Fun Tournament (PC) Review

Developer: CAGames

  Fun Tournament (PC) (773.6 KiB, 387 hits)

Game by CAGames, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

A platform shooter…that is pretty bad…

Graphics:

The graphics are actually the strong point, and only I might add, about this game. I actually like how the “level” things appeared out of blocks flying out of nowhere. But the sprites were all ripped from another game, the blocks are nothing more than blocks, and the gnarly background makes you want to have a seizure, though you really can’t…so it’s pretty bad.

Sound:

The shotgun noise is annoying, the music is from Mario Kart, which is even more annoying, because if I wanted to hear this song I’d play Mario Kart instead of this, and I don’t like Mario Kart or that song, so….its all bad. bad bad bad bad!

Gameplay:

The gameplay is simple enough, but is equally stupid as this game. What do I care about blowing the shit out of some stupid puff things? I couldn’t get the “multiplayer” mode to work at all.

Crappiest Part:

Umm….there’s so many crappy parts…probably the reason why you’re shooting puff things that go back and forth along the same path for no reason except to be shot full of lead. You never die. There’s no game over screen, there’s no point to having points either, because you just keep losing 20 points when you die, and when you have no points, you’d think you’re screwed then, but no you go into NEGATIVE points. How is it possible to have negative points? Its beyond me…

Overall Score:

The title of this game is deceiving. It says its “Fun Tournemnt” but there IS no fun, and there is no REAL tournament about it. I give it a:

2/10

  Fun Tournament (PC) (773.6 KiB, 387 hits)

Game by CAGames, made with Game Maker.

 

Fort Defender (PC) Review

Developer: Flammable Werks

  Fort Defender (PC) (820.9 KiB, 436 hits)

Game by Flammable Werks, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

This is like a 4 way pong, with multiple balls.

Graphics:

You can tell the graphics are original (i think). The floor is pretty good looking though, and the title. Boy gotta love that title…and the loading screen…yaaa…

Sound:

The music is pretty darn good, but gets kind of annoying when you keep losing, and there’s a happy tune….i can’t win this game arghh…!

Gameplay:

The gameplay is simple, but can get kind of hard to control, even though there are only 2 controls…left and down. I can’t really describe what the problem is….if you play it you’ll see.

Crappiest Part:

Probably how i lose a lot. This game is kind of boring, there’s not much to it.

Overall Score:

bleh. I give it a:

7/10

  Fort Defender (PC) (820.9 KiB, 436 hits)

Game by Flammable Werks, made with Game Maker.

 

Firewerks Maker (PC) Review

Developer: Shawn64’s Creations

  Firewerks Maker (PC) (672.8 KiB, 418 hits)

Game by Shawn64's Creations, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

In Firewerks Maker, you can customize your own spectacular fireworks show, customizing what you want to see in a firework.

Graphics:

The fireworks look good, but there isn’t much else to add to it. The good thing is that you can change the colors of the fireworks.

Sound:

Well the fireworks sounds aren’t really that great, and there’s no music. You can load your own sounds for the fireworks and launching though.

Gameplay:

Its simple to understand how to adjust things, but not exactly what each option really DOES. You notice some change, but you don’t really know how to explain it or whether it makes it better or worse or something.

Crappiest Part:

Nothing else to do except blast off fireworks.

Overall Score:

Though the physics and the abilities of this game is very good, it lacks really any replay value. I give it a:

8/10

  Firewerks Maker (PC) (672.8 KiB, 418 hits)

Game by Shawn64's Creations, made with Game Maker.

 

Elfish Wars (PC) Review

Developer: Game Maker Central

  Elfish Wars (PC) (799.2 KiB, 424 hits)

Game by Game Maker Central, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

You’re an Elf with a billion mines and 25 lives…

ok, i’m not gonna review this, it sucks.

0/10

  Elfish Wars (PC) (799.2 KiB, 424 hits)

Game by Game Maker Central, made with Game Maker.

 

Duck Hunter, The (PC) Review

Developer: The GM Place

  The Duck Hunter (PC) (1,002.1 KiB, 410 hits)

Game by The GM Place, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

Welcome to Adventurous Dave’s Duck Shooting Show. In this show, you will see things that you should not see, like birds that aren’t even ducks getting shot. Ok forget the show idea. There really isn’t one duck in this game. What kind of a game called Duck Hunter doesn’t have a duck in it?

Graphics:

They were all ripped from somewhere. Was that Tweety I just saw there?

Sound:

Uhh this game is stupid, the sound doesn’t help it at all.

Gameplay:

Really bad. When you click one of the goddam birds it doesn’t die most of the time.

Crappiest Part:

The crappiest part is the name. It disgraced the name Duck Hunt, by putting an “er” on the end and put all these birds that aren’t ducks in it. And there’s even clocks flying through the air. What genius thought that shit up? “Hey, let’s have a game, where a bunch of different birds, no ducks though, and clocks are flying through the air, and you have to point and click to shoot them, but half the time, you don’t kill them when you should have. Let’s name it Duck Hunter.” Yeah, great idea.

Overall Score:

This is a horrible game. Not much else to say about it. 1/10.

  The Duck Hunter (PC) (1,002.1 KiB, 410 hits)

Game by The GM Place, made with Game Maker.

 

Downtown in Crazy Town (PC) Review

Developer: GZ Soft

  Downtown in Crazy Town (PC) (4.1 MiB, 459 hits)

Game by GZ Soft, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

You drive a car around a small city running over various things but mostly smashing crates.

Graphics:

Pretty good. the wheels turn when you turn the car and the car shows damage. The area you drive around in isn’t huge, but it’s big enough.

Sound:

It’s bad. The car makes an annoying engine sound that loops forever.

Gameplay:

It’s fun to play, although the smashing crates thing is kinda stupid. Somebody lost their load so you have to drive a car through something like a hundred crates scattered all over the road… right. Then there’s these ogre things that push your car away if you hit them.

Crappiest Part:

How the car makes an annoying engine sound that loops forever.

Overall Score:

yeah… it’s a good game. I give it a

8/10

  Downtown in Crazy Town (PC) (4.1 MiB, 459 hits)

Game by GZ Soft, made with Game Maker.

 

Decay Haven (PC) Review

Developer: Pixelopolis

  Decay Haven (PC) (1.0 MiB, 903 hits)

Game by Pixelopolis, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

you’re a mouse….with an uzi….okayyyyyyy……

Graphics:

The graphics are actually pretty good. I like how the mice look, and how the pieces of the things you shoot fly toward the screen…which I don’t really see why it would actually happen..

Sound:

The music was pretty good, I liked it. The bullet firing sound is good…yeah..

Gameplay:

jump and shoot. prety simple huh? WRONG. Its hard to jump sometimes and you can only shoot to the left.

Crappiest Part:

WELL….the whole game, lets try?

Overall Score:

I understand this game has nothing to it yet, so i guess this is pretty much a preview, but since we just do reviews here, i’m grading it as a complete game. The game runs smoothly, I like the potential of it, and hope to play it when it is done, so i gave it a very generous:

5/10

  Decay Haven (PC) (1.0 MiB, 903 hits)

Game by Pixelopolis, made with Game Maker.

 

Dark Caves II: Lost in Egypt (PC) Review

Developer: Hellbound’s Games

  Dark Caves 2 (PC) (728.7 KiB, 820 hits)

Game by Hellbound's Games, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

Here we are again, in another Dark Caves game. But this time, we’re in Egypt! Hooray! This is the “sequel” to Hellbound’s Dark Caves, which was also originally a C64 game (2 different games)

Graphics:

Once again, there are very good graphics here, and a very nice job of making everything look like Egypt.

Sound:

The same sounds are used again from the last one. Nothing too annoying, nothing too good though.

Gameplay:

The gameplay is exactly the same as from the first one. And the goal is pretty much the same. This is pretty much the same game with different themed levels.

Crappiest Part:

There isn’t too much of anything crappy in this game. The game is kind of boring though, just like the last one, but with all the different spikes and enemies, which are obviously only in Egypt, it makes it less boring than the first one.

Overall Score:

This game is a bit easier in the starting out levels than the first few in the first one, but I know that it probably gets really hard. This is definitely for someone who wants to get frustrated, and will want to play a hard game. The game is very smooth running, which is a big plus, because so many games made with Game Maker aren’t. 8/10.

  Dark Caves 2 (PC) (728.7 KiB, 820 hits)

Game by Hellbound's Games, made with Game Maker.

 

Dark Caves (PC) Review

Developer: Hellbound’s Games

  Dark Caves (PC) (712.3 KiB, 805 hits)

Game by Hellbound's Games, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

This is a recreation of Dark Caves, which I assume was once on the Commodore 64, which I don’t even know what is, except that I guess it was a computer? Anyway, besides the point of me not knowing computer history that doesn’t matter in the long run, this is basically a side scrolling puzzle/adventure game kind of thing.

Graphics:

The graphics are moderate. They’re not bad, but they’re not exceedingly good either.

Sound:

There wasn’t any music, but the sound effects were ok.

Gameplay:

Its the basic set of commands, with the arrow keys. Up used your jetpack and down uses bombs. You can also shoot stupid lasers and kill yourself.

Crappiest Part:

The boring-ness of the game. This game is just kind of boring, and there’s nothing that will make you want to really play too much longer. And its really easy to die if you don’t watch yourself and know what you’re doing.

Overall Score:

This isn’t that great of a game, but its a smooth running game with no really annoying things in it except the difficulty. But because its boring and there’s not really much that makes you want to play it, it gets a

6/10

  Dark Caves (PC) (712.3 KiB, 805 hits)

Game by Hellbound's Games, made with Game Maker.

 

Cyclop Force (PC) Review

Developer: Urisoft

  Cyclop Force (PC) (1.5 MiB, 932 hits)

Game by Urisoft, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

wow…where to start? i dont know what to say. In this game, you’re a cyclops….and….you shoot…..a gun….that’s about it. There’s only 2 modes, a Vs. mode (against someone on the same computer, using the same keyboard) and “training” in which you shoot a target, that half the time is hard to get to in the time allowed or is somewhere you cant get to.

Graphics:

The graphics are not that great at all. I liked the idea about all the different types of characters and maps. Though, you can’t really even tell that the characters ARE cyclopses, because you only see them from a side view. They just look like eggs…

Sound:

The music is the best thing about this game. This game actually has the best music in a Game Maker game i have ever played.

Gameplay:

Ok, the gameplay sucks so much. The controls are HORRIBLE and it took me at least 10 or 15 minutes just to get the hang of it. It could’ve been done a lot better. The aiming system is also really bad, because its hard to control your aiming WHILE you are trying to move and jump around. The training mode is bad, too. The actual good things about this game, is that it has a nice split screen for the Vs. Mode, a lot of different characters to choose from (with different “special” abilities each), and again, the music. Jumping is very hard to do in this game, because you cant land on the place that you’re supposed to jump onto, but have to kind of get onto the side and then jump again to get on the ledge.

Crappiest Part:

How there’s no musical jukebox thing that you can just listen to the music. But, the real crappiest part is the whole game.

Overall Score:

This is really one of the worst games i’ve ever had the nightmare of playing, with only the music to really say “hey that was good” about, I give it a:

3/10

  Cyclop Force (PC) (1.5 MiB, 932 hits)

Game by Urisoft, made with Game Maker.

 

Contra: Legacy of War (PS) Review

Developer: Konami | Overall: 1/10

You may like Contra, but this is one Contra you have to hate. This is an impossible game to beat without cheats. There are 2 CG movies that have nothing to do with the game, and it has the cheesiest graphics you’ve seen in a while. In Contra: Legacy of War, Frankenstein is the master of the universe, and he talks for at least 5 minutes, and you don’t even know what he says, cause he mumbles like a silly bitch. He also thinks your greatest nightmare is all the bosses you beat in the game. You get to beat all of them again in the same match, somewhere near the end. So that means, you get to beat each boss 3 times.

You can’t even fight Frankenstein! On the last boss, his face is waving around the screen, so you can barely see what’s happening. Did I mention there is an alien named Bubba in it that you can be? When you beat the last boss, which you already beat before, his face goes away and you beat the game.

There’s also one stage that is a planet, and you can walk around the whole planet in less than 10 seconds. When you beat the game, the planet blows up, and on one piece of the planet, there is a paper-cut-out of the guys you can pick on the players select screen.

There is also 2 mini-games that is the worst 2 “arcade” games ever. One of them got blown up by stimpyismyname, so I don’t know how crappy that one is. The other one, is the crappiest version of a mix of Space Invaders/Asteroids/Milipede/Centipede game you’ll ever find!

You go around in a circle on the edge of the screen, and if there is 2 players, you stop when you hit the other guy, going around in the circle. Then you have to go around in a circle with them. It was possibly their mode of space travel, but we doubt it.

In conclusion, this game sucks the dicks of everyone that made this game. And when we say everyone, it is actualy about 10 people. We counted them from the credits. They’re probably mostly women too. Which is why it came out so pussy. Good job, Konami, I salute you for a job well done on making one of the worst games ever and crushing the name “Contra” forever. I hope you’re happy, cause I’m not!

 


From a review of Contra: Legacy of War: “You also get some cheesy 3d glasses with the game. Turn on 3d mode in the game, but on the blue and red glasses, and get ready for a headache. There is some slight depth perception at the expense of all the color, and a flickering screen. Its just a worthless gimmick. There was no point in including it, except for fancy packaging… I mean, who couldn’t pass up 3d glasses!?”

cooooool… in contra legacy of war you get 3d glasses… that must have been why it wasn’t so good…

 

Collapse Deluxe (PC) Review

Developer: Microsoft

  Collapse Deluxe (PC) (1.3 MiB, 971 hits)

Game by Microsoft.

Overview:

Collapse Deluxe is the deluxe version of Collapse, and as you may or may not know, Collapse is a game that looks kind of like Tetris, but isn’t. In this game, you point and click, over and over and over. You have to click the different colored boxes if there is 3 or more connected. Not diagonally though, that would be too easy.

Graphics:

There are some purdy boxes there.

Sound:

They are good sounds for a game that you click boxes.

Gameplay:

Its easy gameplay, you point and click and hope you don’t get the boxes all the way up to the top without being able to click anything. The boxes appear out of the bottom, and as you go on through the levels it goes faster…so you have to go faster. Don’t be frightened about the bomb though, it won’t hurt you, it’ll actually help you, cause it blows the shit out of everything around it. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Crappiest Part:

The replay value. I don’t really like playing this game at all too much. All you do is click fucking boxes, and they disappear! What is fun about this? Oh wow they make a sparkle when they disappear or there’s a bomb that blows the shit boxes up. Big whoop. I saw Collapse Deluxe II when I was getting the download link for this game, so maybe there’s a little hope for a better game.

Overall Score:

Since this is a professional game, and not a game made by an amatuer, its on a different scale of what I would rate it. But the score is on the same scale. 2/10.

  Collapse Deluxe (PC) (1.3 MiB, 971 hits)

Game by Microsoft.

 

Clintario Part One: The Creations of Doctor Gobbo (PC) Review

Developer: Gizmo Games

  Clintario (PC) (2.1 MiB, 904 hits)

Game by Gizmo Games, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

This is a side scroller…like Mario…same sounds and everything…the annoying coin sound…the stupid enemies…the annoying coin sound…and even less of a story than Mario. There IS no story…well its about the same now that I think about it.

Graphics:

Average. The background was kind of interesting…and the enemies are really simple drawings.

Sound:

I like the music a lot actually…but the annoying coin sound balances the sound out to a 0, meaning its not good and its not bad.

Gameplay:

Simple enough. You’d think that the up arrow would be jump, but its actually the space bar. that’s the only annoying thing. Also the fact that you have to jump realllllllly long lenghts is kind of annoying, because if you’re way into the room, it starts you over.

Crappiest Part:

Umm…I don’t like this game too much…I have no idea why I’m playing it, because there’s no story.

Overall Score:

This isn’t a good game, if it were more complete I might give it a better score, but it really wouldn’t have gotten much more. The ANNOYING as hell coin sound is stupid as hell….GO TO HELL! I give it a:

6/10

  Clintario (PC) (2.1 MiB, 904 hits)

Game by Gizmo Games, made with Game Maker.

 

Cliff Gunner (PC) Review

Developer: Blackrat Studios

  Cliff Gunner (PC) (1.5 MiB, 871 hits)

Game by Blackrat Studios, made with Game Maker.

Overview:

Cliff Gunner is basically an updated version of Space Invaders, with better drawings, and not much anything more different.

Graphics:

The graphics are nice. I like the buildings. The ships and UFO things are kinda weird looking though. But hey, who am I to say that an alien ship looks weird? It may even be the gay ships that have come to attack Earth so they can rule it and suck off all the other alien cock they wanted without persecution.

Sound:

Its ok. The air siren is sort of annoying after the first 2 seconds.

Gameplay:

Simple enough. You point and click the ships and missiles that are coming down at the city, and try not to have anything blow up the city.

Crappiest Part:

Well, the crappiest part would be how its not really that exciting to just blow up missiles and stuff. Its more fun to blow up the city yourself. That’s what I thought I was supposed to do the first time around. Then it said I lost. Why can’t there be a game like that, that you go from city to city and blow all their shitty buildings up? WHY!??!

Overall Score:

This is a good game, but there’s not much that is different from Space Invaders. The scenery and all the sprites are easy on the eyes, but I have to give a 7/10, because there is nothing new in this, that I’ve seen.

  Cliff Gunner (PC) (1.5 MiB, 871 hits)

Game by Blackrat Studios, made with Game Maker.

 

Christmas Crunch (PC) Review

Developer: CapnChubby

  Christmas Crunch (PC) (664.5 KiB, 907 hits)

Game by capnchubby, made with GameMaker.

Overview:

I couldn’t really read the menus, but you control a bunch of icons like socks and santa heads. They all move when you go left, etc. The goal is to get them into thier individual goals without hitting any diamonds.

Graphics:

menus are kinda cool, though hard to read. I don’t like to take off points for that kinda thing, though. The other stuff is pretty boring.

Sound:

Really starts to piss you off, since it’s the same thing over and over. Well, actually more, but all Christmas songs sound the same.The scream when you die scares the crap outta you. who knew socks could scream so loud?

Gameplay:

Original. Not too fun to play, but it makes you think. Sometimes it screws up and the block off guys you control split up a little.

Crappiest Part:

How it’s GAY! GAY GAY GAY!! There, I said it…

Overall Score:

5/10

  Christmas Crunch (PC) (664.5 KiB, 907 hits)

Game by capnchubby, made with GameMaker.