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ralb

July 17th, 2015 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

ralb – n. the situation in which oil prices go down, but gas prices go up

Ex. California is in a ralb right now.

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Hacknet (PC) Preview

July 17th, 2015 Posted in Games | No Comments »

Developer: Team Fractal Alligator | Publisher: Surprise Attack Games || Outlook: Good

Writing previews for games are a bit of a challenge.  Previews serve as a way to give the readers an introduction to a game they may anticipate, and hopeful readers look for positive impressions before they have access themselves.  I tend to typically give preview builds the benefit of the doubt and stay hopeful that the final product will potentially deliver.  In this case, Hacknet definitely holds an interesting and unique potential.

Hacknet simulates a hacking environment, not unlike something you may see in exaggerated form on a TV show.  Through a number of commands you’ll solve what is essentially multi-layered puzzles that will force you to master a routine while solving the unique mission at hand.  The preview build provided to me allowed for approximately 40 minutes of gameplay, which included a Tutorial, a “test mission,” and an actual mission.

The gameplay serves as a backdrop and a storytelling device to a mystery involving the death of a hacker named Bit.  The preview build didn’t delve too deeply into the actual meat of the story, but mostly just alludes to some of the characters you are potentially going to have more interaction with later.  The simulated hacking environment uses real UNIX commands, so if you have experience with command line actions you’ll be able to pick up on most of what is happening pretty quickly.  The forced memorization of commands has the potential to be daunting if you aren’t comfortable with that sort of interaction with a computer, however.  One of the highlights of the game is its lack of hand-holding, so it appears that you’ll need a notepad or a good memory to execute the time-based puzzles correctly.  Ideally, you’ll be learning most of the commands as you go along, so the puzzles will probably become more advanced and require greater care to execute perfectly.  Hacknet aligns itself with “Papers, Please,” challenging different parts of your brain than what you may normally be accustomed to for games.

What got me really digging the puzzles was the sleek/futuristic user interface coupled with the music.  The music was contextually designed and matched the mood of what was going on appropriately.  The music really played a key part in turning up the tension when the first hacking challenge took place.  They didn’t want to give too much away so the game abruptly turns off once you hit a certain point in the puzzle/mission.  As an aside, they included a functional clicker mini-game, which implies there are possibly other mini-games that might be added to create variety.

The preview build left me with a generally positive impression, and I’m looking forward to what the complete game will offer.  Hacknet will be $10 when it releases in August.

Information from the press release is as follows:

Hacknet is an immersive, terminal-based hacking simulator for PC. Dive down a rabbit hoIe as you follow the instructions of a recently deceased hacker, whose death may not have been the accident the media reports. Using old school command prompts and real hacking processes, you’ll solve the mystery with minimal hand-holding and a rich world full of secrets to explore.

Bit, a hacker responsible for creating the most invasive security system on the planet, is dead. When he fails to reconnect to his system for 14 days, his failsafe kicks in, sending instructions in automated emails to a lone user.  As that user, it’s up to you to unravel the mystery and ensure that Hacknet-OS doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.

Exploring the volatile nature of personal privacy, the prevalence of corporate greed, and the hidden powers of hackers on the internet, Hacknet delivers a true hacking simulation, while offering a support system that allows total beginners get a grasp of the real-world applications and commands found throughout the game.

Hacknet will launch on PC via Steam and the Humble Store on August 12, 2015.

 

Reveal Trailer:

 

A preview build of Hacknet was provided to Squackle.

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The Many Ways to Say Penis

July 16th, 2015 Posted in Language Fun, Lists | No Comments »

A – “the” Alpha

B – Burrito, Bulge, Beef, Baby-maker, Big one, Bat

C – Cock, Chub, Club

D – Dick, Dong, Donger, Dingaling, Dingdong, Drill

E – Ejaculater

F – Frank, Frankfurter, Faucet, Fuckstick, Flute, Fire-hose, Five-Dollar Footlong, “a” Floppy

G – Gavel, Groin

H – Head, Hot dog, Hammer, Hose

I

J – Johnson, Joystick, Junior

K

L – Leaker

M – Manhood, Meat, Member, Magnum

N – Noodle, Needle, Navy Ship (lots of sea-men)

O – One-eyed Snake

P – Penis, Phallus, Pecker, Peter, Prick, Pickle, Package, Pole, Peepee, Pisser, Pounder, Poker, Pricker, Pen15, Pistol, Pogo stick, Pene (Spanish/Italian)

Q

R – Rocket, Rod, Richard

S – Sausage, Shaft, Scepter, Schlong, Stick, Snake, Sword, Shooter, Squirter, Stamp, Submarine

T – Thing, Tool, Tower, Tripod, Third Leg, Ten-incher

U

V

W – Weewee, Weiner, Wang, Willy, Wood, Wii, Wee, Whistle, Womb raider, Weapon

X

Y

Z

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The Many Ways to Say Vagina

July 16th, 2015 Posted in Language Fun, Lists | No Comments »

A

B

C – Clit, Clitoris, Cunt, Cake, Cheese sandwich, Coin slot, Cooch

D – Ditch

E

F

G

H – Hymen, Ham sandwich, Hole

I

J

K – Kitty

L – Labia

M

N

O – Ovary Factory

P – Pussy, Pink taco, The Pink, Pie, Poontang, Poon, Privates, Private part, Pita sandwich, Port

Q – Quesadilla

R

S – Sandwich, Slot, Spaceport

T – Taco, Tunnel

U

V – Vagina, Vadge/Vag

W

X

Y

Z

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The Many Ways to Say Boobs

July 16th, 2015 Posted in Language Fun, Lists | Comments Off on The Many Ways to Say Boobs

# – 5318008, 58008

A – Areolas, (anything that is round)

B – Boobs, Boobies, Breasts, Bosom, Bust, Balloons, Bags

C – Chesticles, Chest, Cleavage

D – Double D’s

E

F – Funbags

G – Globes

H – Hooters, Honkers, Headlights

I

J – Jugs, Jubblies

K – Knockers

L

M – Mammary glands, Melons, Milkbags, Milk Factories

N – Nips, Nipples

O

P – Puppies

Q

R

S – Spheres, Squirters

T – Tits, Titties, Teat, Ta-tas, Twins

U – Udder

V

W

X

Y

Z

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The Many Ways to Say Testicles

July 16th, 2015 Posted in Language Fun, Lists | No Comments »

A

B – Balls, Berries, Bulge, Ballsack

C

D

E

F – Family jewels, Fuzzy peaches

G – Gonads, Groin

H

I

J – Jewels, Junk

K

L

M

N – Nads, Nuts

O

P – Privates

Q

R – Rocks

S – Stones, Sack, Scrotum

T – Testicles, Testes

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

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torcesel

July 16th, 2015 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

torcesel – v. to spend 30 minutes looking around a convenience store and finally decide on buying a small bag of chips

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geradu

July 15th, 2015 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

geradu – v. to try to sell a bag of chips (that you got elsewhere) to the cashier at a convenience store that you just bought other bags of chips from

Ex. This weird fucking guy tried to geradu me today at work.

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suha

July 15th, 2015 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

suha – n. an empty bottle of hand sanitizer.  So sad.

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aabbbbabaa

July 15th, 2015 Posted in Dictionary | No Comments »

aabbbbabaa – n. a USB port on a slushy machine

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Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Song #23923

July 15th, 2015 Posted in (F) Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Songs, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

I hate you

You hate me

Let’s all get a girder and whack Barney

With a whack whack here

And a whack whack there

Whacking whacking everywhere

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Bad Submission #23922

July 15th, 2015 Posted in Bad Submissions | No Comments »

Submitted as an Anti-Barney the Dinosaur song.

This form was submitted: Jun 05 2004 / 17:46:18

name = dead barney
email = Jack@ass.com
use_email = no
song = you fucked me

You fucked me I Fuck your wife
Lets forgert this and killlllllll barneyyyyyyyyy
With 1000000000000000000 knifes up his A#@ The dick got cut off

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Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Song #23921

July 15th, 2015 Posted in (F) Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Songs, Poetry and Songs | No Comments »

Why does barney think he’s the king?

Let’s all poke him with long, sharp pins

We all hate the sad song he sings

Fry him in the microwave at 100 degrees

And wait until we hear the ‘ping’

ok as u can probaly tell im running out of things that ryhme…

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Bad Submission #23920

July 15th, 2015 Posted in Bad Submissions | No Comments »

Submitted through the Anti-Barney Song submission form.

This form was submitted:  Feb 11 2005 / 13:48:48

name =
email =
use_email = yes
song = I hate barnie he had amonster poop and it stunk

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Bad Submission #23919

July 15th, 2015 Posted in Bad Submissions | No Comments »

Submitted through the Anti-Barney Song submission form.

This form was submitted: Feb 03 2004 / 17:14:51

name = Alex
song = Suicide! Suiside! Everybody kill yourself! (Sound effect of kids shooting)Everybody do your share.Suicide! Suicite Everybody kill yourself! (Barney shoots himself)

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