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Dream #23034: The Moon Blew Up

May 18th, 2013 Posted in Dreams, Screwed Up Chronicles | No Comments »

I wrote this in 2002.

I had a dream that I was out in the desert or something. The sand was red and there weren’t any trees, but big rocks every so often. There were a lot of people there, and there were a lot of houses. I wasn’t too far from my house. I looked up at the moon (which was very close). It was really hot, and the moon turned around pretty fast, and it looked the same except it had its own “red eye storm” like Jupiter. It’s kind of hard to describe. Anyway I pointed it out to my mom, and she said “that’s normal, they throw all our trash up there, you know?”

I thought “hmm, all that plastic up there is burning making it hot down here…” It seemed like it was raining fire from the moon. All of a sudden, it blew up. Everyone started screaming and went back inside their homes. After the moon rocks fell, I went over to my friends house, and there was my Grandma. She said his family wasn’t there because my friend was at the hospital. She pointed out the window shutters on the window, and said something about how cheap they were because a rock fell through. Then she disappeared.

Then it rained rocks again.  Afterwards, I was crying and I turned on the TV. To get my mind off everything, I turned on the TV and watched cartoons, while there was another TV with the news on. It had a bunch of people talking about the moon blowing up, and how it was more horrible than September 11. The rocks fell again all of a sudden for the last time. I went outside to see what happened, and there were a lot of people on hospital beds, screaming because trash and rock shot into their body.

I woke up then. What a weird dream. I could barely describe it all. You should’ve dreamed it yourself…to truly understand.

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3 Pennies

May 18th, 2013 Posted in People, Screwed Up Chronicles | 1 Comment »

stimpyismyname had 3 pennies.

He told me that if I guessed which they’d all land on, I could keep the pennies.

If it didn’t land on what I guessed, I had to give him 3 pennies.

I guessed that they would all be tails, and when he tossed them on the ground, they were all tails, but he said I said all heads.

The bastard ended up taking the pennies.

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Edgar Allen Poe SUCKS

May 18th, 2013 Posted in People, Screwed Up Chronicles | 1 Comment »

I think I wrote this in 10th grade.

Edgar Allen Poe SUCKS.

Very much so.

When I was writing this, I was sitting through my English class listening to a guy on a tape reading the story “The House of Usher” …which is complete and total crap! I hate how he writes his stories and poems.

The stories have too much description or something. There seems to be sentences within sentences within sentences, and it seems like they’re all fancy words put together to they make each other more fancy, and then there is no real story it seems.

Ooooh. The end of all his stories are so scary…you’re expected to get scared with “-she was dead,” like at the end of “The Oval Portrait”

Ooh. Scary. Dumb. “Never more?” Oooh. Scary.

Die.

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CrazE-mail #23031

May 18th, 2013 Posted in Chat Logs, CrazE-mails | No Comments »

Back in the year 2000, I was hosting Squackle at Angelfire, which was/is a free web host.  I got this e-mail and decided to have fun with them.

>>>From: “Angelfire Staff” <staff@angelfire.com>
>>>Subject: Password check
>>>Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 20:21:08 -0700

To ensure that your site, http://www.angelfire.com/ca4/squackle , is maintained properly, we periodically request that the webmaster of each site verify his or her password with Angelfire.  Please send your username, along with your password, to zoopx9@hotmail.com, my personal address, so that I can make sure everything is in order.  We hope you continue to use Angelfire to host your webpages in the future.

Sincerely,

Karl
Angelfire staff

>>>To: zoopx9@hotmail.com
>>>Subject: Re: Password check
>>>Date: Sat, 20 May 2000 08:13:59 PDT

hi!  how are you!  my password is:  jungjung  and my directory is biz/poopers

thank for making me safer on angelfire!

>>>From: “Tim Groves” <zoopx9@hotmail.com>
>>>Subject: Re: Password check
>>>Date: Sat, 20 May 2000 12:04:02 PDT

Hello again.  I received your e-mail containing the directory and password for your site at Angelfire.  However, the information was inaccurate.  Please verify that what you sent was correct and resend it.  We appreciate your cooperation, and thank you for using Angelfire.
Sincerely,

Karl
Angelfire Staff

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Going Blind

May 18th, 2013 Posted in Dave's Kingdom, Screwed Up Chronicles | No Comments »

I wrote this in 7th grade.

If I had only three days of sight left on the first I would want to start learning Braille (Braille would be in place of school), at least I would be 3 days closer to learning how to read Braille. After that I would play video games and computer games for an hour. Then I will look at my family and try to remember what their faces look like then I would go to bed.

On the second day I would get up at 5:00 AM and play video games and computer games until it was time for me to learn Braille for six hours then I would go outside and look at the trees, the sky, the cloud, the little dog running up to me like it was attacking me then I would go inside and play video games and computer games for two hours then I would look at my family’s faces then I would stay up all night and watch TV.

On the third day I will watch TV, play video games, and computer games until it was time to learn Braille then after that I would look at my house from the outside, then I would look at my family’s faces then go to bed and hope sometime during my life we will have the technology to have eye transplants.

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Joy Luck Club (1989 Novel) Review

May 9th, 2013 Posted in Screwed Up Chronicles | No Comments »

Re-purposing a school assignment I had in high school as a “review.”  I had answered the question below and turned it in as it reads below.

Do you like this book?  Why or why not?  If you did not like it, you need to be specific and tell me a reason other than it’s “girly.” Show me that you actually read some of it and THEN you decided that you didn’t like it as much as other books that you have read.  This question also implies that you are going to tell me what aspects of other books you DO like.

No, I do not like this book.

This book does not have a rewarding ending, nor does 200 pages of the book between Chapter 1 and Chapter 16 have anything to do with the main conflict of this book.

There is no resolution to any of the stories, and you never find out anything about what happens to anyone.  We learn about stupid things that happen to stupid people we don’t care about.  There are no crossovers in the story or much interaction between any of the different families, that would make us appreciate we know anything at all about these other characters.

When they do actually crossover in the story (I can only remember two times for actual interaction, and only a few times for naming) with anyone outside of their families, it isn’t worthwhile.  If they’re such good friends, shouldn’t they have made more of an impact on them?  I did not see that in this book, and I fail to believe that they really even are anything but flat, stereotypical women who have weird pasts, weird childhoods, and weird ways for coming to America.  All the mothers ever do is criticize Americans.

After I read the last chapter, it made me feel like I wasted many of my weekend hours I could have spent doing other things.

0/10

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Quote #23026

May 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“The moving ocean of people and lights gave the affect of a rustling army of darkness combating the unforeseen holy forces of light, because they’re in the light and this is a bad sentence.87”

– davepoobond

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Quote #23025

May 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“The last time I was incognito was when I had played Heads Up Seven Up in 4th grade.  I said I didn’t chose someone that guessed me when I actually did.”

– davepoobond

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Quote #23024

May 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“An example of irony was the time when I was making a joke about the punctuational use of a period, but was taken as a joke about women.”

– davepoobond

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Quote #23023

May 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“My friends appeared gauche in my presence by talking in slang, and not keeping the right grammatical structures we learn so well in Miss Horny’s class.”

– davepoobond

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Quote #23022

May 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“The last epiphany I had was when I finally realized I had armpit hair in 8th grade.  I had not noticed it beforehand.”

– davepoobond

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Quote #23021

May 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“To have orthography, you have to build up an actual care for having all of your words spelled write, and use sensefully in a grammatical stand point.”

– davepoobond

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Quote #23020

May 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“I will not have a quotidian life because I will want to make myself have a different experience every day, as I do not wish to have a boring life.”

– davepoobond

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Quote #23019

May 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“Miss Horny is on a power trip, so she used Johnny as an example for her expression of power, by threatening to suspend him for three days in front of the class.”

– davepoobond

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Quote #23018

May 9th, 2013 Posted in Quotes | No Comments »

“I had insulted someone to the point they started crying, so I had to say I was sorry, and everything was ok.”

– davepoobond

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