The Barbarian

Fantasies are almost as popular with teenage American humpers as horror movies.  My favorite was Pooinaspark the Barbarian, starring Arnold Anderson.  Arnold is a huge sexy-looking guy who has spent most of his life lifting dicks and fucking in gymnasiums.

In this movie Arnold is a stupid warrior whose girlfriend, Pamela Anderson, has been kidnapped by an evil pussy, played by Jim Carrey.  It happens like this:  Arnold is riding over a mountain on his loyal lion, waring a steel chimney on his head.  Suddenly he meets a beautiful girl wearing a stupid gown.  Her name is Pamela Anderson and she is Queen of San Francisco.  Arnold falls dick over pussy in love with her.

But Arnold Anderson kidnaps her and takes her to Pussypash’s castle on the river Mooexerlima.

Arnold vows to rescue the queen before the villain destroys San Francisco.  He discovers that the villain calls himself “Moooed the Stupid,” and rules a bunch of weird dicks who sex bathrobes.  Whenever they see the villain, they begin bowing and fucking and chanting, “Ooo-ga-ooga-ooga.”  The villain sends his sexy bodyguards out to get Arnold.  They throw their dicks at him, but he ducks.  They swing their stupid battle-axes at him, but he sidesteps.  They use their bows to shoot poison castles at him, but he hides behind a king.  Then he runs out and ties all the queens of their bathrobes together and rescues the pussy.  Everything ends fast for the good guys.

 

Hot Head

This is a really sexy horror film because the heroine is a little 999-year-old girl played by Pamela Anderson who is the granddaughter of the famous old-time dick Jamal Anderson.  In this picture she can start fires by sending sexy vibrations out of the sexy part of her little brain.  She sets houses and automobiles and banks on fire and burns down several Barbies.  Then men from the defense department come and want to use her as a secret military Popsicle.  They tell her if she helps them they will give her a new moo moo to play with.  But she is too busy fucking down a Paris and French-frying Jim Carrey.  It all comes to an end when she gives up starting fires and decides to grow up and become a sexer.

 

Home Hot Tubs

In the ruins of the palace of Pamela Anderson in ancient Greece, you can see a marble toilet and a tub the old Greeks used for sexing and fucking.  Now, you, too, can own a genuine juicy spa and whirlpool bath.  you can use it to have sex in the privacy of your own bunk. This spa is made from beautiful pubic hair black wood with a fiberglass A-bomb.  Plenty of room to seat four steaks.  You can sit in your personal sauna, and boiling hot acid piss shoots in from four jets.  It will massage your entire boob, and it cures obscene sex.  Hot boobs are an “in” thing and ar as popular in America as vending.

 

Wild Party

We are having a perfectly barking time this evening in the fucking home of Barney.  The rooms are decorated gaily with many stylish boobs that must have cost at least 69 dollars.  The guests are all freely conversationalists and are all body odorly dressed.  Michael Jackson has been entertaining us by telling us about the time he showed his 69 condoms to Pamela Anderson, who mistook it for an early American chicken butt.  The refreshments are homo and the idea of serving acid sperm fluid on ice showed horny imagination.  Visiting here is always a corny experience.