#10894: davepoobond -> MyLeftTesticle

davepoobond: jenny jenny, you are the girl for me

davepoobond: you dont know me, but you make me so happy

davepoobond: i tried to call you before, but i lost my nerve!

davepoobond: i tried my imagination, but i was discerned!

davepoobond: jenny….i got your number!

davepoobond: i need to make you mine!

davepoobond: jenny don’t change your number!

davepoobond: 867-5309!!

MyLeftTesticle: That song’s silly.

davepoobond: for a good time calllllllllll!!!

davepoobond: yeah. but i like it

 

#10882: MyLeftTesticle -> davepoobond

MyLeftTesticle: hey baby

davepoobond: hi

MyLeftTesticle: so what you up to?

davepoobond: not much. downloading legal music from mp3.com and typing up stuff from my squackle notebooks

davepoobond: you

MyLeftTesticle: oh just thinking about you

davepoobond: unh hunh…

MyLeftTesticle: so what are you wearing?

davepoobond: anything you want

MyLeftTesticle: ohhhh, you nasty girl

davepoobond: ::fluttery eyelashes::

MyLeftTesticle: so you wana hook up

davepoobond: yeah

MyLeftTesticle: where you at?

davepoobond: home

MyLeftTesticle: why dont you come over.

MyLeftTesticle: im here alone

davepoobond: i’m a little tied up right now

 

#10472: MyLeftTesticle -> davepoobond

MyLeftTesticle: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

davepoobond: one sniffs others butts

MyLeftTesticle: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

davepoobond: heh

MyLeftTesticle: Why does the bride always wear white?

davepoobond: to symbolize the fact that everyone loves her

MyLeftTesticle: Because it’s good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

davepoobond: heh

MyLeftTesticle: What’s the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?

davepoobond: what

MyLeftTesticle: Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

davepoobond: heh

MyLeftTesticle: Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

davepoobond: people weren’t racist there

MyLeftTesticle: Everyone has the same DNA.

MyLeftTesticle: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

davepoobond: urrh i dont get that one

davepoobond: dont know

MyLeftTesticle: Breasts don’t have eyes.

davepoobond: heh

MyLeftTesticle: What’s the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?

davepoobond: southern always have it during the civil war

davepoobond: and they’re winning

MyLeftTesticle: A Northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time.” A Southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit.”

davepoobond: lol

MyLeftTesticle: That’s some funny stuff.

davepoobond: yep

MyLeftTesticle: I can’t believe you don’t get the OJ one. That’s priceless.

davepoobond: what’d it mean though

MyLeftTesticle: Eh, I didn’t really get it either. Heh.

davepoobond: heh

MyLeftTesticle: Dude, I got a PS2 for Christmas. Good times.

davepoobond: thats cool

davepoobond: what games you got

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah. I got 4 games with it too. My girlfriend brought over a shit load more the next day. I’ve got Jak and Daxter, Gran Turismo 3, SOCOM: Navy SEALS, Kingdom Hearts (my sisters wanted that game; it looks pretty cool, too), Soul Reaver 2, Kessen 2, Dark Cloud, The Bouncer, and a bunch of other games, too.

davepoobond: wow

davepoobond: ur girlfriend gave games to you?

davepoobond: Kingdom Hearts is really fun though

MyLeftTesticle: Yes and yes.

MyLeftTesticle: I beat Soul Reaver 2 the other day. Man, that is THE BEST game EVER!

davepoobond: you’ve got more games than me and i’ve had my PS2 for a year >.>

MyLeftTesticle: I’m also 95% done with Jak and Daxter already. Fun game.

MyLeftTesticle: Heh.

MyLeftTesticle: I’m already burnt out on it, though.

davepoobond: after a week?

MyLeftTesticle: Yep.

davepoobond: do you have gta3 or vice city?

MyLeftTesticle: No.

davepoobond: sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo borrrrrrrrreeeeedddddd

MyLeftTesticle: How ’bout I give you a spoon.

davepoobond: ok

davepoobond: :-!

MyLeftTesticle: So you can eat my ass.

davepoobond: that’d be good

davepoobond: yes

davepoobond: what i’ve always wanted

MyLeftTesticle: I know.

MyLeftTesticle: gtg, peace.

davepoobond: k bye

 

#10272: MyLeftTesticle -> davepoobond

MyLeftTesticle: Hey, do you know of any famous murder criminal freaks? I need a list of about ten or so…

davepoobond: jack the ripper

davepoobond: something the mauler

davepoobond: black widow

davepoobond: dracula

davepoobond: charles manson

MyLeftTesticle: Fuck you.

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: what

MyLeftTesticle: Dracula’s not a criminal murder guy.

davepoobond: well the others are

MyLeftTesticle: I know.

davepoobond: frankenstein

MyLeftTesticle: Okay.

davepoobond: he killed his father

davepoobond: y’know

MyLeftTesticle: Yes, that’s sad.

davepoobond: hellz ya. can you imagine killing your father with your brute strength?

davepoobond: i mean he musta felt a lot of love for him to hug him to death

MyLeftTesticle: No, I’m a midget, I have no strength.

davepoobond: well of course you do

davepoobond: midgets pack more force for the punch

davepoobond: and so does macho man randy savage

MyLeftTesticle: Macho Man should go back to the WWF.

davepoobond: WWE

davepoobond: but yeah he should

MyLeftTesticle: Oh yeah…

davepoobond: he’s too cool

MyLeftTesticle: WWE, that’s so stupid.

MyLeftTesticle: Oooooh YEAH, brother.

davepoobond: did he say “boy”

davepoobond: or did he say both

MyLeftTesticle: I think so….Maybe he said both.

MyLeftTesticle: He used to be rivals with Hogan for a while on WCW. That was awesome.

davepoobond: they were in a legal battle with the wildlife wilderness federation i think. something like that. they just got sick of it and changed their name

davepoobond: yeah

MyLeftTesticle: I thought they changed it to WWE ’cause they owned all the wrestling corporations now.

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: they own ECW too?

MyLeftTesticle: Yes.

davepoobond: heh

MyLeftTesticle: They had ECW before they had WCW.

davepoobond: oh

davepoobond: i didnt even know wcw was gone until like this month

davepoobond: or last month

MyLeftTesticle: Heh.

davepoobond: i wanna get sound clips of macho man

 

#7640: Bklynzballer -> MyLeftTesticle

This entry is part 12 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 8, 2001.

Bklynzballer: this is mike

MyLeftTesticle: Hi Mike.

Bklynzballer: hey….yesterday u made fun of me

MyLeftTesticle: When?

Bklynzballer: yesterday

MyLeftTesticle: I don’t remember yesterday. All I remember was smoking a bowl and…Watching some TV.

 

#7638: Bklynzballer -> MyLeftTesticle

This entry is part 10 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 8, 2001.

Bklynzballer: hey fag

MyLeftTesticle: Huh?

Bklynzballer: ready to die?

Bklynzballer: huh?

MyLeftTesticle: Why?

Bklynzballer: well?

MyLeftTesticle: Why am I going to die?

Bklynzballer: ure getting jumped

MyLeftTesticle: Why?

Bklynzballer: because u made me mad yesterday

MyLeftTesticle: What did I do?

Bklynzballer: this is ben right?

MyLeftTesticle: Yes.

Bklynzballer: u kno who this is?

MyLeftTesticle: Who?

Bklynzballer: mike from school

MyLeftTesticle: Um, I don’t think I know you.

 

#7636: Bklynzballer -> MyLeftTesticle

This entry is part 8 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

This took place on July 8, 2001.

Bklynzballer: ben im gunna jump u

Bklynzballer: me and jay

MyLeftTesticle: Oh really?

Bklynzballer: ya

Bklynzballer: u got, lucky i didnt have my pliers

MyLeftTesticle: Sure. Well, I’m going to have to get my gang, the Neo West Side, to kick your ass if you do jump me.

Bklynzballer: sure sure

MyLeftTesticle: Don’t believe me?

Bklynzballer: nope

MyLeftTesticle: Just go ahead and jump me then.

Bklynzballer: i’ll get the bloods on you

MyLeftTesticle: Dude, I’m second in rank of the Bloods, you dolt.

Bklynzballer: sure u are ben….sure u are

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, you’ll be thinking that when we tag your house tonight.

Bklynzballer: go head..

Bklynzballer: thanks for the threat

MyLeftTesticle: No problem. I like to give my victims a heads up before we waste ’em.

Bklynzballer: well…ill just tell the cops “you blood member”

MyLeftTesticle: Tell the cops and my gang will kill you.

Bklynzballer: kill me

Bklynzballer: hehehehehe

MyLeftTesticle: You’re right. I’m not really in a gang.

 

Bklynzballer37

This entry is part 4 of 26 in the series Bklynzballer

So Bklynzballer invited Holmes and davepoobond to a chat. This happened on July 7, 2001.

OnlineHost: *** You are in “Bklynzballer37”. ***

Bklynzballer: yo who else is on

OnlineHost: Holmes has entered the room.

Bklynzballer: yo jason i just fucked tracy

davepoobond: are you serious?

Bklynzballer: seriously…

Bklynzballer: she just left

Bklynzballer: jason…whoses on?

Holmes: yeah he was tellin me

Holmes: as he was fuckin her

Bklynzballer: the bed is next to the comp

Holmes: yeah

davepoobond: but why would you be on the computer at the same time?

Bklynzballer: because…umm…i want to brag

Bklynzballer: lol….cuz…i f***ed tracy

Bklynzballer: i putting pics on the internet

davepoobond: you are? lemme see

Holmes: me too

Bklynzballer: anyways….

Bklynzballer: so jay i didnt see u in school today

davepoobond: dont change the subject. give us pictures

davepoobond: i was having a hangover

davepoobond: LSD really gets you high

Bklynzballer: wait…i broke holmes scanner

Holmes: so does MPV, have you tried MPV

davepoobond: i like, hangedover all through fuckin’ day until like the end of 5th period

davepoobond: by then, it was already too late to go to school

Bklynzballer: yo mike…im calling you holmes for now on

Bklynzballer: cuz my name is holmes

Bklynzballer: i mean mike

Holmes: and i’m calling you dicky if you call me holmes

Bklynzballer: its dicky tracy to me

Bklynzballer: lol

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: i get it…Dick…TRACY

davepoobond: hahaha

Bklynzballer: he gets it ten minutes later

Holmes: so tracy has a dick?

Holmes: eww i didn’t know that

Bklynzballer: no…

davepoobond: damn dude, i didnt know you were into transvestites

Holmes: last time i bend over infornt of you

davepoobond: do you have pictures or not?

Bklynzballer: i broke holmes scanner

Bklynzballer: i cant scan them….

davepoobond: what about YOUR scanner

Bklynzballer: i broke it

Holmes: scanners don’t like him

Bklynzballer: i broke everything holmes has

Holmes: yeah

Holmes: its true

Bklynzballer: holmes ..tell jay about the johnny knoxville

Holmes: he tried breaking my virginity

davepoobond: damn dude, pay for it then

Bklynzballer: holmes banned me from his house

Holmes: you called slapping a persons ass a hello, what was i suppose to do?

davepoobond: Ben is on

Holmes: oh yeah he is

Holmes: send him in

Holmes: i forgot his sn

Bklynzballer: same…

Bklynzballer: hmm…maybe ill be his friend

OnlineHost: MyLeftTesticle has entered the room.

MyLeftTesticle: Hello?

Holmes: hey

Bklynzballer: yo ben…

MyLeftTesticle: Sup

Bklynzballer: mike here

MyLeftTesticle: Hi Mike

Holmes: so ben, what did i miss 5th period

Holmes: i was sick today

Bklynzballer: i wonder me and ben never really became friends?

Bklynzballer: ::ponders alittle::

davepoobond: hey, did anyone see Jack today?

MyLeftTesticle: I’m not sure.

davepoobond: Jack Meoff?

MyLeftTesticle: I have a lot of friends at school.

MyLeftTesticle: Jack is one of ’em.

Holmes: yeah

Holmes: jack i heard was gay tho, is it true?

Bklynzballer: jacks ok

davepoobond: you sure?

davepoobond: i heard he had a goozak

MyLeftTesticle: Eh, he’s sorta gay. I told him I wasn’t and that if he tried hitting on me that I’d kick his

Bklynzballer: jack speaks fag

MyLeftTesticle: ass and stuff

davepoobond: he told me he humped trees…

Bklynzballer: ben i can fuck you up

MyLeftTesticle: Ha!

Bklynzballer: but i wont

Holmes: i heard someone called jack gay and jack hit him with his purse

MyLeftTesticle: lol

Bklynzballer: lolo

Bklynzballer: lol

MyLeftTesticle: I was there when it happened.

MyLeftTesticle: He had a brick in his purse

Bklynzballer: i beat up jack

MyLeftTesticle: No, you didn’t.

Bklynzballer: yes i did

MyLeftTesticle: Right.

Bklynzballer: i shot him with my bb gun

MyLeftTesticle: …

Bklynzballer: just kidding

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, you better be kidding.

Holmes: man you just want to feel jack up bk, thats why you want to beat hi,m up

Bklynzballer: fuck up holmes

Holmes: sorry

Holmes: i was just kidding

Bklynzballer: im just kiddin holmes

MyLeftTesticle: You guys, chill.

Holmes: sure you were, tell that to my broken feelings

MyLeftTesticle: Holmes, are you okay?

Bklynzballer: ok

Holmes: no…i’m going to go upstairs and fuck up

Bklynzballer: holmes broken feelings im sorry

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, you better be sorry.

Bklynzballer: lol you do that

davepoobond: how many times did you cornhole Tracy so far?

Bklynzballer: ben mine yo buissness yo

Bklynzballer: 2

MyLeftTesticle: It is my business.

Holmes: did you pork her good?

Bklynzballer: like a dog

davepoobond: why’d she submit to having Anal sex so fast?

MyLeftTesticle: I got some of the brown once.

MyLeftTesticle: She had a small hole then…

MyLeftTesticle: Now, I bet it’s like all big and loose and stuff.

MyLeftTesticle: It was pretty good stuff.

Holmes: yeah rumour has it she uses corn to get her anal needs

MyLeftTesticle: Heh, I wouldn’t doubt it.

Bklynzballer: so ben i guess wer friends?

MyLeftTesticle: I don’t know. I guess.

MyLeftTesticle: I have a lot of friends.

MyLeftTesticle: You could be one of the many.

Bklynzballer: k

MyLeftTesticle: We ever do much together? I can’t remember that well.

Holmes: so ben…what up

Bklynzballer: yo does anyone hav a pic of all 4 of us?

Holmes: i do

davepoobond: why the hell would we have one?

Holmes: but i cut you out

Bklynzballer: lol…why?

MyLeftTesticle: ‘Cause you don’t like gay people

Bklynzballer: was it wen we had a fight

Holmes: yeah

Bklynzballer: ben fuck off

Bklynzballer: dude…seriously

MyLeftTesticle: No, I’m serious too.

Holmes: boys stop fighting

Bklynzballer: ::reads playboy::

Bklynzballer: yo holmes…dont forget my pb

Bklynzballer: tommorrow

Holmes: eww dude how can you read a porno mag that has boy in it’s title

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah.

MyLeftTesticle: That’s kinda sick.

Bklynzballer: ok….it shows girls..

MyLeftTesticle: You gotta get the mags that have like Swanker in the title. Or something…

Bklynzballer: dude..holmes…you have my playboy magazines

Holmes: yeah but my dog went all over them

Holmes: soaking wet

Bklynzballer: ther ures now

Holmes: hey i don’t want your “boy” porno

Bklynzballer: ashley is a big bitch

MyLeftTesticle: No she’s not.

Bklynzballer: thats why you borrowed it

Holmes: shut up!

Holmes: don’t you remeber ben likes her

Bklynzballer: oo

Holmes: idiot!

Bklynzballer: my bad…

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, your bad alright.

Bklynzballer: but dam..she has pimples…no fence

MyLeftTesticle: You better start thinking before you talk.

Holmes: ben whoops his ass

davepoobond: how big are Tracy’s boobies?

Bklynzballer: big

Bklynzballer: ben….fuckin mind ure dam buissness

Holmes: size? like n or m?

Bklynzballer: n

MyLeftTesticle: Actually, back when I cornholed her, she had small ones.

davepoobond: i’m not ben

davepoobond: i’m Jason, remember?

Bklynzballer: im reffering to jimmy

MyLeftTesticle: And hey, this is my business. So, chill man.

Holmes: so she has a N cup

davepoobond: whos Jimmy?

Bklynzballer: yup

Bklynzballer: MyLeftTesticle

davepoobond: oh

MyLeftTesticle: That’s my SN

MyLeftTesticle: Dolt.

Holmes: his name is ben

Holmes: DUH

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, duh.

Bklynzballer: ::cough::

MyLeftTesticle: Need a cough drop?

davepoobond: ::stuffs a broom down mike’s neck::

MyLeftTesticle: heh.

Bklynzballer: mike can i cumova?

Holmes: cum!

Holmes: EWW

MyLeftTesticle: Yuck, dude.

Holmes: YOU SICK BASTARD

Holmes: fine

Bklynzballer: wtf?

MyLeftTesticle: Why do you want to cum over?

Holmes: yeah you can COME over

Bklynzballer: yo holmes let do another jackass

Holmes: but the second you unzip your pants i’m out

davepoobond: lol

MyLeftTesticle: lmao

Bklynzballer: fuck u talkin bout

MyLeftTesticle: Hey, can I come over too?

MyLeftTesticle: I want to do another Jackass too.

Holmes: well your talking about doing some guy named jacks ass

Bklynzballer: ben u did jackass?

MyLeftTesticle: Not jacking off in your ass though.

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, I did it once.

davepoobond: dont forget to put it back in your pants after you used it though

Bklynzballer: i did too

MyLeftTesticle: Jackass is fun.

Bklynzballer: ben what college u goin too?

MyLeftTesticle: What kinda question is that?

Bklynzballer: well…answer

MyLeftTesticle: No, you answer my question.

davepoobond: i’m going to NYU

Holmes: i’m gonna ta NOYB

Bklynzballer: im thinking off going to nyu cal state or ucla

davepoobond: umm…on second thought

davepoobond: i’m going to pepperdine

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, UCLA is the place to be.

MyLeftTesticle: What?!

Holmes: how about UCONN

MyLeftTesticle: Pepperdine?!

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, UCONN sounds nice.

Holmes: or ASSHO?

MyLeftTesticle: Oh that sounds even better.

Bklynzballer: or unc

MyLeftTesticle: …

MyLeftTesticle: No.

Holmes: UNC! WHATS WRONG WITH YOU DUDE

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, I know, right.

Holmes: seriously i’m disowning you as my bitch

MyLeftTesticle: Word.

Bklynzballer: dude …they have like the best college basketball team

davepoobond: i’m gonna drown Tracy, can i do that?

Holmes: hey ben you can have this bitch for 5 dollars

Bklynzballer: sure…

MyLeftTesticle: You’re going because of BASKETBALL?!

davepoobond: yay!

MyLeftTesticle: I don’t want him.

MyLeftTesticle: Keep him.

Bklynzballer: ill help

MyLeftTesticle: B-ball is the worst sport in the world.

Bklynzballer: is anyone on?

davepoobond: no

MyLeftTesticle: I hate it now since the Lakers lost last nihgt.

davepoobond: not on my buddy list

MyLeftTesticle: night*

Bklynzballer: cuz you suck at it

MyLeftTesticle: I’m a good point gaurd

Bklynzballer: lakers are gunna win

Holmes: no now there not going to win

Holmes: cause you wished them luck

Holmes: thansk alot

davepoobond: Kobe is gay

Holmes: i had $50 on the game

MyLeftTesticle: The Lakers lost so bad last night.

Bklynzballer: fuck off mike

Holmes: …

MyLeftTesticle: …

davepoobond: …

MyLeftTesticle: Tisk, tisk, tisk.

Bklynzballer: there tellin koybe not to pass the ball

MyLeftTesticle: Bad bitch.

MyLeftTesticle: Well, he sucks.

MyLeftTesticle: Shaq all the way!

Bklynzballer: rick fox is good

Bklynzballer: and fisher

davepoobond: rick fox is a bastard

davepoobond: fisher should just fish

Holmes: i’ve been dissed by a bitch

Bklynzballer: lol

davepoobond: i know the lakers personally

MyLeftTesticle: Well, basket ball sucks now.

Bklynzballer: that bitch must be tracy

Bklynzballer: or…nevermind

davepoobond: hey, whats Tracy’s sn?

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah?

MyLeftTesticle: What is it?

Holmes: i got that bitch firday night

MyLeftTesticle: I had it somewhere, but I lost it.

Holmes: i called !

davepoobond: MIKE! WHATS TRACY’S SN? i wanna see if shes on

Bklynzballer: dude…she wont be on shes sore

davepoobond: whats it matter

Holmes: of what? a toothpick porking her?

Bklynzballer: dude..was that you?

davepoobond: was that who?

Bklynzballer: mike

Bklynzballer: cuz wen i went to the bathroom she said it felt like a tootth pick was porking her

Holmes: ?

davepoobond: lol!

Holmes: yeh…i snook into yhour house and porked her

Holmes: then snook out

MyLeftTesticle: Heh.

davepoobond: i had a few shots at her too

Bklynzballer: with a tooth pick

MyLeftTesticle: I did, once.

Holmes: without a trace

Bklynzballer: there was a trace of toothpicks

davepoobond: dude. seriously. give me a picture, or her sn.

Bklynzballer: no…

davepoobond: why not

Bklynzballer: wen the site is open

davepoobond: when will that be?

Bklynzballer: in about 2 weeks

Bklynzballer: i dumped tracy

davepoobond: lol.

Holmes: wow

MyLeftTesticle: Dude, so she’s available?

Holmes: what was that

davepoobond: you cornholed her twice then dumped her?

Bklynzballer: she was begginning to get slutty

Holmes: a wam-bam-thank you ma’am?

MyLeftTesticle: I just want her to suck me off.

Bklynzballer: yup…thats the way

davepoobond: heh

davepoobond: give me the site when you get it up

MyLeftTesticle: No, a wam-wam-bam-thank-you-ma’am.

Holmes: you can’t add 2 wams

MyLeftTesticle: Oh, you can’t?

Holmes: i mean a tooth pick can only handle so much

MyLeftTesticle: lol

MyLeftTesticle: True.

Bklynzballer: no a wam-wam-wam-wam-bam-bam-bam-thankkkkkkk you man

Bklynzballer: thats you holmes

Bklynzballer: mam**

MyLeftTesticle: Um…It’s a little bit longer than that, dude.

Holmes: EWW

Holmes: man

Holmes: lol

MyLeftTesticle: lol

Bklynzballer: meant mam

MyLeftTesticle: Man.

MyLeftTesticle: Ma’am*

MyLeftTesticle: You have bad grammar.

davepoobond: you’re a sick mother fucker. you just said you fucked a squirrel?

MyLeftTesticle: Ew.

Holmes: EW

MyLeftTesticle: Disgusting!

Bklynzballer: so ben you like ashley?

davepoobond: wamwamwam means “squirrel”

Bklynzballer: no thats a squirrel

Holmes: what a coicidence! my pet squirrel is named tracy

Bklynzballer: cool

Holmes: and shes missing!

Bklynzballer: so was mine

Bklynzballer: wait…shes missing

davepoobond: cuz u dumped her

Holmes: ew dude./..how could you…

Holmes: my own squirrel

Bklynzballer: well…like you said holmes…she was being a bitch

davepoobond: send her over to my house then

Holmes: true she was talkin about nuts

davepoobond: i’ll knock the bitch outta her

Bklynzballer: well i shaved the hair off her

Bklynzballer: if thats what you mean

davepoobond: that must’ve been……fun….

Bklynzballer: she doesnt clEAN IT

Bklynzballer: i had a mask over me

Holmes: ew

MyLeftTesticle: Heh.

Bklynzballer: but then…she asked me to clean her

Bklynzballer: and i said …well…if you let me clean you coochie

Bklynzballer: she said

Bklynzballer: sure

Bklynzballer: ::so we were cleaning::

MyLeftTesticle: Dude, that’s just sick now.

MyLeftTesticle: Shut up.

Bklynzballer: ok

Holmes: coochie coochie goo

davepoobond: tell me more

Bklynzballer: after we had sex i lighted a ciggarrette

davepoobond: dude. why do you smoke?

Holmes: marlboro or kool?

davepoobond: you just smell funny

Bklynzballer: its fun after sex

davepoobond: no…..

Bklynzballer: marlboro

davepoobond: whats so fun about smoking? you just breathe

Holmes: lights or menthol or shit-tasting

Bklynzballer: breathe hard

MyLeftTesticle: Smoking isn’t cool…Unless it’s weed!

Holmes: yeah!

Bklynzballer: i was playing

Holmes: the wacky-tobaccy

MyLeftTesticle: Hey Holmes, you gonna bring that ten tomorrow?

Bklynzballer: u know like in movies after sex they smoke

Holmes: damn straight

davepoobond: movies are stupid

davepoobond: and those are from the 1980s

Bklynzballer: holmes you got weed?

MyLeftTesticle: Cool. You gonna bring your pipe too?

davepoobond: like in Twins

davepoobond: with Arnold Schwarzenegger

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, Holmes grows it in his backyard

Bklynzballer: DAM…pass some down

Holmes: i just got a new bong, we have to try it out!

Holmes: yup

MyLeftTesticle: Cool!

MyLeftTesticle: What kinda bong?

davepoobond: dude. i have a bong that 5 people can use at the same time

Holmes: it’s for 5 people

MyLeftTesticle: Awesome!

davepoobond: and it can use a pound of weed at the same time

Bklynzballer: cool

MyLeftTesticle: O.O

MyLeftTesticle: No freakin’ way!

davepoobond: if you really stuff it in, it gets up to 1 pound and a half

MyLeftTesticle: A POUND of weed?!

Holmes: i also have Half Baked on tape!

Holmes: A POUND!

davepoobond: yeah, i’m the bong making master

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah!

Holmes: i have an acre!

Bklynzballer: dam

MyLeftTesticle: lol

Holmes: right in my back yard

MyLeftTesticle: Acre

davepoobond: yeah, holmes supplies me

MyLeftTesticle: Dude, your yard isn’t that big you dolt.

davepoobond: and i get 5 people high each shot

MyLeftTesticle: Holmes supplies the whole damn school.

davepoobond: and they pay me for it too

Bklynzballer: ok…ill bring the drinks

MyLeftTesticle: Drinks?!

Bklynzballer: house um..koolaid?

Holmes: they call me Hash wit da stash

davepoobond: koolaid sucks

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah!

Bklynzballer: lol

davepoobond: put some LSD in it, and we’ll call it a deal

Holmes: how about kool aid with WEED

MyLeftTesticle: Hash. I remember that from back in the day…

Bklynzballer: holmes stash me

Holmes: you got the doh

MyLeftTesticle: I have 20 bucks.

Bklynzballer: holmes remeber wen we first smoked weed

MyLeftTesticle: No…

Holmes: no

davepoobond: no

Bklynzballer: i dont either

MyLeftTesticle: lol

Bklynzballer: hehehe

MyLeftTesticle: You tend not remember a lot when you smoke weed.

Bklynzballer: lol

MyLeftTesticle: But, you two didn’t smoke weed together for the first time.

Holmes: some people smoke themselves retarded and make up stories of smoking weed with friends

MyLeftTesticle: Me and Holmes were at a rave and we got so F-ed up it was awesome.

MyLeftTesticle: It was our first time too.

Holmes: yeah i couldn’t walk afterwards

MyLeftTesticle: Same here

davepoobond: i was at that rave

MyLeftTesticle: I was like “What’s goin’ on? I can’t feel my legs!”

davepoobond: i got a blow from 3 hot chicks, the same night

Holmes: thats where we met james

Bklynzballer: i was there

Holmes: no

Bklynzballer: dam…

Holmes: you weren’t

Holmes: cause you wouldn’t have remebered

MyLeftTesticle: No, this was what, in Arizona?

Holmes: who cares

MyLeftTesticle: The rave was in AZ, right?

Holmes: i don’t remeber

MyLeftTesticle: Eh, me either.

Bklynzballer: we got to hav anotha rave

MyLeftTesticle: No.

Holmes: no

Bklynzballer: man…wen i first had weed

MyLeftTesticle: The first time was a week ago, right?

Bklynzballer: i went to the park and i was like telling everyone your my dad and mom

Bklynzballer: no…

MyLeftTesticle: You just want to act all cool in front of us.

Holmes: what kind was it? Northern lights or AK-47?

Bklynzballer: ak-47 is a gun

davepoobond: same thing

Holmes: it is?

davepoobond: an AK-47 is actually a type of Bong i made

davepoobond: its special

Holmes: oh i get it it’s a gun that can “shot you up” with being high

davepoobond: it has 47 places to smoke weed

Holmes: WHOA

MyLeftTesticle: Woah!

Bklynzballer: cool

Holmes: DUDE

davepoobond: but, unfortunately it only has 1 ounce capacity

MyLeftTesticle: Heh.

MyLeftTesticle: That sucks.

davepoobond: because you have to drill a hole in the table

Holmes: yeah

davepoobond: so that all the people can put their mouths on it

Holmes: remeber bk when you got all drunk?

Bklynzballer: yup

Holmes: well i don’t

Holmes: what time was that

Bklynzballer: never

Bklynzballer: i was drunk

Holmes: …

Holmes: umm

Bklynzballer: ….

Holmes: ok?!?!?

Bklynzballer: …

Bklynzballer: …

Bklynzballer: …

Holmes: dude now your turning gay

Bklynzballer: anyways…

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, gay.

Holmes: so…

Bklynzballer: sure,sure

MyLeftTesticle: So, bring the weed tomorrow, okay Holmes?

Holmes: ok

Holmes: we’ll smoke till we choke

Bklynzballer: holmes wer u bringin the weed

Holmes: what are you?

Holmes: a cop?

Holmes: HUH

Holmes: going to tell on me

Bklynzballer: no….

MyLeftTesticle: Heh, don’t tell dude.

MyLeftTesticle: I’ll have to get my gang on your ass.

Holmes: be like “oh holmes is doing marijuana and it’s bad for you”

Holmes: we’ll do it by the river

MyLeftTesticle: I’m in the Neo West Side gang.

Bklynzballer: and im in the bond gang

MyLeftTesticle: Man, you know there’s all them bums at the river. I don’t want to be wasting weed just to

Bklynzballer: with jason

Holmes: then i have to supply some to Charles the pot-head-and-crack-fiend

MyLeftTesticle: keep them quiet and stuff.

Holmes: yeah true

MyLeftTesticle: Dude, Bk, I’m not bullshittin’ ya.

MyLeftTesticle: My gang will kill you.

Bklynzballer: fuck i didnt say anythin yo

MyLeftTesticle: I don’t play around with stuff this serious.

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, you were gonna tell the cops on us and stuff.

Bklynzballer: no..

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, you better not say anything.

Bklynzballer: yo holmes this is zack

Bklynzballer: mike went out with tracy

MyLeftTesticle: I’ll have one of the new guys watch you…

MyLeftTesticle: We’ll be keeping an eye on you Bk.

Holmes: hey zack want some crack

Bklynzballer: hes in the kitchen with her

Holmes: hey that rhymes

Holmes: lol

Bklynzballer: sure

Holmes: no you don’t!

Holmes: I don’t sell crack, crack-head

Holmes: go get your crack somewhere else, crack-baby

Holmes: your so full of crack, i can see your crack-head ears filled with crack smoke’

Bklynzballer: mike gunna giv me some

MyLeftTesticle: Dude, I got a craving for something that I used to eat back in the day…

MyLeftTesticle: What was it called?…

MyLeftTesticle: Oh yeah…

MyLeftTesticle: Pussy.

Bklynzballer: “hot dogs”

MyLeftTesticle: I ate your mom’s pussy once…

MyLeftTesticle: It was pretty rotten.

MyLeftTesticle: It stunk like dead fish.

Holmes: eww you have a craving for man hot dogs bk

MyLeftTesticle: I was like “Damn bitch, you should clean that shit out!”

OnlineHost: Holmes has left the room.

MyLeftTesticle: Hey, why’d Holmes leave?

OnlineHost: Holmes has entered the room.

MyLeftTesticle: Hey!

Holmes: back

MyLeftTesticle: Where’d you go?

Holmes: had to make a quick drug deal

MyLeftTesticle: Oh, good times.

MyLeftTesticle: How much did ya make?

Holmes: 20

Holmes: thousand

Holmes: it was a truck load

davepoobond: i’m shaping a new 50 person bong in Ceramics class, but no one knows its a bong

Holmes: it’s chump change

Bklynzballer: ::coughs::

davepoobond: i just call it “tube tree”

MyLeftTesticle: Heh

MyLeftTesticle: Tube…

MyLeftTesticle: Hahah

Holmes: lol tree

davepoobond: the base is gonna have a diameter of 10 inches

davepoobond: almost a fuckin foot

Holmes: lol have

Holmes: sorry i just hit my bong

davepoobond: is it one of mine that i made for you?

Holmes: yeah

Holmes: that 10 foot one

Holmes: had to stand on a stool

davepoobond: oh yeah..

davepoobond: you can put it on the wall too

Holmes: you can!

davepoobond: if you want to decorate your walls

Holmes: wow

davepoobond: stain it

Holmes: LOL LOL LOL look at me i’m typing

davepoobond: with the marijuana color

MyLeftTesticle: Dude, I got the munchies.

Holmes: lets eat Bk, no one will miss him

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah.

MyLeftTesticle: But he’s all stringy and stuff.

MyLeftTesticle: Not a good meal.

Holmes: besides bk stands for burger king

MyLeftTesticle: Eh, Burger King is a good place to eat.

Bklynzballer: wutever

Holmes: shut up dinner

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah.

MyLeftTesticle: Bitch.

MyLeftTesticle: If you were here right now Bk, I’d slap you.

Holmes: you gonna take that Bk?

Holmes: HUH

Holmes: gonna take that like the bitch you are

MyLeftTesticle: Of course he is, he’s everyone’s bitch.

Bklynzballer: no…he likes ashley..thats a big enough diss

MyLeftTesticle: Ha!

MyLeftTesticle: Hmm…

Holmes: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

davepoobond: dude, baller, change your font

MyLeftTesticle: Well, Ashley sucks dick better than your mom.

Holmes: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

Bklynzballer: i see you tested mikes mom cuz this is not mike

MyLeftTesticle: Doesn’t matter.

davepoobond: hahahahahahahaahhahahahaha

Holmes: OH

Holmes: your mom is an elephant

MyLeftTesticle: Mike’s mom was pretty hot, dude.

Holmes: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

MyLeftTesticle: She’s got tits that gigle with every step she takes.

Holmes: lol!

MyLeftTesticle: It gives me a boner just thinking about it…

Holmes: his mom…naked…oh a bear skin rug

Holmes: oh=on

Bklynzballer: mikes back

MyLeftTesticle: His mom is a bear!

Bklynzballer: yo guys

Bklynzballer: im back

Holmes:

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

MyLeftTesticle: All hairy and shit.

Holmes: shut up mike

Bklynzballer: i just came back

Holmes: you made me mad

Holmes: just ignoring us

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah, me too.

Holmes: like were notihng

MyLeftTesticle: And that diss about Ashley.

Bklynzballer: holmes dissed her yesterday

Bklynzballer: that she was hairy

Bklynzballer: and had pimples like a dog

Holmes: LIAR!

MyLeftTesticle: Pimples like a dog?

Bklynzballer: you said that

Holmes: wtf?

MyLeftTesticle: You mean tits like a dog

MyLeftTesticle: dumb dumb

davepoobond: haha. doggie tits

Bklynzballer: tits like a rat

Holmes: i’m not that dumb that i would say: ‘pimples like a dog”

Bklynzballer: actually…..

OnlineHost: Bklynzballer: has left the room.

Holmes: hmm

Holmes: he left

Holmes: please stand by

Holmes: >>>Intermission<<<

OnlineHost: Bklynzballer: has entered the room.

OnlineHost: Bklynzballer: has left the room.

MyLeftTesticle: Intermission!

MyLeftTesticle: Haha!

MyLeftTesticle: What a dolt…

MyLeftTesticle: Can we step out of character now?

Holmes: yeah

MyLeftTesticle: That was amuzing.

Holmes: that was funny

MyLeftTesticle: Yeah.

davepoobond: lol

MyLeftTesticle: What a moron.

davepoobond: what an IDIOT

MyLeftTesticle: lmao

Holmes: WHAT A STUPID ASS

MyLeftTesticle: Um, what a dolt.

Holmes: i swear that would lok great on squackle

MyLeftTesticle: Word

MyLeftTesticle: This should be a special feature or something.

Holmes: lol yeah

Holmes: “Squakles stupidest people”

Holmes: Bklynzballer [7:52 PM]: i just food remember…

davepoobond: lol

Holmes: can anyone translate that?

davepoobond: i just food remember

Holmes: Bklynzballer [7:52 PM]: no one would care remeber just eat me

davepoobond: LOOOOOLLLLLL

MyLeftTesticle: Heh, what a moron.

Holmes: this just SPEAKS and he immediatly gets on squakle

davepoobond: lol

davepoobond: i’ll put this guy up on Stupid People

davepoobond: wait

davepoobond: Screwed Up People

davepoobond: its a new section

Holmes: make a whjole new section

Holmes: “Stupides people”

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: Screwed Up People

Holmes: k

MyLeftTesticle: No

davepoobond: in the Screwed Up Chronicles

MyLeftTesticle: Squackle’s Stupidest People

davepoobond: NO

MyLeftTesticle: YES!!

davepoobond: forget you

MyLeftTesticle: Okay

Holmes: Holmes [7:54 PM]: fine

MyLeftTesticle: ::forgotten::

Holmes: Holmes [7:55 PM]: be a party pooper

Holmes: Bklynzballer [7:55 PM]: im not a party pooper im food

davepoobond: 😛

MyLeftTesticle: He’s poop food

davepoobond: great

 

What the Critics Say About Squackle

“Ummm…….can we all say that’s a fucked up site??” – whitemagic

“I never squackled in public until I saw this site.” – BALTAUR SAMA

“Squackle just SQUACKS me up!” – D-Fiance

“Squackle made me piss myself, now i laugh wet” – D-Fiance

“o.o;; no” – Korinu

“Um, a collection of odd stuff?” – Para

“Squackle is God” – Vegichan

“Squackle is the place to go to find the cheapest chicken and turkey prices” – Valin Consulting

“Its…weird?” – Ko-chan

“Its a nice funny site with funny stuff there” – Jippii CEO the CEO of Jippii

“Heh…I dunno” – Bob

“This site has a very deep, profound point. No, I have no clue what it is either and if you know commit yourself. As for me, I submitted stuff to this site and am going to take a bath… I feel all dirty.” – Phoenix

“Every time I’m sitting on the pot and taking a dump I think of Squackle” – MyLeftTesticle

“I want to marry squackle!!!!” – The Peaman Thats Not a Man

“I like squackle… in spanish ducks go cua cua…I have mad cow disease…I like chinese.. WOW that rhymes!” – doughnut

“I love peas, well actually I dont, they are gross, and i also like unicorns and long walks on the beach, and um, also, mmmm.. animal sex.. I love squackle.. mooo” – The Peaman Thats Not a Man

“You are all evil … its great!! I love your site” – Stevo

“…Good….[not] bad…..kill [er]…person who made this site [rules]” – Sane Times

“hi my name’s ralph an i think your site sicks ass.  =D” – Poophead

“I’m not gonna waste my data for your stupid web site” – Add None