#10962: davepoobond -> MadManWithAnAxe

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series Dave's Phone Number?

davepoobond: why’d you call me

MadManWithAnAxe: I didn’t

davepoobond: how did you even get my number

MadManWithAnAxe: Was it really your number?

davepoobond: yeah…

MadManWithAnAxe: it got an error thing

davepoobond: oh

MadManWithAnAxe: 523 848 0334

MadManWithAnAxe: that’s not it, is it?

davepoobond: it is

davepoobond: actually it isn’t, i was just jerkin your chain. ha ha ha oh boy.

MadManWithAnAxe: heh heh heh, I’ll leave that message out of my conversation with btt

davepoobond: k. you dont have my sn sending to him do you

davepoobond: i’m guessing you did

davepoobond: since stimpyismyname just sent it back to me

MadManWithAnAxe: I copied what you said

 

#10961: blowthetoad -> stimpyismyname

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series Dave's Phone Number?

blowthetoad: eh whats dave’s phone number

blowthetoad: me and madmanwithanaxe would love to know it

stimpyismyname: 523 848 0334

stimpyismyname: …oh shit

blowthetoad: are you serious?

stimpyismyname: no

stimpyismyname: dont dial it

blowthetoad: 848 0334 is a bakery in atlanta

blowthetoad: you’ve betrayed me

stimpyismyname: heh

blowthetoad: >:o

blowthetoad: wait…. you did say he worked in a bakery

blowthetoad: does he live in atlanta now?

stimpyismyname: maaaaybe

blowthetoad: maaaaybe not? 🙁

stimpyismyname: ask for john

blowthetoad: omg it worked

stimpyismyname: cool

stimpyismyname: whatd he say

blowthetoad: “yeah who’s this?”

blowthetoad: and i was like “blowtheto… er… your mom”

blowthetoad: then giggled like a school girl and hung up

stimpyismyname: heh

stimpyismyname: you fool

blowthetoad: fool im not

blowthetoad: you believed me

blowthetoad: 😉

stimpyismyname: ah

stimpyismyname: i meant fool for hanging up… but whatever

blowthetoad: you believed me again

blowthetoad: DOUBLE WHAMMY!!!

stimpyismyname: ok..

blowthetoad: i didnt even dial it

blowthetoad: madman did

stimpyismyname: good for you

stimpyismyname: pussy

blowthetoad: i am what i eat

blowthetoad: OOOOH

blowthetoad: I GOT YOU THURR DOGG!

 

#10950: davepoobond -> MadManWithAnAxe

davepoobond: rawr

MadManWithAnAxe: meow

davepoobond: sometimes when i type, a space magically appears at the end of what i type

MadManWithAnAxe: You should investigate

MadManWithAnAxe: ask around

davepoobond: i’ve got other conspiracies i’m working on. like how i’m going to bullshit so much on my personal essays because i’ve done nothing with my life

davepoobond: and wondering why that actually came about

davepoobond: and the reason is — piracy

davepoobond: since piracy seems to be the root of all problems in the world lately

davepoobond: why can’t i blame it too

davepoobond: har har har har i’m going craaazzzyyy and its because i download mp3 files!

davepoobond: i support communism!

davepoobond: stalin is my hero. if stalin were alive today, he’d support filesharing too

MadManWithAnAxe: FUCK THE POLICE!! DOWNLOAD LINKIN PARK MP3S!!!!

MadManWithAnAxe: And F*** censorship too

MadManWithAnAxe: and fuck political correctness, it’s retarded

davepoobond: yeah

davepoobond: especially political correctness

davepoobond: i hate that bullshit

davepoobond: how they always have some person in a wheel chair

davepoobond: or something insignificant, like a leg brace

 

#10892: blowthetoad -> davepoobond

blowthetoad was on a different screen name than he usually used.  Not to mention, he was saying he was someone else (another persona, basically) that davepoobond knew. davepoobond didn’t know that “larkin” was blowthetoad at the time.

blowthetoad: …how did you know?

davepoobond: how did i know what

blowthetoad: <larkin

davepoobond: what about him

blowthetoad: i am larkin

davepoobond: oh ok

davepoobond: how did i know what

blowthetoad: that madman knew flash

davepoobond: uhhh

blowthetoad: i’m not making any sence am i?

 

#10887: davepoobond -> MadManWithAnAxe

This entry is part 2 of 4 in the series Can I Has Kidz Bop?

davepoobond: do you know where i can get all the Kidz Bop albums for free

MadManWithAnAxe: ……………………….. no

MadManWithAnAxe: kazaa maybe

davepoobond: i know that, but riaa

davepoobond: and also i dont think many people will want those songs to be distributed anyway

davepoobond: cause they’re so horrible

MadManWithAnAxe: yeah

 

#10742: MadManWithAnAxe -> Holmes

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: It’s mean to name your kid Fuckface.

Holmes: ha

Holmes: how true

Holmes: and yet…

Holmes: how hilarious

MadManWithAnAxe: hehe

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: All the money in the world can’t buy your dignity back if someone videotapes you trying to give oral pleasure to a lawn gnome.

Holmes: damn there goes all my hopes for my dignity back

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Polar bears do not like complimentary ass massages.

Holmes: have you tried it? don’t knock it until you try it

MadManWithAnAxe: hahaha

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: If you’re going to attempt to stick your head up someone elses anal cavity, it’s probably in your best interest to wear goggles.

Holmes: well that brings new meaning to the term: i can’t see shit

MadManWithAnAxe: HAHA

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: It’s not against the law to put a litter of kittens into your mouth…but it should be.

Holmes: whats wrong with eating more then one pussy at once?

MadManWithAnAxe: HEH

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: A human face doesn’t taste as good as I thought it would.

Holmes: oh well..theres always hope in eating a dogs face

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: I’ll bet everyone without legs has a funny story to tell.

Holmes: hah…uncle benny cut his legs off because we wouldn’t feed him his second dinner!

MadManWithAnAxe: hehehehe, that’s great

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Just because the space-gnomes inside your head tell you to, it’s never a good idea to staple yourself to pogo stick and yell “BEWARE!: I AM POGO-BOY, THE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE UNIVERSE!” People might think you’re crazy.

Holmes: it’s sooo typical of people to judge me just because i am pogo-boy…will the racism ever end?

MadManWithAnAxe: HEH

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: You may think it’s cool to dress up in hot pants and a ten gallon hat and attend random people’s funeruls and sing 80’s style karaoke , but you’re really just making an ass out of yourself.

Holmes: ….NOW you tell me

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: I wouldn’t exactly know from experience, but I’ll bet it’s pretty hard to hide a penguin in your ass.

Holmes: well, sorry to burst your bubble, but remeber hearing about penny, the famous penguin that ran away from the circus? guess where he is…

MadManWithAnAxe: :-DHAHAHA

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: You’d think having sex with a mattress would be more satisfying than it actually is.

Holmes: water bed’s are oh so sexy!

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: It’s never a good idea to masturbate and ski at the same time.

Holmes: oh yeah…oh yeah i’m coming…i’m coming…i’m com- *splat* poor joe, took a whole box of viagra before he went skiing…and hit a tree…what a way to go…

MadManWithAnAxe: hah

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Just because you have the means to fit a midget into your ass, doesn’t make it right.

Holmes: well…penny needed a friend

MadManWithAnAxe: HEEHEEHE

MadManWithAnAxe: ;-)that was good

MadManWithAnAxe: you should be famous

Holmes: heh i doubt i could be

Holmes: damn i hate when people IM you when your typing a sentence

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Sex with a microwave isn’t very pleasurable.

Holmes: that’s because your only suppose to do anal

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: To be impaled on a toothbrush…that’s gotta be a crappy way to die.

Holmes: not as crappy as dieing in someone’s ass

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: All the drugs in the world cannot equal the fun of poking a hobo with a sharpened stick.

Holmes: poking a hobo who’s on all the drugs in the world at once with a sharp stick, now that’s FUNNY!

MadManWithAnAxe: hehe

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: Injecting anti-freeze into your scrotum may make people think you’re cool, but what would your parents think?

Holmes: well, i perfer my penis NOT to shrivel up when it’s cold…people will think i’m on the “short” side

MadManWithAnAxe: heeeeeeeey, that’s actually not a bad idea

Holmes: yeah…now if only i could stop my nipples from getting hard…

MadManWithAnAxe: FUN FACT!: If you’re eating a sandwich, and the sandwich starts mumbling at you in Latin, it’s probably best just to put it down and just walk away.

Holmes: but first kill it before it plans to take over the world…and steal it’s tomatos

 

#10601: HazMatt911 -> MadManWithAnAxe

HazMatt911: back

MadManWithAnAxe: ummm….hi

MadManWithAnAxe: You might like this (its a link to dolphinsex.com)

HazMatt911: u jerk

MadManWithAnAxe: WHAT?

HazMatt911: do u play

HazMatt911: do u

MadManWithAnAxe: ummm……sure

HazMatt911: u wear boxers

MadManWithAnAxe: ummmm….sure

HazMatt911: how big is pole

MadManWithAnAxe: umm…..around 2″ to 2 1/2″

HazMatt911: that is how big ur dick is

MadManWithAnAxe: approximately

HazMatt911: how tall r u

MadManWithAnAxe: i already told you 2′ 6″

HazMatt911: k

MadManWithAnAxe: i can barely reach the keyboard

MadManWithAnAxe: hello?

HazMatt911: hey

MadManWithAnAxe: i like putting things in my butt!

HazMatt911: great

MadManWithAnAxe: I think i love you

MadManWithAnAxe: i wanna have your children

MadManWithAnAxe: FINE!

MadManWithAnAxe: i guess we can never be together

MadManWithAnAxe: i thought we had something special, you and me

MadManWithAnAxe: but i guess it was all just a game!

MadManWithAnAxe: Why?!?!?

 

#10592: MadManWithAnAxe -> davepoobond

MadManWithAnAxe: well, well, well

davepoobond: eh eh eh?

MadManWithAnAxe: look what the cat dragged in

MadManWithAnAxe: if it isn’t mister slap-happy himself

davepoobond: look what your MOM dragged in

davepoobond: hahaha

MadManWithAnAxe: awwwwwwww

MadManWithAnAxe: :'( you can be so cruel sometimes, davey

davepoobond: sorry

MadManWithAnAxe: it’s ok

MadManWithAnAxe: i know what it feels like to be anally raped by my father….wait…no i don’t…sorry, i can’t help you

davepoobond: hmm

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m sorry, i’m all out of bananas

 

#10591: MadManWithAnAxe -> davepoobond

MadManWithAnAxe: well, well, well

davepoobond: hi

MadManWithAnAxe: well?

davepoobond: well what

MadManWithAnAxe: i was hoping you knew

davepoobond: well i dont

MadManWithAnAxe: so…i have found your weakness

davepoobond: darn

davepoobond: :-$

MadManWithAnAxe: :-X

MadManWithAnAxe: i implore you to reconsider

davepoobond: what

MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me

 

#8585: MadManWithAnAxe -> masteryoda

MadManWithAnAxe: shut the fuck up! i need total concentration……

masteryoda: i’m not sayin anything damn!

MadManWithAnAxe: Didn’t you hear me the first time! shut up!

masteryoda: and didn’t you hear me? CAUSE I’M NOT SAYIN SHIT!

MadManWithAnAxe: DUDE, IF YOU DON’T CUT THAT SHIT OUT I’M GONNA HACK AT YOUR
ANKLES WITH A SCREWDRIVER

masteryoda: and i’ll shove that screw driver so far up your ass you’ll bleed
from your mouth

MadManWithAnAxe: I’M GONNA GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES WITH A CLAW HAMMER AND MAKE
LOVE TO THE SOCKETS IF YOU DON’T SHUT THE HELL UP

masteryoda: your weird man

MadManWithAnAxe: i should ask you the same question

masteryoda: what the hell are you on?

MadManWithAnAxe: DON’T EAT ME GRANDPA!

masteryoda: i’m 16 smartass

MadManWithAnAxe: smartass is ssatrams backwards!

 

#8584: r carter -> MadManWithAnAxe

r carter: BYE

MadManWithAnAxe: i once knew a man from nantucket!

r carter: what part of bye don’t u get

r carter: it means your not going to talk to someone for a period of time

MadManWithAnAxe: the e

r carter: so bye

MadManWithAnAxe: see by

MadManWithAnAxe: and bye are different

MadManWithAnAxe: why?

MadManWithAnAxe: why an E

MadManWithAnAxe: why not an A

MadManWithAnAxe: why can’t we say BYA!

MadManWithAnAxe: or BYO

MadManWithAnAxe: or even BYU

MadManWithAnAxe: i don’t get it

r carter: yeah u would think about that kinda thing woudn’t u

MadManWithAnAxe: U U U it’s all about U isn’t it

r carter: NO YOU

MadManWithAnAxe: ME?

r carter: YES

MadManWithAnAxe: or YOU

r carter: NO

MadManWithAnAxe: which you do you mean?

r carter: YOU

MadManWithAnAxe: YOU as in YOU or YOU as in ME

MadManWithAnAxe: ?

r carter: YOU AS N YOU

MadManWithAnAxe: YOU? or ME?

r carter: YOU

r carter: fine

r carter: bye

MadManWithAnAxe: ME?

r carter: yepperz

MadManWithAnAxe: then why didn’t you say so?

r carter: i didn

r carter: did

r carter: like htousand time s

MadManWithAnAxe: no…you said YOU…not ME

MadManWithAnAxe: I’m ME …you’re YOU

r carter: kljefjadfl k;ajsdflkja sdfljl;kdjsf sdafoiweruoia7us rifajsdfklas
fjlasflkjalskdfja8 aoer8792e4857923485wrkjc lfja ljnlksmfl/asdjpdjfskld fkasdjf;

MadManWithAnAxe: not the other way around dumbass

r carter: i am not the dumbass YOU ARE

MadManWithAnAxe: YOU?

r carter: NO

MadManWithAnAxe: then why did you say YOU?

r carter:
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hh

r carter: im not in the mood to think

r carter: see yyyyaaaaaaa

MadManWithAnAxe: YA? ya as in ME or YOU?

r carter: you

MadManWithAnAxe: YOU?

MadManWithAnAxe: or me?

MadManWithAnAxe: Explain things better

r carter: quit asking stupid questions and get the heck away from em

r carter: me

MadManWithAnAxe: ME? or YOU?

MadManWithAnAxe: back away from myself?

MadManWithAnAxe: you’re not making any sense

r carter: YES I AM

MadManWithAnAxe: I as in YOU?

MadManWithAnAxe: I am ME

MadManWithAnAxe: YOU are YOU

MadManWithAnAxe: get it?

 

#8581: partlycloudy -> MadManWithAnAxe

partlycloudy: asl?

MadManWithAnAxe: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

partlycloudy: i asked ur age sex and location?!?!?!?

partlycloudy: lol

MadManWithAnAxe: don’t lie

MadManWithAnAxe: i know your “type”

partlycloudy: my type huh

partlycloudy: ?

partlycloudy: and what is my “type?

MadManWithAnAxe: don’t tell me what to do, davey

partlycloudy: davey?

partlycloudy: dude im a chick

MadManWithAnAxe: you heard me

partlycloudy: ever met a chick named davey?

MadManWithAnAxe: well….once…but that…that was a long time ago…..

partlycloudy: o really?

MadManWithAnAxe: i really don’t want to talk about it now

MadManWithAnAxe: she was the only one i truly loved

partlycloudy: was it bad?

partlycloudy: really?

partlycloudy: r u bein serious?

MadManWithAnAxe: no….i was just lying to impress you

partlycloudy: really?

MadManWithAnAxe: no….that was also a lie

partlycloudy: well………………..

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m not wearing any pants

partlycloudy: thanks for sharing what about boxers or breifs?

partlycloudy: lol

MadManWithAnAxe: nope…they’re against my religion

partlycloudy: and what realigion what that be i need to convert

MadManWithAnAxe: It’s called ARRRRGGGHHH!!!

partlycloudy: i guess i should look in to that

MadManWithAnAxe: no, it’s a secret

MadManWithAnAxe: you can’t join

MadManWithAnAxe: unless……………..

partlycloudy: unless???????????????

partlycloudy: ……………….

MadManWithAnAxe: UNLESS YOU CAN ANSWER ME THESE QUESTIONS THREE!

partlycloudy: ok lets see what u got

partlycloudy: well……………question #1

MadManWithAnAxe: A TRAIN LEAVES FROM DALLAS AT APPROX. 2:30 IN THE A.M. AT 20 MPH, AT THE SAME TIME ANOTHER TRAIN LEAVES FROM PORTLAND TRAVELING TOWARDS DALLAS AT 30 MPH….WHAT TIME DO THEY MEET?

MadManWithAnAxe: TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

partlycloudy: ??????????

MadManWithAnAxe: GUESS!

partlycloudy: tick

MadManWithAnAxe: correct…..

MadManWithAnAxe: QUESTION THE SECOND!

partlycloudy: k

MadManWithAnAxe: WHO IS THE LEAD SINGER OF THE GROUP DEADSY?

MadManWithAnAxe: TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

MadManWithAnAxe: WELL?

partlycloudy: hang on my sis is talking to me bout somethin

partlycloudy: ! sec

partlycloudy: 1

MadManWithAnAxe: close enough

MadManWithAnAxe: QUESTION THE THIRD!

partlycloudy: lol

MadManWithAnAxe: WHAT is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

partlycloudy: WHAT THE HELL

partlycloudy: ?

MadManWithAnAxe: tick tock

partlycloudy: WHAT THE HELL???????

MadManWithAnAxe: sorry….i’m afraid that is incorrect, my dear

MadManWithAnAxe: you can’t be a part of my cult

partlycloudy: o really?

MadManWithAnAxe: and you don’t get to come to my birthday party!

partlycloudy: and the right answer would be???????????

partlycloudy: well…….

partlycloudy: darn lol

partlycloudy: and the right answer would be???????????

MadManWithAnAxe: i think we BOTH know the answer to that one

partlycloudy: well just pretend i dont know and share it with me

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m sorry dave, i’m afraid i cant do that

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m afraid

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m afraid

partlycloudy: well thats cool if u will quit calling me dave

MadManWithAnAxe: i’m sorry dave, i’m afraid i cant do that

MadManWithAnAxe: now, we dance

MadManWithAnAxe: VROOOOOOOOOOOOM!

MadManWithAnAxe: WILL YOU MARRY ME?

MadManWithAnAxe: i once knew a man from NANTUCKET!

MadManWithAnAxe: she called me a toaster oven!