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WoW Chat #22440 davepoobond -> Sandychris

June 4th, 2012 Posted in Prank IMs, Stupid IMs | Comments Off

In trade chat, Sandychris is selling expensive mounts and other stuff, so I say to her…

davepoobond: 20k each

Sandychris: sorry only real money.:P

davepoobond: gold is real money

Sandychris: lol i mean$

davepoobond: yeah, $20k

Sandychris: lol

davepoobond: thats what i wanna give you,,,,

Sandychris: sorry i dont wanna ur gold.:P

davepoobond: it is real gold

davepoobond: i just need a down payment to bring th gold into the country

Sandychris: i know, but we dont use it.:P

Sandychris: lol

Sandychris: how?

davepoobond: i need it to pay the customs fees

davepoobond: but i will pay you back with the gold, cause its actual bullion

Sandychris: lol thanks

davepoobond: but i need these mounts

davepoobond: i told you i would pay you real gold money

Sandychris: i told u i only need $.:P

davepoobond: are you a girl

Sandychris: Yeah why

davepoobond: what is your cup size

Sandychris: what?

davepoobond: how big are your breasts

Sandychris: oh god

Sandychris: why do u know?

Sandychris: big enough

davepoobond: i want to know because i like boobs

Sandychris: ewww

davepoobond: what is so ew about that?

davepoobond: do you not like boobs?

Sandychris: lol

Sandychris: are u married?

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: are you?

Sandychris: no

Sandychris: i am younger than u

davepoobond: how old are you?

Sandychris: why dont u get married?

Sandychris: i am younger 10 years old then u.:P

davepoobond: i am trying to find a good woman

Sandychris: Nice

davepoobond: when do you want to get married

Sandychris: maybe 25 or 26.:)

davepoobond: can i ask you a question

Sandychris: sure

davepoobond: do you like butt sex

Sandychris: sure why?

davepoobond: i was just wondering

davepoobond: can i ask you another question

Sandychris: okay

davepoobond: will you marry me

Sandychris: lol

Sandychris: i cant

davepoobond: why not?

davepoobond: you like everything i like

Sandychris: lol

Sandychris: but i am not live in USA

davepoobond: details, my love

Sandychris: i am living in China,lol

davepoobond: that is ok

Sandychris: lol

davepoobond: so, since we are getting married, you will be able to come to usa

Sandychris: lol never

davepoobond: do you like china?

Sandychris: sure

davepoobond: why

Sandychris: do u like USA?

davepoobond: yes

Sandychris: then my answer is same with u

davepoobond: but i am a citizen of the world, i can live anywhere i want to

davepoobond: if you will not come to me, i will go to you

Sandychris: lol

Sandychris: are u a rich person?

davepoobond: yes, i have gold in many countries

Sandychris: lol

davepoobond: how long is your tongue?

Sandychris: lol

davepoobond: hello?

Sandychris: hello

davepoobond: what kind of activities do you like to do in your free time

Sandychris: nothing

davepoobond: do you know nancy?

davepoobond: i havent heard from her for a long time

Sandychris: who is Nancy?

davepoobond: she works in china doing the same thing you do

Sandychris: i dont know here

davepoobond: she got married

Sandychris: her

Sandychris: Yeah

davepoobond: and then another person, named danny said she was dead

Sandychris: lol

Sandychris: which site does she from?

Sandychris: do u know ?

Sandychris: u can contact with her by livechat on her site

davepoobond: i think from susanexpress

Sandychris: lol

Sandychris: did u buy gold or mount before?

davepoobond: no

davepoobond: we were friends

Sandychris: i am not working for susanexpress.:P

davepoobond: i was so happy to hear she was getting married

Sandychris: lol nice

davepoobond: and then a week later someone said she was dead

Sandychris: lol so weird

davepoobond: i think it was because she was dealing drugs

Sandychris: ahh?

davepoobond: opium

Sandychris: horrible

davepoobond: but she was so nice.  she had to sit on a box and type on her computer

Sandychris: why sit on a box?

davepoobond: they did not allow them to have chairs

Sandychris: lol horrilbe

Sandychris: i cant believe

Sandychris: chinese boss is good and cent do like this

davepoobond: what is your favorite movie

Sandychris: why should i tell u?

Sandychris: Forest Gump

Sandychris: do u know?

davepoobond: yes, i know that movie

davepoobond: it is a good movie

davepoobond: what is your favorite part

Sandychris: do u love it ?

davepoobond: yes

Sandychris: every is good

davepoobond: why do you like it

Sandychris: not sure

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WoW Chat #22439: davepoobond -> Spoonpie

June 4th, 2012 Posted in Prank IMs, Stupid IMs | No Comments »

Spoonpie is trying to sell a Magic Rooster Egg in Trade Chat (a rare mount).

So I whisper him with my bid…

davepoobond: 20k

Spoonpie: what?

davepoobond: final offer

Spoonpie: ur an idiot

davepoobond: what

Spoonpie: i have n offer for 250k

Spoonpie: and ur offering me 20k?

davepoobond: yes

davepoobond: because you still havent taken the 250k and you’re calling me an idiot

davepoobond: so it must not exist since your’e still trying to sell it

Spoonpie: because clearly i can get more?

davepoobond: clearly

Spoonpie: how about u open trade with me

Spoonpie: then we sill see ho is the poor idiot

davepoobond: ok sure

Spoonpie: on ur wy to IF?

Spoonpie: SW*

davepoobond: no, you can come to me

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WoW Chat #22438: Sievany -> davepoobond

June 4th, 2012 Posted in Stupid IMs | No Comments »

Sievany has joined the guild.

Sievany: has come online.

Sievany: bleh

Sievany: <sera

davepoobond: who

Sievany: <sepahry

davepoobond: who

Sievany: err sephary

davepoobond: who

Sievany: shush you!

davepoobond: :)

Sievany: =(

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WoW Chat #22437: Kissandkillu -> davepoobond

June 4th, 2012 Posted in Stupid IMs | No Comments »

I was posting this in Trade Chat:

“Tired of spending like 3 minutes or more on a typical heroic dungeon boss? Sick of seeing baddie dps doing less damage than the healer? Queue with a 402 ilvl dps! 100g/each normal or heroic dungeon. PST for invite!”

Kissandkillu: is that a guild invigte?

davepoobond: a what now

Kissandkillu: what?

Kissandkillu: do you wish for a g iviite

davepoobond: i have a sick

Kissandkillu: ??

Kissandkillu: lol do I know you

davepoobond: yes

Kissandkillu: then I wish you love and tons of happniess

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WoW Chat #22436: Invisibad -> davepoobond

June 4th, 2012 Posted in Stupid IMs | No Comments »

In Trade:

davepoobond: WTS  [Knotted Handwraps] 125g

Invisibad: il lgive ya 50

Invisibad: il lgive ya 50

davepoobond: nah

Invisibad: 60?

davepoobond: 125

davepoobond: its 150 on the ah

Invisibad: now ur stretching it ill go 85

davepoobond: im not stretching it, that was the original price

Invisibad: check my lvl

Invisibad: ok?

I do a /who and sees that he is level 45…

Invisibad:  iaint rich homie

davepoobond: well, i am

davepoobond: and id rather keep it than sell at that price

Invisibad: lol hunter leather

davepoobond: yes, lol :P

davepoobond: cause i would never have an alt rogue

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WoW Chat #22435: Unholytank -> Zanbon

June 4th, 2012 Posted in Stupid IMs | No Comments »

Unholytank: my cat pastway last night :(

Zanbon: this is awkward

Zanbon: my cat died last night too

Zanbon: he was in the car whenmy mom’s car ran off the road and crashed into that tree

Zanbon: wow is all i have left

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WoW Chat #22434: Roxast -> davepoobond

June 4th, 2012 Posted in Stupid IMs | No Comments »

Roxast: you are the worst fuckin hunter i have ever seen lololol  nice 2kills in that bg llololol

davepoobond: you’re cool bro

Roxast: lololol

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Squacklecast Episode 8 – “Wait Till We Do a Number 9″

June 4th, 2012 Posted in The Squacklecast | No Comments »

We have a guest this week!  It’s Daniel, the guy that went to the strawberry festival last week.  We put him on the grill and insult his decision for going to the strawberry festival along with his weird two-headed friend, Lucy the Two-Headed Goosey.

Did you have a half naked wannabe Hulk running around during your visit to the theater during The Avengers?  Did he look as bad as this guy who used industrial paint and had to take 20 baths in two days to try to get it off?

Wannabehulk

http://www.strawberryfestival.org/

What have we become? A never ending http://www.strawberryfestival.org/ ad for the http://www.strawberryfestival.org/ Strawberry Festival? http://www.strawberryfestival.org/

In honor of the Zombie Apocalypse, AMC is starting a new show called…

AMC Bath Salts

Zombie Apocalypse 2012:

Guy eating someone’s face off in Florida.

Guy eating his roommates brain in Maryland.

Get off my computer, Jamie Oliver.  You’re not a chemist.  You’re just an asshole.

Silly Jaime Oliver, we shouldn’t be throwing away perfectly edible food.  We should at least ship it off to Africa!

McDonalds used to be a value.  Now they try to sell you everything in bulk so that there is the same perceived value as what was once known as the Dollar Menu.

100 McNuggets

Only 20 bucks!

That new Coldplay song is pretty bad.  It doesn’t even sound like a Coldplay song.

Rihanna looks dumb.  Please remove her from my music and movies.

Rihanna Looks Dumb

Carly Rae Jepsen?  Who stepped in what?  Yet another terrible song for your listening pleasure:

The Sky Is The Limit must be gay code for anal sex.  So is “funnel cake.”

#1 – Piss

#2 – Poo

#3 – Poop and Pee at the same time.

#4 – Poo, Pee, and a Yak (a barf).  Mostly done by bulimics and people who don’t feel very good.

#5 – Opening up your intestine and chopping up parts and throwing it at police (Zombies gotta poop somehow)

The newer Dawn of the Dead introduced running zombies.  Is it really that much weirder than the idea of zombies in the first place?

[Rec] was a “demonic infestation” sort of zombie thing rather than a virus or reanimated corpses due to magic/radiation.   By the way, that was a spoiler.

Want to hire screamers with 13 dB yells or higher to make movies seem more scary than they are.  Apply at the offices of William Castle.

Screamer

Facebook and Mark Zuckerburg jokes are so funny.

The real #5 – Peeing inside someone.  A whole #1, while penetrating them.

#6 – Same thing as #5 but taking a shit on them instead.

#7 – Forced ejaculation

#8 – Vegetables in orifices, coming out.

The #1 (pun intended) defense against Zombies is making a house out of sugary treats.

GingerBread House

#9 – You don’t even need a can opener.  You just peel it back and drop that shit in, then you turn it to medium heat and stir it.

#10 – Strawberry sauce/Period Juice on your Hot Dog.

#11 – “Painting the porta potty.”  The paintbrush is your dick and the porta potty is a person’s ass.

X Squared – all of the above

Boy that was a great one, huh, guys?  Who knows what’s going to happen next week!

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Joke #22433

June 3rd, 2012 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes | No Comments »

Q: What’s a fish without any eyes?

A: A fsh.

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Joke #22432

June 3rd, 2012 Posted in (F) Quicky Jokes, Jokes | No Comments »

Q: What’s blue and smells like red paint?

A: Blue paint.

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Squacklecast Episode 7 – “FUCK the Strawberry Festival!”

May 26th, 2012 Posted in The Squacklecast | No Comments »

This week we watched Chernobyl Diaries, a movie about a bunch of college kids going to Russia to dick around and take Instagrams of ruined buildings and put them in meaningless filters so that they can show off to their friends.  They also bring their crazy knife-wielding soccer coach along for the lulz.

Chernobyl Diaries has an old zombie lady masturbating in a closet in an attic of one of the buildings.  Gross!

Too much Carrie Underwood and Colbie Caillat in Chernobyl Diaries for my taste.  It’s almost like a boring wedding video.

This is the knife that the soccer coach had.

Cool Knife

Why does Will Smith like making sequels to movies 10 years after the fact?  It’s not like he was doing anything that important in the mean time between movies.  If he’s going to make a shitty movie, he might as well make it while it is still relevant.

Bad Boys (1995) -> Bad Boys II (2003) = 8 years

Men in Black II (2002) -> Men In Black III (2012) = 10 years

I, Robot (2004) -> I, Robot 2 (currently 2015) = ~11 years

Hologram Tupac takes the forefront in Men In Black III, don’t be fooled by the trailers.  They’re pulling a Metal Gear Solid 2 on us.

Ali 2 will be Will Smith walking around with Parkinson’s until he either cures it or dies from it, made in 2018.

Independence Day 2 or even 3?  Welcome to URF again in 10 years!

 

Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith shitting on their White House and blowing up alien landmarks.  How do you like that, mother fuckers!?  Aliens getting shit on all the time!

Kind of sounds like Avatar

Avatar 2 is gonna be at the bottom of the ocean.  Or something.  You heard it here first, Jeff Goldblum is in Avatar 2.

On the flip side of things, Prometheus looks like it’ll be a good movie.

AVP and AVP 2 are no bueno.

Mortal Kombat: Legacy was terrible.  You should watch it.  It was directed by that guy that did Fame.

Street Fighter and The Legend of Chun-Li had it right — only have a story about one character, not 35 million characters at the same time.  That’s about the only thing they did right, and the rest of it was so wrong it was right.

Paul W.S. Anderson is the poor man’s Michael Bay.  And obviously not as good looking.

Dead Or Alive is one of Paul W.S. Anderson’s travesties.  But at least that is better than any of Uwe Boll‘s movies.

The Island is a less classy version of Never Let Me Go.

George Lucas would probably go back into the Star Wars movies and remove Ewan MacGregor’s beauty marks just so that it is consistent through all of the movies.

Kind of something like this:

Ewan MacGregor After George Lucas Had His Way With Him

Ewan MacGregor After George Lucas Had His Way With Him

 

And most of all, FUCK THE STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL!

Did you hear they banned plastic bags in LA?  Fuck that shit!  How am I supposed to line my little trash cans?

Everything is going to be made from the blood of trees now.

The Middle East is just a big fucking desert, who cares what happens to the environment there.  No one freakin lives there anyway.  So let’s toss all of our unused plastic bags into it.

Gobi Plastic Desert

See you guys next week! :licky:

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This Man Normalizes His Data

May 25th, 2012 Posted in Pictures | No Comments »

This Man Normalizes His Data

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Where the Fuck Is Jeeves?

May 25th, 2012 Posted in Pictures | No Comments »

Where the Fuck is Jeeves?

Back when "Ask.com" used to be "AskJeeves.com" and then they changed to just "Ask.com."

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You Don’t Want to Win This Prize

May 25th, 2012 Posted in Pictures | No Comments »

You Don't Want to Win This Prize

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GeForce 256 GPU Box Art

May 25th, 2012 Posted in Pictures | No Comments »

GeForce 256 GPU Box Art

So powerful.

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