#5874: davepoobond -> Para

What Para doesn’t know is that davepoobond is actually IMing her with a different screen name…teehee!

davepoobond: hidaho

Para: ?

davepoobond: hallo

Para: You are?

davepoobond: me

Para: More specific?

davepoobond: umm

davepoobond: spe…cific?

Para: OoOoO, I have a new person to put on AOL ignore, I love that.

davepoobond: no!

davepoobond: i’ll tell you who told me your sn

Para: That is?

davepoobond: briboy

Para: I don’t know them..

davepoobond: he said you were a real BITCH

davepoobond: and you get a boner when you see a naked lizard

davepoobond: and you like conversations about cinnamon and gay sex

davepoobond: he’s not on now though

davepoobond: so, dont try to IM him

davepoobond: …hello?

Para: You need to take an anatomy lesson…

davepoobond: …i do?

davepoobond: why?

Para: Boner and being female don’t exactly go together..

davepoobond: ….so

davepoobond: i’m only saying wat he said

davepoobond: to tell you

Para: And you are talking to me, why?

davepoobond: cuz…he told me too

davepoobond: he’d give me 15 beenz if i did

Para: Did the cinnamon comment and gay sex interest you? Because I am not into that, and you are wasting your time.

davepoobond: I’M ONLY TELLING YOU WAT HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU

Para: Uh huh

 

#5873: CRAZY PSYCHOPATH -> Celo

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: celo celo celo

Celo: cute

Celo: real cute

Celo: you are about as mature as three year old

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: yay… im mature 4 my age

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: im THIS MANY

Celo: 0?

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: mmmhmmmm

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: how did u know?

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: ur so smart!

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: can i be ur frend?

Celo: no

Celo: please don\’t even try

CRAZY PSYCHOPATH: pleeessseee?

Celo: no, go home

Celo: DON\

 

#5872: lVlajinGohan -> bigmcd

lVlajinGohan: hey

lVlajinGohan: so ur sarah

lVlajinGohan: u got a pic?

lVlajinGohan: asl?

bigmcd: FUCK U

bigmcd: U CUNT

lVlajinGohan: ???

lVlajinGohan: why

bigmcd: MY NAME IS RYAN

bigmcd: U DORK

bigmcd: WOW U PPL R STUPID

bigmcd: SARAH IS NOT ME

bigmcd: AND IM NOT A PORNSTAR

lVlajinGohan: then why the hell did you say ur sarah

lVlajinGohan: your such a dick

bigmcd: AT LEAST I HAV E ONE

lVlajinGohan: you loney guy trying to jackoff to lesbain who think your a girl

bigmcd: GO STRAP ON A SET

bigmcd: SO WUT

lVlajinGohan: that cool

bigmcd: I HAVE A DICK

lVlajinGohan: me too

bigmcd: AND U DONT

lVlajinGohan: im a guy you idoit

lVlajinGohan: it s joke

bigmcd: O

bigmcd: HAPPY HANNAKUAH

lVlajinGohan: i do this for humor

bigmcd: ME 2

bigmcd: AND ITS FUN

bigmcd: IM 12\

lVlajinGohan: yea pretty much it is

lVlajinGohan: im 15

bigmcd: I DO IT ON THE WEEKENDS

bigmcd: IM NOT 12 I LIED

bigmcd: ABOUT A HORNY MAN

lVlajinGohan: really

bigmcd: THAT S 15

bigmcd: AND CANT GET GURLS SO I GO IN LIBEAN CHATS AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND THEM

lVlajinGohan: well thats cool

bigmcd: I KNO

bigmcd: U SHOULD TRY

bigmcd: IT WORKS

lVlajinGohan: what er pleases your mind

bigmcd: IM A PIMP NOW

lVlajinGohan: good for you

bigmcd: ALL BECUZ OF LISBEAN CHATS

bigmcd: I KNO

bigmcd: IT WORKED WONDERS

bigmcd: NOW IM WITH UR MOM

bigmcd: AND UR MOMS MOM

lVlajinGohan: wow just like those pills for your dick

bigmcd: AND

bigmcd: UR SISTER

bigmcd: YA BUT U USED THOOSE I DIDNT

lVlajinGohan: oh well if the chicken wont come out of the pantry then you of course know that icecream doesnt have bones

lVlajinGohan: so my advice is to hump a tree

lVlajinGohan: but make sure you use lubricant

lVlajinGohan: those splinters can be a real hassel

bigmcd: SO U LIKE TO =-O AND THEN U ACT ALL 😀

bigmcd: LUBRICANT

bigmcd: LUBE IT UP

lVlajinGohan: yea Mr.Robinson

lVlajinGohan: hey someone knocked on your door

lVlajinGohan: i think think it might bbe santa

lVlajinGohan: or maybe satan

lVlajinGohan: well dont cross the road if ya cant ge out of the kitchen

Previous message was not received by bigmcd because of error: User bigmcd is not available.

lVlajinGohan: awww he left…but not after warning me

Previous message was not received by bigmcd because of error: User bigmcd is not available.

 

#5871: Squall -> BballSparkle

Squall: Whats up my nig?

BballSparkle: nothing at all…. and hate to break it to ya. .i;m white

Squall: Ohh so your racist now?

BballSparkle: no…..

BballSparkle: I am just stating

Squall: So i cant be like whats up my nig anymore?

BballSparkle: ok u can… I am sorry

Squall: ITs not your fualt i was just making sure you didnt have long hair

BballSparkle: umm… ok

BballSparkle: lol

Squall: IF i told ypou i was racist against dead people would you hate me?

BballSparkle: ummm u mean biased??

Squall: No prejudised

BballSparkle: there ya go

Squall: No there you go

BballSparkle: u told me

Squall: They got cookies in this line….HOLLA

Squall: I SAID HOLLA

BballSparkle: I am ??

Squall: You are??

BballSparkle: right

Squall: So you play Bball?

BballSparkle: yeah

Squall: DO you spark while doing it?

BballSparkle: u knwo it

Squall: LIke dribble spark dribble spark

BballSparkle: well u could put it that way?

Squall: Ohh did you ever light the gym on fire?

BballSparkle: only the one time

Squall: amn you

BballSparkle: I know… it

Squall: Did you extinguish it?

BballSparkle: no… the other team did.. considering I smoked them

Squall: You smoked them??

BballSparkle: yeah ??

Squall: Did you get high?

BballSparkle: did u?

Squall: No did you

BballSparkle: no

Squall: You smoked a whole team and didnt get high?

BballSparkle: I havea high tolerance

Squall: Did you inhale?

BballSparkle: gtg ….

Squall: aight

Squall: Peace out my nig

 

#74: Beetle -> davepoobond

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series Looking For a Slave

During and after the RhyDin SIave Cage this IM happened:

Beetle: now Im looking for a slave

davepoobond: great

Beetle: can you help me

Beetle: I’ve never bought one

davepoobond: yeah, ldy looks like a fiesty one

Beetle: Ldys a slave owner

Beetle: I asked her

davepoobond: kill him

Beetle: who?

davepoobond: the slave owner

davepoobond: duhh

Beetle: Thats a female

davepoobond: so

Beetle: well why

davepoobond: fine, dont

Beetle: well help me you said A pixy was a slave

Beetle: Pixey

davepoobond: no! you want a slave, you get one yourself

Beetle: man How?

davepoobond: you…ask….if anybody wants to be your slave and be forceful about it!

davepoobond: dont ask me

Beetle: man Isn’t there like a Manager

Beetle: cause I’ll hire you

davepoobond: no…

Beetle: well say 10million dollars to find me a slave

davepoobond: hire me what

davepoobond: i dont need money

Beetle: to find me one

davepoobond: brb

Beetle: okay

Beetle: ok

davepoobond: well, when you say 10 million dollars, do u mean US dollars, sent to my front porch, or just 10 million dollars just cuz you can give it to me and get a slave for free

Beetle: (this isn’t IRL ok)

davepoobond: ok

Beetle: so I’ll pay you 10million dollars

Beetle: to find me a slave

davepoobond: how do i know you have the money

Beetle: ::pulls his wallet out pulls out 10million bucks::

Beetle: see

davepoobond: …..now, that amazes me that any one wallet can have 10 million dollars in it at one time

Beetle: Im RICH

Beetle: 10 mil is nothing to me

Beetle: Its pocket change

davepoobond: but……HOW did it fit in your wallet

Beetle: so. do ya

Beetle: I have a very BIG wallet

davepoobond: thats insane, only a homicidal maniac would have a wallet that size

Beetle: WHATS THE POINT

Beetle: ITS 10 MILLION BUCKS

Beetle: fine

Beetle: :;cancel the wallet part::

davepoobond: …….who made the wallet? i oughtta write them a letter for using so much leather

Beetle: ::pulls out 2 bags of money::

Beetle: see 5million in each bag

davepoobond: …….

davepoobond: why would u need 2?

davepoobond: if it was in coins, you’d need at least 10

Beetle: 10million in one bag is 2 much

davepoobond: and if it was in bills, you’d only need one

davepoobond: no

Beetle: its BILLS

Beetle: so I wanted 2

davepoobond: THEY FIT 10 MIL IN A BRIEFCASE

Beetle: I know that

Beetle: I gave 2 cause

Beetle: :;hands him one bag::

davepoobond: yeehaw!

davepoobond: now…..what to do with it…..

Beetle: You get the other when you have a slave

davepoobond: i know!

davepoobond: ::bonks beetle on the head with it::

Beetle: You have 5million BUCKS

Beetle: I DUNNO

davepoobond: hahah! how does it feel to be hit with 5 million bucks

Beetle: GO BUY A CAR

Beetle: not bad

davepoobond: no need for a car in RhyDin

davepoobond: a mouse gives me a ride everywhere

Beetle: now will you be my manager

Beetle: a MOUSE?

davepoobond: ….actually, its a grizzly bear

Beetle: okay

davepoobond: he gets mad when i call him a mouse

Beetle: NYWAY YOUR MY MANAGER OK

Beetle: Oh so his names mouse

Beetle: and hes a bear

davepoobond: no

Beetle: no to what

davepoobond: his name is Joey the socially active grizzly bear

Beetle: oh ok

Beetle: Now are you my Manager in other word my slave finder

davepoobond: ……why

davepoobond: i’m just a dwarf

Beetle: so what

Beetle: you seem like a manager type

davepoobond: why dont you pay yourself to be your manager in other words slave finder guy and find a slave for yourself?

Beetle: I don’t know HOW

davepoobond: then find out how!

Beetle: :;takes 5million back::

Beetle: fine

davepoobond: do u really think i know how?

Beetle: yes I do

davepoobond: well, i dont bucko

Beetle: Okay

davepoobond: that was worth 5 million dollars to waste your time

Beetle: ::hits him on the head with the 5mil::

davepoobond: ouch!

Beetle: hows that feel

davepoobond: i feel like a rich man

Beetle: ::puts 10mil back up::

Beetle: I have the money

davepoobond: ::eats his 10 million dollars::

davepoobond: my stomach does now

Beetle: Oh well

 

#6498: davepoobond -> Solidussnake

In a chat room, Solidussnake was telling people to press alt+F4 on their keyboard.

——————–

davepoobond: hey, when i pressed alt and f4 it didnt do anything cool!

Solidussnake: do it at the same time

Solidussnake: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

davepoobond: nope

davepoobond: nothing happened

davepoobond: i dont know why you’re laughing

davepoobond: its not really that cool

Solidussnake: press the alt button and the f4 button at the same time

davepoobond: ok….the alt…….f4…..

Solidussnake: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

davepoobond: nope nothing happened

Solidussnake: ::cries

davepoobond: does it matter if i’m on a mac or something?

Solidussnake: yes

davepoobond: maybe this only works on a mac

Solidussnake: no

Solidussnake: windows

davepoobond: i have windows

Solidussnake: hmm……..

Solidussnake: it kicks you off

davepoobond: really!

davepoobond: i didnt know that!

davepoobond: ah!

davepoobond: alt f4!

Solidussnake: yep……kicked 30 people offline today…….32

davepoobond: lol

Solidussnake: XD

davepoobond: that’s pretty good there pal

Solidussnake: really?

davepoobond: i was really just messin with ya that whole time

davepoobond: so i guess the jokes on YOU

davepoobond: mwah

davepoobond: mwahahahah

Solidussnake: uh……

davepoobond: hi

Solidussnake: uhhhh…..

davepoobond: anyway. wanna go to my web site?

Solidussnake: ………why???

davepoobond: cuz its a funny web site

davepoobond: u might like it

Solidussnake: …….

davepoobond: so how about it?

davepoobond: you seem to be someone that would enjoy it though, cuz you seem to like to annoy people by making them press alt f4

Solidussnake: 🙂

davepoobond: we’ve got a whole section of stupid IMs and chat rooms

Solidussnake: ………uh………….ok…..

davepoobond: www.squackle.com

Solidussnake: ?

davepoobond: thats the URL