Squacklecast Episode 36 – “Toys R Us That’s Why We R Bankrupt”

This entry is part 36 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

This episode has it all!

Ass!

Titties!

Porn parody crossovers!

MORE STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And Toys R Us store-visiting experiences!!!

We talk about the general concept of shared universes and crossovers.  There’s a general lack of crossovers nowadays, and I think the idea that Alien, Blade Runner, and Soldier all being in the same universe is a dandy one.  Thanks Ridley Scott!

The new Jersey Shore reunion is a topic of discussion.

And there’s a Star Wars: The Last Jedi porn parody.  It’s probably better than The Last Jedi.

Looks like they got rid of Finn completely — so it’s actually just the director’s cut of The Last Jedi.

See you next bankruptcy!

 

Squacklecast Episode 35 – “Cambridge Squacklytica”

This entry is part 35 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

Wow, another podcast in the same year as another one?!?

We talk about what we are going to talk about. Unfortunately we have some recording issues, with dropping out and connections I guess, so sorry for that.

Pacific Rim Uprising is what we discuss at the beginning since it is out this weekend.  We talk about reviews and how it compares to transformers. then we talk about transformers and actors who appear in this sort of movie.

We then go into about Comedians becoming dramatic actors and dramatic actors who take on comedic roles, such as Chris Hemsworth in Thor: Ragnarok.

We talk about having no time to watch shows. Atlanta, Black Mirror is discussed. Then we talk about Eddie Murphy, which leads into Smash Mouth tour dates and then a discussion on fast food.

Somebody once told me the world listens to Squacklecast.

I think they were lying.

We talk about the Facebook data breach and other miscellaneous things.

I’M GOING TO GO SEE PACIFIC RIM UPRISING NOW, EVERYONE.

 

Squacklecast Episode 34 – “Your Post-Oscars Oscars 2018 Trailers Guide”

This entry is part 34 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

Hi there!  We have a podcast?

Oh, right we do… well get ready for the POST-OSCARS OSCARS 2018 TRAILERS GUIDE!!!  WITH THE SQUACKLECAST!!!

This is Peak Squacklecast right here folks.  Or is it “Pique?”

We talk about The Oscars, and how we would improve it.  A pear is also involved at multiple times.  We talk about the movies we did and didn’t see during The Oscars.  There are other things too, I guess.  I sort of forgot at this point.

We also do a quick recap on Black Panther, our likes and dislikes.  I NEVER FREEZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Something I forgot to mention in our mini-recap about Black Panther — I would have liked more “panther” type kinetic releases (like swiping and jumping or whatever) rather than a big kinetic cloud coming out of a suit.

We also recommit to doing a Squacklecast more often so that our listeners out there can get more content!  Or maybe we didn’t recommit.

Welp, see you next time!

 

Squacklecast Episode 33 – “Star Wars: The Last Shit I Give”

This entry is part 33 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

This episode has it all!

Self-reflection!

Net Neutrality!

Justice League!

Star Wars: The Last Jedi!

Fuck my life!!  I thought this year was supposed to have good movies!  Instead we just got fuuuuuuuucked.  Fuck you Ajit Pai!  Fuck you Rian Johnson!

Go watch Blade Runner 2049.  It was the only one worth watching this year.

 

Squacklecast Episode 32 – “‘Soft’ Reboot”

This entry is part 32 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

Another year has passed, and for some reason we finally remembered to do a Squacklecast!

Lots of things have changed, and we talk mostly about Wonder Woman, Batman, and Twin Peaks.

 

We talk about MTV, Ryan Seacrest’s dildos, how Carson Daly will share a burrito with you, and a 15 minute long awkward “ending” to this week’s podcast.

Since my old iMac finally was booted from having an up to date version of Skype, I had to record on my new computer with a new configuration.  We might sound a little different than usual, but hopefully it isn’t bad.  It is easier to set up though, so we may once again be able to do these more often.

See ya next time!

 

Squacklecast Episode 31 – “The Beach Sucks”

This entry is part 31 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

Wow its been like 3 or 4 months since the last one?  Well, here’s another SQUACKLECAST.

We talk about how much I hate having “fun” on the 4th of July weekend.

X-Men Apocalypse and Warcraft are the main topics otherwise.

Pixar’s Finding Dory is out, we haven’t seen it, but we talk about how hard it is for us to say which Pixar movies we actually really like for some reason.  Who actually asked for a sequel to Finding Nemo anyway?

Clifford the Big Red Dog is also coming to the big screen.

Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich come up.  We also talk about their careers.

We then talk about this Uno card game for the PS1, with this amazing opening movie.

 

I’m probably missing some things.  ANYWAY!  See ya next time!

 

Squacklecast Episode 30 – “Dawn of 30s”

This entry is part 30 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

Episode 30 is here!  And I made a new song!  Maybe??  I don’t know what it’s going to sound like as I’m typing this, so maybe you’ll like it.

For the first hour or so we catch up about what we’ve been watching (like Daredevil) and a couple of other events.  I talk about how I was able to kill 3 crickets within 30 seconds or so.  We talk primarily about two things, Screening Room which a service that would allow you to watch new movies “day of” in the home.

and for the second hour or so…BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE.

We both saw it so we talk about what we liked, what we didn’t like, etc.  There are spoilers, just in case you are worried.

The whole podcast is the longest we’ve ever done, it seems.  We figured if you’re going to bother listening, you’ll just listen to the whole thing.

 

Squacklecast Episode 29 – “Air Bag Recall Beyond Darkness Awakens”

This entry is part 29 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

Hey everyone!  Sorry for the long break, but we’re finally back with a new Squacklecast.

This time we talk a little bit about the reason behind using aliases on the web site as well as the inspiration/explanation behind the current theme song for the 3rd set of Squacklecasts.  I’ll be debuting a new song for the 4th set (Episodes 30 through 39) with Episode 30.

With David Bowie‘s passing this month, we go into David Bowie‘s career and what movies/music we personally have interest in when it comes to him.

The Prestige is the most notable acting performance to me, other than knowing he was in Labyrinth.  Music was obviously a big part of our exposure.

davidbowieprestige

The Man Who Fell to Earth is the movie Billy referenced to.  The Hunger, as well.

Red Dawn has been stuck on my desk for like six months.  I never seem to have “time” to sit and watch a movie for 2 hours because there’s so many other things to do (like this).

Netflix DVD was on its way to being called Qwikster at some point.  We talk about the effects of the movie/TV show streaming on small rental stores.

Fierce Creatures was the most recent “rare” DVD I’ve had to get from Netflix because it was a very long wait.

I finished Quantum Leap last month, and I’m still watching Gotham, but its on break.  They announced plans for a possible spin-off in the future.

The new Star Trek series speculation.  What we think it’ll be like and what we hope for.  Battlestar Galactica discussion.

…and Star Wars discussion   What else did you expect?  The Force Awakens was released since last podcast, and we talk about why Star Wars has become such a big cultural relevance.

starwarsforceawakensreyfinn

A deeper Star Trek movie discussion commences after.

Other random movie stuff, like Die Hard, Terminator: Genisys, etc.

We go into a longer discussion of Terminator: Gensisys and talk about how laser weapons, time travel, and killer robots are much more believable than one billion pre-orders of an operating system.  Also, the movie seemed to be trolling people after the third time travel jump.  They also turned Terminators into metal zombies.  It was basically one big cartoon of a movie.

It’s a lot easier to remember what you didn’t talk about when you do more than one podcast every 3 months.

See ya guys next time!

 

Squacklecast Episode 28 – “So Long, Mr. Boner”

This entry is part 28 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

Episode 28!

Happy Founder’s Day everyone!  It has been 22 years since anyone last cared about it, but TODAY is the day we do!

Today we have Unnamedhero joining us on the show.

We talk about the Angry Birds movie trailer a bit, which leads to a discussion about reality shows, somehow.

The Pope is in town and we talk about that a little bit.  I don’t care about religion that much, so here’s some picture.

 

funnypopefrancis

Oh, Pope Francis!  You so great!

Twenty Eleven or Two thousand and eleven?  We spend like 10 minutes talking about how to say numbers.

We skip to John Boehner and talk about how big of a cry baby he is.

johnboehnercryingpope

 I’m gonna miss one thing about Mr. Boner.  Well, two.

We go into the Republican debates/controversies a bit.  I bring up my Twitter interactions with random crazy conservatives who are outraged over renamed mountains and clocks.

We also announce the new Apple clothing store, iRack.  Only black shirts.  Then somehow Billy knows random actors who wear all black.

We go over some presidential predictions, and then go into some Fall TV talk.  Gotham is back.  This leads into a bigger discussion about plotlines and story in comic book TV shows and movies.  James Bond stuff comes up.  Billy saw the new Fantastic Four.  We talk about it.

We go over super heroes and what their party affiliations would probably be.  The consensus may surprise you on some of the famous heroes!

That’s it for today!  Hopefully the next episode isn’t too far away…

 

California Water Saving Tips

California is in a perpetual drought.  We need tips!  Tips that will help save water!!!

– There are a number of ways to save water, and they all start with you.

– Rip out all of your grass. Dirt needs to be watered a lot less than grass.

– Use only paper plates and plastic-ware.  Water isn’t used to make those things.

– If you want to take a 15-minute shower, just don’t eat a hamburger.  You save water in what is probably a completely different state than California, and you don’t have to feel bad about it.  Those damn cows drink as much water as a 25 minute shower at least.

– Only use water from water bottles, they are probably not from California, maybe.  The likelihood goes up if you buy something labeled as a foreign country or place.

– Use vodka to make your Kool-Aid.

– Don’t drink water, drink your own sweat. It’s like recycling your own water.

– Bathe in fire.  It kills more germs.

– If you take a shit, remove the shit from the water, take it to work and flush it there.

– Wash your hands with your pee.

– Import ice from the North Pole/Antarctica.  It is melting anyway.

– Move out of California.

– Continue to disappoint your mother and harvest her tears.

– Shoot people who use water.

– Travel back in time and use the water before its gone.

– Use only your hands to drink water.

– Don’t eat fruits or vegetables.  You won’t waste water having to wash them.

– Keep a pitcher of water next to the toilet, that way any toilet water that splashes out goes down you and not on the floor.

– Reuse leftover water from the nuclear reactor to cook your spaghetti.

– Don’t cook food that requires water.

– Don’t buy fruits or vegetables that originate from California.

– Freeze water, that way it expands and you will have more water.

– Wash your laundry in another State.

– Don’t wash your clothes.  Use them one time and then return it to the store.

– Don’t take a shower.  You’ll save like a bajillion gallons of water a month.

– Put food coloring in your toilet.  It will mask the unpleasant color your unflushed piss and poo water will create naturally.  Don’t let FoodBabe know.

– Upgrade older toilets with rocket capability.

– Turn off the water while you brush your teeth.  That will save 40 gallons a minute.  That’s up to 250,000 gallons a day for a family of 6748.

– If your toilet was installed before 1992, thank the plumber.

– Consider a dual-flush toilet.  It will flush your toilet twice and use twice as much water.

– Take showers instead of luxurious baths.  You’re getting clean here, and only babies take baths.

– Don’t have children that use water.  Birth only dirt babies.

– Avoid having fun with water.  Fun wastes water.

– Avoid recreational water toys, they use water.

– See a leak you can’t fix?  Learn how to by going to plumber’s trade school for a year.

– Steal your water from a multinational corporation that isn’t based in California.

– Remove the cement from your driveway so that water can flood your home and not drain into the ocean.

– Start calling California “Arizona” instead of “California.”

– Plant alien plants that require human blood to live.

– Consider converting your home into an alien spaceship that does not require water to run.

– Start a compost pile in your bedroom.  This keeps the compost pile from evaporating its precious water.

– Don’t jerk off in the shower anymore.  Or just jerk off without the water on and then clean up afterwards.

– Plant water-hating plants.

– Hire the 10 year old kid next door to rip out your irrigation system.

– Catch water in an empty tuna can.  Then drink it.

– Use your hanging basket plants as pinatas.

– Only have sex in the Jacuzzi, the swimming pool needs too much water.

– Make your swimming pool tacky by removing waterfalls and stupid bullshit that makes it look nice.  Then you won’t want to swim in your pool anymore and you will contemplate just getting rid of the whole thing.

– Get rid of pesky pets that need water to survive.  Pet Rocks are coming back in style.

– Post a hotline in bathrooms that people can call so they can finish their shits faster.  I don’t know how this saves water, but I can at least take a shit since I’ve been waiting for 10 minutes!  God damn!

– Water-shame people who keep water in a bottle that is clearly not purchased from a store new.

– Do not drink processed water, it is unhealthy for you, similar to processed meats.  It is not as nature intended!

– Clean water is man-made, therefore it is unnatural and unhealthy!  It takes a lot of water to make clean water.

– Don’t put water inside water.  You lose the water you are putting inside of the water as it becomes just one water.

– Appoint a water ambassador to the ocean and beg it for rain.

– Marry or seduce a televised meteorologist and convince them to say there will be rain coming on the news even if it isn’t true.

– Strike up a conversation with a plumber and ask them how the plumber the seven seas.

– Lick dishes of their food and dirt instead of rinsing with water.  You can also get a dog to do this.

– A recent study showed people care about water usage.  Ain’t that cool?

– Destroy all decorative fountains you see.  Especially ones that are not yours.

– Don’t wash your car ever.

– Pee in the shower.

– Pee outside.  Select a private space near a bush you don’t particularly like and go at it.

– Don’t let children maintain a swimming pool.  They suck at math.  It is dangerous because they might miscalculate how much water to put in the swimming pool and that would suck for when you were having sex in there.  There is also a higher chance of them seeing you since they are responsible for the swimming pool.

– Get your girlfriend wet everyday and then water the plants with her.

– Start using wet humor instead of dry humor.  Or in this case, drought humor.

– Kill anyone who is doing a rain dance in California, they are obviously failing and are probably making things worse with their awful dancing.  Then water the plants with their blood.  It rained after all!

– Grow some clouds and then explode them all over your plants.

– No more sex in the shower.  Or just have the water off if you have sex in there.

– Lick things clean, such as your car or yourself.

 

Squacklecast Episode 27 – “How to Eat Grilled Cheese”

This entry is part 27 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

Wow!  I don’t know who keeps making these Squacklecasts, but they keep getting made.

We talk about ABC Family’s Harry Potter marathon a bit and which ones we like overall.  Also we realize how we can’t remember what happens in which one or what they’re called.

Comic Con 2015 began and ended in a boring whimper considering Marvel was a no-show.  Trailers from the convention are at Wired.

The current status of Marvel and how Ant-Man is or is not their current “peak.”  Avengers 2 was basically Cameo: The Movie.  The X-Men properties are discussed.

We talk about the DC properties which were arguably the most interesting part of this year’s Comic Con.

Movies about movies that didn’t get made — Superman Lives and pre-Lynch Dune.

Will Smith is Deadshot in the new Suicide Squad movie.  Hopefully he’s more like Capt. James West from Wild Wild West:

willsmithwildwildwest

Dave was mostly into the Garfield/Calvin and Hobbes types of comics instead of the Marvel/DC stuff.

Since Garfield likes lasagna, that was a segue into talking about food and Grilled Cheese.  Billy doesn’t like Grilled Cheese because his only experience with it was eating it at a buffet.

Perfect Grilled Cheese on sourdough is as follows:

grilledcheese

Awful wheat grilled cheese is this awful awful thing:

awfulgrilledcheese

More random food talk about bacon and other things.

Davepoobond’s Hate List for Celebrities (5 is average rating)

FRED 10/10, Bono 10/10, Owen Wilson 9/10, Jackie Chan 6/10

Melissa McCarthy 10/10, Julia Roberts 9/10, Drew Barrymore 8/10, Geena Davis 7/10, Cher 4/10

Fuck you FRED.  See you guys next time!

 

Squacklecast Episode 26 – “Haters of the Boll”

This entry is part 26 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

It’s another Squacklecast!  We talk about the following —

3 Big game announcements –

Fallout 4 Announced

XCOM 2 Announced

 

And also Heroes of the Storm released!  (I’ve been playing it a lot)

We talk about how games adapt to movies and how many of them don’t do what gamers actually want out of a movie.

I wanted an hour and a half of this to be the real Resident Evil movie:

Resident Evil’s character name list is quite hilarious.

We go into a little bit about Uwe Boll‘s filmmaking.

After that, a little bit of Warcraft, and then we talk about San Andreas in depth.

We go more into Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson‘s career, as well.

And then we talk about how comedies always want to make us depressed now.  The Benchwarmers wasn’t amazing, but at least it didn’t make you depressed.

We talk about davepoobond’s movie tastes and how one would chart them on a graph.  It would probably look like this:

daves-movie-tastes

The hate fills davepoobond for the last segment and he delves into who he dislikes generally, in particular Melissa McCarthy.

Next time we’ll go over a list of people he hates in full detail!

 

Squacklecast Episode 25 – “Mad Max: Spoiler Road”

This entry is part 25 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

Hey all!  We talk about lots of stuff today, including Japanese game shows, Mad Max: Fury Road and lots of upcoming/canceled TV shows this year.

We don’t talk about any Mad Max spoilers really until we accidentally let some slip, so we don’t talk about Mad Max until about the 25 minute mark.

Here are some clips to look at for the Japanese game shows we are talking about in particular:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFaF2etEJaE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlGWOBpZObg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qh4VNuW_1w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfMLmv1jULs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2lzoEwRUA0

Then we talk about Mad Max: Fury Road for a considerable amount of time:

New TV shows for the upcoming 2015/2016 season.  Lots of procedural shows where there is a person/thing that has a lot of extra knowledge or abilities to solve crimes.

Limitless being one of them, where Bradley Cooper plays lovable huggy bear who only appears in one episode per season.

And then there are like procedural shows for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend or whatever, and then Legends of Idiots which is another super hero show procedural based on a comic book.

There’s a lot of time spent on TV show stuff.  We stop talking about Mad Max completely at around the 1 hour 1 minute mark.

See ya next time!

 

Squacklecast Episode 24 – “Starvenger Warman v R2-D2”

This entry is part 24 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

Hey all!  Welcome to Squackle.com: The Record of Human History.

Today on the Squacklecast we talk about:

Stripper stories and strip clubs.

Some random “funny-concept” games like Goat Simulator and I Am Bread.

We talk about the following trailers:

Ant-Man:

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice:

Avengers:

Star Wars:

We talk about a long list of dealbreakers someone posted on their dating profile.

Some stuff about spiders and bugs, too.

See ya guys next time!

 

Squacklecast Episode 23 – “Episode 23.14159265359”

This entry is part 23 of 36 in the series The Squacklecast

Happy Pi/Pee Day, everyone.

There is this video that Billy was talking about, I don’t know why I even watched it as it was kind of terrible.

I go on a rant about month-long commemorative holidays, similar to an opinion article I wrote in the past.

Month long Zombie Awareness Month is this coming May 2015!  Also, Month-Long-Holiday Awareness Year starts this year and every year before and after.

We start talking about Star Trek and Star Wars all of a sudden, not sure why, which leads into Interstellar.  This is the video Billy talks about where the author of the book The Prestige says Chris Nolan only has a couple of good movies:

Then we go into the different movies Nolan has made and how he is as a general filmmaker nowadays.

Nolan’s Memento is similar in structure to Irreversible, according to Billy.

We finish out the Nolan discussion and then talk about Gotham a little bit.  Gotham pretty much jumped the shark the first episode.

fishmooneyspooning

Then we go into where Gotham is actually supposed to be located.  We talk about this map on comicvine, which may or may not be canon:

We also talk about Agent Carter, as well.  And then we go into the Superman movies and how Superman 2 was cut in two different ways.

For some reason I saw Da Hip Hop Witch before any of the Superman movies (yet to see) or probably even the Rocky movies.  We talk about Da Hip Hop Witch a little bit, too.

We talk about how crap movies like Da Hip Hop Witch is able to get on Netflix and inspect the process of actually getting on Netflix insofar as a Google Search can tell us.

Squackle: The Movie? I guess it would just be my YouTube channel

Pi ya’ll! See you in National Poetry Month!