Category Archives: People

People that are screwed up.

Screwed Up Chronicles, People

The Reasons Why sisterpoobond Wants Her Hair Braided

September 25, 2007 sisterpoobond Leave a comment

davepoobond: this is word for word on a piece of paper my sister left for my mom…its pretty stupid…

——————————–

Please!!??!!??!!

These are a list why I would like to get my hair braided, (not like Sami’s):

The only thing I can do with my hair is, pony-tail, bun, or clip
I’ve never had my hair braided, and would like to try it
It would be easier for me on our trip
Me and Sami were going to pertend that we were sisters and if we looked the same it would be really cool
I’ll pay for it
Also for the first day of school
When I take my hair out it’ll look like all fuzzy

Please Mom!

PLEASE

+So as you can see I really want my hair to be braided………….

………….what do you say??

Screwed Up Chronicles, People

Stuff Emily Dickinson Would Personify

September 25, 2007 davepoobond (DPB) Leave a comment

-candy

-a jar

-plums

-a tree

-leaves

-sand

-dirt

-compost pile

-trash can

-trash

-wind

-the man next door she doesn’t talk to

-a bird flying overhead

-a bundle of sticks

-sky

-thunderstorm

-vases

-flowers

-fire

-clouds

-paper bag

-fruit basket

-her bed

-grass

-time

-emotions

-traits

-doors, entrances and exits

Screwed Up Chronicles, People

Who Emily Dickinson Is

September 25, 2007 davepoobond (DPB) Leave a comment

Basically, Emily Dickinson was a loner that almost never left her house and communicated with people by letters and her loser sister that did her grocery shopping for her and such. She never was seen out of her house and was there for like 50 years without going outside or something…she wrote about a thousand STUPID poems, too

Screwed Up Chronicles, People

jkjkjkjkdsbnA DS DGFV NNNNNNVBBNVNN

September 25, 2007 Nose Leave a comment

jkjkjkjkdsbnA DS DGFV NNNNNNVBBNVNN

LLLLLLLLLLLL

LLLLLL

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Screwed Up Chronicles, People

Nose: A Letter Home

September 25, 2007 Nose Leave a comment

DEAR MOMANDDAD,

I regret to inform you that i was abducted by aliendss on October the 29, 1988,

the person YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING WITH FOR THE LAST !# YEARS

IS NOTHING BUT A LIE.

All i habe tosay is that you may lwavve everything i own on thw kittxheb tanblekjsa af ams adfas ,sdfjas adsfjabviune49a

asfa fafadsfsahfjkn 4jb, afnmsoarlwcnjn4 nknlfjr je anfa

akhfkjhfjk fdmsf nkj hzknjabk;sasnmasnmgfsfkbfi ,sviunrahf as

kkkkkklklllkinuhutrseawaegfvhgytcresg cjhgyt ytfyt

dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

ddddddddddddd jhN DJKNVJKSDFG KNK KGSNFE,ADNF JFLRMA FDM A,D OJBNLEJ*ANFL

ABFKJNFJKNFKHFHFKHKBKJHSV KHBSASDFASF BASF.

ASFSFFSFDFF.

ASF.

ASD

ASFFSFFFFFFFFFF

Screwed Up Chronicles, People

A Letter Home

September 25, 2007 davepoobond (DPB) Leave a comment

May 14, 1545

I am tired of knights bossing me around. Especially El Jousto. He is such a beef-witted person he makes me fighteth for him and he gets all thy credit. All thy other knights that bosseth me around are making me do more and more. Pretty soon they might endeth up liketh El Jousto…I must go now, El Jousto wants me to feedeth thee, for now I will poison thee so I may become the next El Jousto!

People, Screwed Up Chronicles

What a Life!

September 25, 2007 davepoobond (DPB) Leave a comment

Assignment: As a peasant farmer, write an entry in your diary describing how you feel about your lot in life

———————————-

Apulis (April) 14,

It is very boring. We have not had any wars for some time now. I am beginning to think that we don’t need anymore knights. We have been at the training center for months doing the same thing. We are getting bored. maybe we should start a war with Spain

Screwed Up Chronicles, People

The Failures of davepoobond

September 25, 2007 Nose 1 Comment

1. davepoobond cannot poop in a circle

2. davepoobond smells like teen spirit

3. davepoobond’s penis is the same size as a muskrat’s.

4. davepoobond has sex with zebras

Screwed Up Chronicles, People

Adman’s Endless Babble

September 25, 2007 Adman Leave a comment

i really like those catch phrases that are not real words, or just happen to be dumb like:

waka waka waka – someone from the muppets

wa wa wa – chachi on happy days

whutyoutalkinboutwillis – arnold from different strokes

lucy, youb goss som splainin to doooo – ricky from I love lucy

waaaaaaaaa – lucy from i love lucy

wEll – sammantha (sam) from Bewitched

I smell trouble! – dog, from cat dog

I’M READY – sponge bob square pants, from eh, himself

super doppler 7 – some chick from abc 7

beltway – some chick from abc 7

mumblemumblemumble adam – my mom

i also really like breaking old computers, like a tandy 2000 i came across, the piece of scheiss didnt even tell the time correctly, so i stripped the boards for components and crushed it into powered silicon, and shot the dust, and pissed on it (my cat too, i mean, he pissed on it too, i didnt piss on her…), and then i buirried some of my dead birds with it, and… ummmm, put dirt on it….

People, Screwed Up Chronicles

Adman’s Killer Instinct

September 25, 2007 Adman Leave a comment

as I lay prone, still, almost lifeless in appearance, holding my dasiy and sighting in on the unlucky pest, I watched carefully in apprehension of being spotted, I could only take one shot, they would pinpoint me with two, trying hard to remain part of the woods, adjusting my ghillie, repositioning my grip, I took a deap breath and exhaled it slowly, an icy chill came about my whole body as if foreshadowing my fate, I took careful aim, only to stop to doulbe check my action, “a bit of dirt couldent hurt it more than to dull its luster” I told myself, another breath I took, only to exhale and hold at that point, aiming carefully I slowly pulled the trigger back, feeling the last of the slack, I let my finger tighten, hold and rechecking my aim, I finished the pull with a slight jerk, holding my aim as to make sure the shot had cleared the barell, the black mass of feathers landed with a dull thud and an explosion of others, I knew that one was all I could take today, holding my aim as I stood, slowly I drew a Beretta from my side, creeping up on the downed animial I worried much of the condition of my pistol, if it were indeed loaded, the action may be flushed with mud, a misfire could mean death, but I kept on, almost 10 yards from the beast, I slowed my pace, almost to a halt, when examining the lifeless mass more closely, it seemed most reasuring to me that this animal was totally still, foolishly I holstered my weapon and drew closer, knealing at the kill, I started at it, he lay there dead, I redrew my weapon and placed 15 rounds into the body of the bird, stuck a stick through him, and hurled his ass into my neighbors yard, hehehe

Screwed Up Chronicles, People

Adman: How I Feel

September 25, 2007 Adman Leave a comment

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

and that is how i really feel.

Screwed Up Chronicles, People

Adman’s Hangover

September 25, 2007 Adman Leave a comment

woow, I am hung over because i drank a bottle of wine last night

fub fub fub fub

wubwubwubwubwub

hehehe

I sound like that crab from that show, Futurama

I’m not having fun being hung over. nooo

I have a headache

and another

and heres one i just found

My mouth is dry, my pee is green, my eyes are soar, my peener is hardly funcioning, I woke up before I knew something about a railroad, and I’m ummmmm, unhappy

That dream was coool

I was some little boy, and my father was sending me away on a kayak

Well

After the shooting, or it was at a school or somthing and i got a few meters off the shore and soemthing happened and i got upgraded to some really nice train but i pushed it, and it was horse driven and the track split up ahead. I hit my cat, but she was ok, but it wasnt my cat. It was something else. I dont know what cuz i woke up damn phone. Dreams are soo cool, I wish I could finish a dream once in a while I wonder what it would look like.

Would there be credits??

People, Screwed Up Chronicles

Go Smoke a Toilet: Things I Hate

September 21, 2007 Go Smoke A Toilet Leave a comment

Things I hate:

1. Barney (most of all)

2. Chemistry

3. Writing Chemistry labs

4. Having to write Chemistry labs

5. Nights when I don’t finish Chemistry labs

6. Nights when I do finish Chemistry labs

Squackle.com! The Funniest Site on the Net!

Category Archives: People

The Reasons Why sisterpoobond Wants Her Hair Braided

Stuff Emily Dickinson Would Personify

Who Emily Dickinson Is

jkjkjkjkdsbnA DS DGFV NNNNNNVBBNVNN

Nose: A Letter Home

A Letter Home

What a Life!

The Failures of davepoobond

Adman’s Endless Babble

Adman’s Killer Instinct

Adman: How I Feel

Adman’s Hangover

Go Smoke a Toilet: Things I Hate

Unexpect the expected.

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Unexpect the expected.