Category Archives: Poetry and Songs

Poetry and songs. Funny and serious.

Poetry and Songs, (F) Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Songs

Anti-Barney the Dinosaur Song #21942

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I hate you

You hate me

Barney gave you H.I.V.

So I kicked him in the balls

And you shot him in the head

Now that purple bastards dead

(I hate him so much)

–

Another version of this song:

I hate you

You hate me

Barney gave me HIV

So I kicked him in the balls

And I punched him in the head

Now that purple bastards dead!

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Ghetto Dreidel Song

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Parody of the actual Dreidel song.

–
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it outta wood

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I played it in the ‘hood

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it outta glass

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I’m gonna kick yo……..

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it outta dough

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I wanna pimp a ho!

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it with my stash

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
Yo mama is white trash!

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I make it while I sing

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I got the madd bling bling!

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I don’t got yo present

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
From projects, represent!

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

Oops I Bit It Again

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Parody of Britney Spears – Oops I Did It Again

–

Some people just blow..

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I bit it again..
I gave you relief, my braces are bent-

Oh babay-

It might seem like a crush-
But it doesn’t mean,
That I’m tearing up… (no tears no)
‘Cause to remove my dentures-
Would be so frightful to see…

Oops I bit it again
I grated your parts,
Then flossed all the same..
Oh babay, babay
Oops, you think that I love
This hint of a shove–
I’m not that into it.

You need to wobble like this-
And screaming I say:
“I wish this here nose,
Didn’t look like this..”
I try watching your ways..
Can’t you see that I drool
Endlessly for days..
But to lose my dentures,
That’s just too frightful to see..
Babay-

Oops I bit it again
I grated your parts,
Then flossed all the same..
Oh babay, babay
Oops,you think that I love
This hint of a shove–
I’m not that into it.

“On all fours!”

“Spitney,
Before you go,
There’s something I want you to have..”
“Oh, a noodle toy!! But I’m late for dinner..Isn’t this?”
“Yeah,with extra fizz..”
“But I thought that ‘Old Faithful’ stopped with
No lotion or gin”
“Well baby, I went down &,popped it for you..”
“Oh you shouldn’t have..”

Oh babay
Oops I bit it again
I grated your parts,
Then flossed all the same..
Oh baby, baby
Oops, you think that I love
This hint of a shove–
I’m not that into it.

Oops I bit it again
I grated your parts,
Then flossed all the same
Oh baby, baby
Oops, you think that I love
This hint of a shove–
I’m not that into it.

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

You Give Stink a Bad Name

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Parody of Bon Jovi – You Give Love a Bad Name

–

C’mon, be honest…it stinks, doesn’t it?

Angel hair pasta is what I smell
I promised you noodles but just gave you shells..
Grains of corn and Cream Of Wheat
Are racking your body and trying to break free..

Oh..
You’re a loaded gun..
Oh..
There’s nowhere to run,
Gas-X can’t save you-
The damage is done..

I smell a fart, and you’re to blame
You give stink a bad name… (damn shame)
You eat Pop Tarts
And then you aim my way
You give stink a bad name… (bad name)

I’m turning pink..

Oh..

Pepto-Bismol on your lips
Beanos fall from your fingertips..
Boston cream & apple pie,
Your very first rip
Blew a whole through your thigh..

Oh..
Youre a loaded gun..
Oh..
Theres nowhere to run-
Maalox can’t save you
The damage is done..

I smell a fart,and you’re to blame hurlin’
You give stink a bad name.. (damn shame)
You eat pop tarts
And then you aim my way
You give stink a bad name… (bad name)

Oh you give stink….

A bad name.

Poetry and Songs, (C) Song Parodies

The Clutch In My Van

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Parody of Britney Spears – Touch Of My Hand

–

She learned to drive at an early age….

I’m not ashamed
To use the high beam,
I find myself parking
When the light is green…

When my tires are blown
I practice my show,
And ride my clutch
With the curtains closed…

And I know my poor brain ain’t right…
When I’m standing by your side…
I’m thinking about
My van all the time..
Motor oil is on my mind.
And where & how it will apply
I love my shelves
Covered in sheep skin
I can’t control this van I’m in…

Cause I’ve just discovered,
My van’s taking over…
I’ll have to hide it from my mother-
The more I come
To understand
The clutch in my van…
And where it’s at
In between my seat
Lately Ive been noticing,
The blisters on me..
The wrinkled up skin
When I’m oily & gray,
I’m learning to drive
In a most serious way..

And I know my poor brain ain’t right…
When I’m standing by your side.
I’m thinking about
My van all the time…
Motor oil is on my mind
And where & how it will apply

Cause I’ve just discovered,
My van’s taking over…
I’ll have to hide it from my mother-
The more I come
To understand
The clutch in my van…

Poetry and Songs, (F) Jingle Bells Songs

Jingle Bells Song #21904

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Jingle Bells
Santa smells
Easter’s on its way
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a beat up Chevrolet!

(Repeat x1)

Dashing down the road
In a beat up Chevrolet
Down the street we go
Gasping all the way

Horns on traffic go
Engine smoking thick
What fun it is to drive and make
People get real sick, oooooh

(Chorus x2)

Now my time’s not right
What a real sad sight
Motor’s blown some oil
Making my blood boil

Rods and pistons gone
What a horrible funk
Because I owe JD Byrider
Five grand for this piece of junk…oooooh

(Chorus x1)

Jingle Bells
Byrider smells
Creditors on their way
Because I owe $5000 bucks
On this beat up Chevrolet!!!