Quote #18502: Managerial Smartity

Recently, a magazine ran a contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life managers. Here are some of the submissions:

As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp in Redmond, WA.)

What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping)

E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

This project is so important, we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them. (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

Quote from the Boss: “Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.” (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

We recently received a memo from senior management saying: “This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above.” (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)

One day my Boss asked for a status report concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said “If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!” (New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards.)

 

Joke #9295: The Old Man and the C: Prompt

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define great, he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

 

Joke #9212

There are four engineers traveling in a car. One is a mechanical engineer, one a chemical engineer, one an electrical engineer and the other one an engineer from Microsoft.

The car breaks down.

“Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We’ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again,” says the mechanical engineer.

“Well,” says the chemical engineer, “it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system.”

“I thought it might be a grounding problem,” says the electrical engineer, “or maybe a faulty plug lead.”

They all turn to the Microsoft engineer who has said nothing and say. They ask him, “What do you think?”

“Well, I think we should close all the windows, get out, get back in, and open the windows again.”

 

Collapse Deluxe (PC) Review

Developer: Microsoft

  Collapse Deluxe (PC) (1.3 MiB, 1,035 hits)

Game by Microsoft.

Overview:

Collapse Deluxe is the deluxe version of Collapse, and as you may or may not know, Collapse is a game that looks kind of like Tetris, but isn’t. In this game, you point and click, over and over and over. You have to click the different colored boxes if there is 3 or more connected. Not diagonally though, that would be too easy.

Graphics:

There are some purdy boxes there.

Sound:

They are good sounds for a game that you click boxes.

Gameplay:

Its easy gameplay, you point and click and hope you don’t get the boxes all the way up to the top without being able to click anything. The boxes appear out of the bottom, and as you go on through the levels it goes faster…so you have to go faster. Don’t be frightened about the bomb though, it won’t hurt you, it’ll actually help you, cause it blows the shit out of everything around it. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Crappiest Part:

The replay value. I don’t really like playing this game at all too much. All you do is click fucking boxes, and they disappear! What is fun about this? Oh wow they make a sparkle when they disappear or there’s a bomb that blows the shit boxes up. Big whoop. I saw Collapse Deluxe II when I was getting the download link for this game, so maybe there’s a little hope for a better game.

Overall Score:

Since this is a professional game, and not a game made by an amatuer, its on a different scale of what I would rate it. But the score is on the same scale. 2/10.

  Collapse Deluxe (PC) (1.3 MiB, 1,035 hits)

Game by Microsoft.