Category Archives: Poetry and Songs

Poetry and songs. Funny and serious.

I Love My Erasers So Much

I really love my erasers so very much

I really like to erase with them, everyday

I can depend on them for being a crutch

Because my erasers will never fray

My erasers are made of rubber because they are

Rubber melts only when you put it in an oven

My erasers will never ever go very far

Their faces I drew, all over I draw with a pen

Some people I let them, to borrow them

So that they can erase and erase and erase

But when I get them back, they are covered with flem

And then I search and search, but I can’t see their face

When I have to draw their faces again

It seems like they’re a whole new eraser again.

Flip Flop –

Flip Flop –

the VCR wobbled to the TV –

and talked – to the remote Remote – Control –

the TV – it snowed – like there was no Tomorrow –

 

The VCR shut off the TV –

he wobbled to the Radio –

the Radio – it said “go away” – like a grumpy old man –

the Radio screeched at the VCR – as it wobbled away –

 

Flip Flop –

Ball in the closet – bounced up and down –

and as it came – to a halt – it frowned –

for It had no way – to hop –

 

Flip Flop –

the only thing that Flip Flopped –

in the house –

was only a – Crazy old mouse –

 

The VCR ate a tape –

like it was a grape – on a vine

and played it – showing it on –

the snowy TV –

 

What it showed –

was nothing more – than a video

of a man –

a man who bounced a – Ball – two times

 

The end of the tape –

was just more – Snow

Snow it was – and all it showed

was snow – forever –

Table Chairs

Table Chairs

Table Chairs

rolling down a hill

oh look, there’s a red one

then theres a poo!

oh no!

oh no!

i peed my pants!

poopoo has joined the party

Damn! I gotta shit!

Shit shit shit!

I can’t hold it no more

Better just let it go

and have a 10 pound sack

and a big brown stain in my gray pantyhose

Maybe my pantyhose will rip

maybe i should grip

the poop, coming out of my bowells

oh lookit me

I wear a blouse!

Now everyone can see me,

now everyone is going to pee on me,

I guess I should never have gone

to that All-Girls school

I’m so full of poopies, I can’t hold back

I should just jump off a cliff

and get it all figured out

bye! and send stuff to squackle too!

poop

poop is so good

it is very good

 

when you poop

its a verb

poop by itself

is a noun

 

its very strange

that this poem

doesn’t even rhyme

cuz this time

i did rhyme

 

a single solitary piece of poop

looks very nasty alone

but it stinks like poop

cuz it is poop

 

you step in poop

there is poop on your shoe

you are not happy when there is poo

on your shoe

 

oh, the wonders of poop!

i wonder what they’ll use poop to do next

probably to eat it

or probably to have a seat in it

Mr. Mister

Mr. Mister is the meanest mister in all the lands.

He hands out sour cream, instead of yogurt

He isn’t the richest person

But he is still a mean person

 

He rapes all the towns grapes

And sometimes he hangs off my drapes!

But for some reason

He is very popular among the peasants

 

He flies in his luxury plane

He got it from the future

I wonder why he did that

It must cost a lot of pennies!

 

One day he went to the grocery store

And the grocery clerk was really board

So Mr. Mister pulled out a hundred

and said do you have change?

 

The grocery clerk said yes and gave him 4 20s

Mr. Mister shook his head and said

no, no, in pennies,

I must buy a kitty

 

It must not be very nice

to have lice

while your rolling dice

in the rice

A City Boy

ALL ALONE… ALL DARKNESS,

IN A STATE OF HELLESSNESS.

I AM THERE, IN THE GLOOM,

MY MMIND IS BANK, AS I AWAIT MY DOOM.

THEN, A VOICE FROM THE CORNER,

“COME IT IS TIME FOR YOUR TORTURE-“

“LET ME REPHRASE THAT, BOO!!”

“I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU.”

“WELL THEN YOU ARE IN FOR A SURPRISE…”

“…FOR YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS DARKNESS HIDES.”

“I AM UP FOR SUPRISES, SHOW YOURSELF.”

THRE WAS A LIGHT, AND HE DID SHOW HIMSELF.

I WAS HORRIFIED AT WHAT I SAW, AND ALL OF THE FUSS,

FOR THERE WERE HUNDREDS OF COWS, ALL YELLING,”MILK US”.