BAN (PC) Review

Overview

The game BAN has a strange title for so many reasons. One I can think of is that this game should have a BAN slapped on it for being completely crap. All you do is play a crap drawing of a person and shoot what looks like a monster by frantically pushing CTRL. You then die and think hmmmmmm that was fun and then you think how did I get that score.  The gameplay is so minimal but then again what do you expect from PG Games.

Graphics

A stick with a head and a head for a monster well okay long story short there a pile of shit the was no effort in this area.

Sounds

Nothing but a crappy sound track, which is very annoying and is probably why the game is so dam big. I would personally prefer hearing someone straining when having a crap.

Gameplay

It’s all down to button bashing and is well very boring, it is so boring this can be called a medical breakthrough, a fast and effective sleeping drug with no side effects.

Crappiest Part

Well all you really have to do is read the review but I would have to say the graphics they look like a 3 year old drew them.

Overall

Am I allowed to give 0? If not then I will have to give it a 1/10 just for the fact it has no good features.

If I ever find the download for this game, I will post it.

 

Kill the Dummies (PC) Review

Developer: PG Games

  Kill the Dummies (PC) (3.9 MiB, 511 hits)

Game by PG Games, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

This game is like a retarded dream, and it only gets worse from there…This is the description of the game it gives in the readme file: The object of the game is to kill all the dummies in three levels for so little time as possible. Game may contain some violence and blood, but just remember: Don’t do this in real-life! If you do, you are an idiot and don’t blame us when you’re in court! Moohahahaha *Grin*.

Now I would see this impossible to do, because we are not floating hands with claws coming out of them, nor are we a sword that is randomly put into the game.

Graphics:

They suck the hair right off my ass. The backgrounds are the only thing that look any good, and they’re the things that make the game so fucking big.

Sound:

I like the title screen music. This is probably the only thing that you would want to do with this game. Listen to the theme song, then close it, but if you know what it is, you should get the midi instead of this game. Well, the rest of the midis used in the game are alright too…

Gameplay:

The moving hand with claws coming out of it moves so badly, and when you attack, the hand goes to the other side ah who cares no ones gonna play this fucking game. Its really bad.

Crappiest part:

the programmer behind the game. There is no creativity in the game at all, except from the people that made the MIDIs in the first place.

Overall Score:

This game took me 20 minutes to download, and it only gave me 83 seconds of play. This is NOT worth the download, and it makes me wonder why the FUCK this is even 4 megs. I came to the conclusion that it was the backgrounds, and he used them as bitmaps…this game is horrible. 1/10.

  Kill the Dummies (PC) (3.9 MiB, 511 hits)

Game by PG Games, made with Game Maker.

 

Johnny (PC) Review

Developer: PG Games

  Johnny (PC) (7.1 MiB, 468 hits)

Game by PG Games, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

Going to the PG Games website is so perplexing to me, because there are so many horrible games that are so not worth downloading that I get the feeling that I must have them before they are gone forever, because no one downloads them. One of those fascinating games is….the oddly named Johnny. The name Johnny has nothing to do with anything in the game. There are no words in this game. Its funny, cause in the help file it says that the story was made by the guy that made the game, but low and behold there ain’t no fuckin story. I’m still in awe at the fact that this fucking game is 8 megs. What the fuck is with that, you might ask, for this game being so crappy just by one glance at the pictures? The mp3, is what it is. Its a fairly good techno song though, and that’s the only good thing about this game. I’m happy that I actually got this game, so I could get my hands on that succulent techno song that goes so not well with anything happening in the game.

Graphics:

First of all, everything about this game scares me. The Johnny guy has a smile that I originally thought was a beard, but i guess it was just the black background (which is also scary, because there’s nothing there, its just black.), and there’s naked purple aliens everywhere, throwing their shitflames, and these weird eye tower things, and these weird sack things that don’t do anything but move around. Everything graphical wise in this game sucks dick. There’s not even an animation for the guy walking. There’s no animation at all, and there’s no separate picture for walking backwards, he just slides backwards or forwards, or jumps into the air really high.

Sound:

Like I said before, the song is good. There aren’t any sound effects though. Which is probably a good thing.

Gameplay:

You jump…and go straight. You can’t see where you’re going at all though, because the view is always not far enough to the right to see anything.

Crappiest part:

The crappiest part would be everything minus the music. More work probably went into finding the music than the rest of the game.

Overall Score:

(insert fog horn sound). This game isn’t worth getting unless you want to listen to the song. I give it a 1/10. The 1 is for the song.

  Johnny (PC) (7.1 MiB, 468 hits)

Game by PG Games, made with Game Maker.