

Soup Nazi: lol

davepoobond: and then she yells at me for playing “nintendo” all the time

davepoobond: which i actually DONT

Soup Nazi: lol

davepoobond: because all i do is watch fucking cnn

davepoobond: or playing my bass

davepoobond: its total bullshit in this house

davepoobond: i can’t wait till i move out

davepoobond: and don’t even get me started on the damn dishes

davepoobond: my step-dad gets PISSED OFF if he sees even one spoon laying out on the counter for 5 minutes

davepoobond: he’s got a fetish for a clean kitchen

Soup Nazi: lol

Soup Nazi: yeah I know

davepoobond: he gets pissed off because the fucking pantry door is cracked open

Soup Nazi: lol

davepoobond: he gets pissed off because i dont put the bread lock thing on the damn plastic bag of bread

davepoobond: he gets mad at a few grains of rice

Soup Nazi: “BITCH! FIX MAH PANT-RA DOOR!”

davepoobond: and would rather leave it there to yell at me about than clean it up himself

davepoobond: and we don’t use the dishwasher

davepoobond: as soon as we use a dish we have to clean it

davepoobond: have i told you this before?

davepoobond: i think i have

Soup Nazi: yeah

davepoobond: i complain about my family almost as much as i take a dump

Soup Nazi: all of it

Soup Nazi: bwhaaha

davepoobond: i could be so much worse than what i am now. i dont do SHIT. i dont get in trouble, i haven’t gotten a traffic ticket, i haven’t gotten in an accident

davepoobond: i dont do drugs, i dont rape and pillage towns

davepoobond: i dont terrorize sea monkeys

Soup Nazi: PILLAGE!

Soup Nazi: sea monkies SUCK

Soup Nazi: FUCK THEM

davepoobond: they get mad at me for getting a fucking c+ wtf is that

Soup Nazi: BRINE SHRiMP!

davepoobond: i never had any

Soup Nazi: Brine shrimp pimp!

Soup Nazi: I dunno

davepoobond: and its 4 weeks into the damn school year, too

davepoobond: galkwjdsroiweuoiuzxcv

Soup Nazi: well um…

Soup Nazi: sing them the fag song

Soup Nazi: “Fag!” *wink* *click of mouth*

davepoobond: yeah and then they’ll say “disown”

Soup Nazi: bah

Soup Nazi: you can probebly make it

Soup Nazi: playing bass on the streets

Soup Nazi: giving hand jobs for cash

davepoobond: “this is my favorite…pretty fly for a white guy”

End of IMs7

 

5 Is the Max: The Phone Call Theory

So, say you want to call your good friend so you can go hang out somewhere and possibly go somewhere to eat. Now, let’s put two of your favorite people in the world, davepoobond and Soup Nazi into this situation. Soup Nazi’s phone is fucked up for whatever reason, and davepoobond is trying to call him so they can go and do something, like eat a burger. Davepoobond not being able to contact Soup Nazi is a predicament, now, isn’t it? How many times is “enough” to try and contact a friend so you can go and do something together because you’re bored? Davepoobond and Soup Nazi are good friends, but not good enough to warrant any more than a maximum of five calls from davepoobond. Anything more than five calls may and SHOULD be translated as a stalker or someone that is trying to get into your pants.

The rule I propose is that if you are trying to contact someone just to hang out and do nothing important in particular, you are given a maximum of five tries to contact someone. The count resets once you actually make contact. However, this should never be broken unless you ABSOLUTELY need something from this particular person you’re calling. The only thing that would qualify for the need would be something like large amounts of money (we’re talking tens here, baby), ass, returning of a loaned out item, drugs (if you really need a hook up), or if your liver is about to fall out. In these cases, you’re allowed one extra call, adding up to six.

You’re a fucking psycho if you call someone more than five or six times.

 

The Boston Marathon

This was a group effort by davepoobond, elmoisfurry, Nose, stimpyismyname, and Soup Nazi.

INT. Apartment Complex Hallways – DAY.

ANDROMEDOUS approaches a door, pulls out his keys and inserts into the lock.

CUT TO:

INT. Typical Boston Apartment, scarcely furnished, impeccably neat. CLYVE and ALABASTER are sitting on a couch reading different newspapers. They both have goofy smiles.

Clyve

 

Lover, will you pass me the sugar?

 

Alabaster

 

Of course, lover.

Door to the apartment opens. Enter Andromedous, looking bushed.

Andromedous

 

Hello, lovers.

 

Clyve spills his milk.

 

Clyve

 

Oops.

 

 

Andromedous

 

Dude, you are so gay.

 

 

Alabaster

 

Dude, you know perfectly

 

well, none of us are gay. Our love is

 

plutonic, and pure as the wind.

 

 

Andromedous

 

I’m sorry, lover.

 

Everyone laughs.

 

CUT TO:

Opening sequence.

INT. APARTMENT – DAY

A shot of Clyve spilling milk. The shot freezes, and Clyve has an astonished look on his face.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM – DAY

Alabaster is undoing his pants.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM – DAY

Pan from Alabaster’s back to Andromedous and Clyve. They giggle and cover their eyes.

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Andromedous eating a fatty ice cream sundae.

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Alabaster and Clyve making pig noises while wearing pig noses.

CUT TO:

INT. ROOM – DAY

BAAA is sewing.

CUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT ROOM DOOR – DAY

CARLYLE opens the door, looking around with a strange look on his face. RUFUS pops his head out behind CARLYLE.

CUT TO:

INT. DARK ROOM – NIGHT

PETA MEMBERS, looking mean, all stand with their arms crossed against their chest. Camera pans across their faces slowly, as each has a different mean look.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM – DAY

Shot of Bathroom door, ALIAS kicks the bathroom door open.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM

Alabaster has an astonished look on his face. Alias and Alabaster laugh. Andromedous and Clyve come out of the shower, clothed, and start laughing, too.

CUT TO:

TITLE SCREEN: BOSTON MARATHON.

INT. APARTMENT

Clyve, Andromedous, and Alabaster are sitting on the couch.

CLYVE
I’m going to the grocery store, to get some meat.

Oh my god, I love meat. Don’t you guys want meat?

Meat, its what’s for dinner! Meat! Oh my God…

ANDROMEDOUS
Whatever, lover.

CUT TO:

INT. GROCERY STORE MEAT SECTION – DAY

Clyve is shopping for meat in the meat section of the meat market, called Meat-O-Rama.

CLYVE
Boy there’s so much meat, I don’t
know what to buy! Maybe this, or
maybe that one? I don’t know, that
one is kind of mixed with some
other kind of meat. I’m not sure
if that combination is practical. I
hope there’s no soy, cause I hate
soy in my meat. Meat meat meat….

PETA MEMBERS run in and abduct Clyve, hit his legs with a club, and cover his head with a bag.

CUT TO:

INT. DARK ROOM – NIGHT

Clyve has the bag on his head still, and is tied up to a chair.

CLYVE
Where am I? Where did you take me
you crazy abductor people?

PETA MEMBER FRED
We’re members of the PETA
organization. We disapprove of
your eating habits. You should not
eat meat, because you’re eating
animals that have once been living,
and that is not good in our eyes,
because we think our opinions
should be forced on everyone.

PETA MEMBER JOHN takes the bag off Clyve

CLYVE
My God, you guys are horrible. How
can you reject the sweetness that
is meat? You are denying
yourselves the treat of the kings.
Just remember, if animals could
kill and eat us, they would. But
they can’t, so we must take this
advantage and serve them the duty
of eye for an eye!

PETA MEMBER FRED
Ok, that’s it. We didn’t want to
do this, but now we’re going to
have to tickle torture you.

CLYVE
NOOOOOO!!!!

 

PETA MEMBER FRED
YESSSSSS!!!!

CUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT ROOM

ANDROMEDOUS
Where is our lover, Clyve? He left
for the meat market 2 hours ago.
How I miss his touch and love of
meat. When I was lonely he would
make me a nice loin or chop. When
I was happy, he would depress me
with butt steaks or goat goulash.
Where could he be?

CUT TO:

INT. DEEP MYSTERIOUS LAIR.

CLYVE
Meat, meat, meat, meat, meat,
meat,meat,meat!!!!

 

PETA MEMBER FRED
Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it,
stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it.

CLYVE
Meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat,
meat, meet.

Peta member Fred pulls out a gun and opens fire. It becomes apparent that it is not a gun but a hose and the bullets are nothing but water.

CLYVE
When my plutonic lovers get here
they are going to destroy you and
your beliefs. I will be free,
alive, and eating meat while you
will be enslaved, dead and eating
salad. Ya’ll mean.

 

PETA MEMBER FRED
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up,
shut up.

CLYVE
We’ve been through this before.
There’s nowhere for you to go but
down. I respect your beliefs but
you have to understand that what
you would do for meat, meat would
not do for you. You’re living a
lie. FACE IT!!

 

PETA MEMBER FRED
One more time and it’s the hose for
you. You think I’m kidding but I’m
not.

CLYVE
I’m not afraid of you. You don’t
scare me.

Awkward pause

CLYVE
I said I’m not afraid of you. You
don’t scare me. Ya’ll mean.

Baaa enters.

BAAA
When’s the rodeo begin boys, I
brought the rope. Yee ha.

PETA MEMBER FRED
Who’s this butt clown.

CLYVE
That’s my neighbor Baaa. He was in
nam. He’s got like two dozen fish.
His wife is all like oh my god and
she makes cookies straight from
heaven. If you could meet her, you
would fall instantly in love. She
will be forever in my heart. I’m
desperately in love. But it’s a
love different than that of my
plutonic lovers and I. I love them
with my heart, but I love her with
my soul

 

PETA MEMBER FRED
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up,
shut up.

CUT TO:

INT. LOVERS APARTMENT-DAY

ALABASTER AND ANDROMEDOUS
Meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat,
meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat.

CARLYLE and RUFUS enter

CARLYLE
Did somebody say meat. I love
meat, and kittens.

RUFUS
Yeah. When I was born in Boston,
meat was a forbidden substance.
You would often have to fight for
days to get one buffalo steak.
Thank God, those days are over.
Although I can’t say the same for
poor old Charlie. Charlie grew up
and died in a world without meat.
Yeah, Charlie was in the war too.
You can ask a man to go to war. You
can ask a man to kill another man,
but you can’t ask a man to forget.
Charlie was the best thing that
ever happened to this little god
forsaken hick town. Charlie had
something, and you took it away
from him. For what? For WHAT? So he
could cap a few more commies? He
deserved better. We all did. You
ruined us Andromedous. You ruined
us. We could of had a future,
instead of these crap jobs at the
dirt farm. HOW COULD YOU TAKE AWAY
OUR LIVES LIKE THAT?

 

CARLYLE
He’s right, ya know?

 

ANDROMEDOUS
About what?

 

CARLYLE
About everything man! The meat, the
war… Charlie. (A pause) God…
Charlie…

CUT TO

INT. DEEP MYSTERIOUS LAIR.

CLYVE
You stole our lives, you stole our
blood… You stole our innocence.
You’ll remember this day. You’ll
remember it for a long time.

CUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT ROOM DOOR

ALABASTER AND ANDROMEDOUS
WE LOVE YOU Rufus.

RUFUS
I love you too. We’re having
tofurkey later with soy salad
dressing on our salad. We’re then
gonna toss the salad. Meat is for
sinners. I’m totally contradicting
myslef. Earlier I said I loved
meat. I don’t. I live with a
vegetarian and PETA member Carlyle.

 

ALABASTER AND ANDROMEDOUS
PETA!!

CUT TO:

INT. DISNEYLAND APARTMENT.

PETA MEMBER FRED
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.

CLYVE
I didn’t say anything. I never said
anything. Stop assuming I’m bad
just because I’m a meat lover. It
wasn’t easy for me growing up in a
vegetarian household. I was beaten
with the sausage links I loved so
much. Boom, I was shipped to
boarding school.

 

Big explosion and door implodes.

ANDROMEDOUS
We’re here

 

ALABASTER AND ANDROMEDOUS
Hooooooooooowa

 

CLYVE
Lovers!

 

ANDROMEDOUS
Lover

 

ALABASTER AND ANDROMEDOUS
Lovers, lovers, lovers

 

ANDROMEDOUS
Everythings okay again.

Enter GIJOE, a muscular man of 40, tall, white…

GIJOE
Hey kid! I’m a computer! stop all
the downloading! Help computer!

 

CLYVE
I don’t know don’t know much about
computers… we got a computer at
home and my mom put a couple of
games on it but…

 

GIJOE
BZZZTTTTTTTtTTTTttTTT!

Clyve barfs.

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