Category Archives: Poetry and Songs

Poetry and songs. Funny and serious.

Bring Your Own Weed

And tonight

there’s gonna be a fight

In the dark

not the light

We’ll meet in the park

And as we wait

We’ll toke it up

And if you’re late

You won’t get a hit

So I suggest

You bring your own weed

And if a pipe’s all you need

I can supply it

But don’t think you’re getting a free hit

And this morning

The cops came to my house

and gave me a warning

“Keep the music down!”

And then knocked me down

So I shot them and said

“You forgot to bring your own weed, man!”

And I sat there

smoking a bowl

or two or three

And then I was there

In that deep dark hole

filled with poo and pee

It looked to me

like I ran out of weed!

The Rhyme Game (Disfunctional Family)

You

got

to

not

poo

on

you

and

me

and

can’t

you

see

the

yellow

in

my

pee?

Hello

window

shallow

water

yellow

water!

Sorry

I

wee

weed

in

the

pool!

And

school

sucks

so

does

your

mom

but

I

heard

your

dad

was

better!

I

fucked

your

sister

the

other

day!

It

was

really

lame

and

gay!

She

kept

calling

out

your

name

as

I

fucked

her

brains

out!

Oh

wait

she

aint

got

none

’cause

of

all

the

fags

she’s

fucked!

I’ve

got

a

lot

of

luck

when

I

scored

with

your

granny!

She

said

she

aint

had

a

real

man

since

she

fucked

you!

And

I’m

blue

not

like

you!

My

balls

fag

my

balls

are

blue!

And

now

I’m

gonna

sue!

Sue

you

and

your

mother

and

your

father

and

your

sister

and

your

granny

and

you!

I’m

all

fucked

up

now

I

think

I’ll

upchuck

now

in

your

mom’s

pussy

and

watch

her

throw

a

tissy

and

then

I’ll

shit

in

her

cunt

and

watch

your

father

lick

it

up!

Wassup?!

My

dick

when

I

saw

you!

Wow

you

fag

get

off

my

dick

I

aint

say

you

could

suck

me!

No!

You

gonna

fuck

me

in

the

butt!

What?

No

you

aint

fagget

get

the

hell

away!

And

that’s

all

for

today!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

My Bitch

There you stand

Like a dumb ass

As you feel the back of my hand

Across your ugly ass face

There aint a damn thing you can do

You know the words so sing

And eat my poo

Don’t take it like a man

Don’t take it like a ho

Getting pimp slapped, oh no

‘Cause you aint my ho

And I aint your pimp

No one would want to fuck you

‘Cause you ugly and have a gimp

So what you gonna do?

Take it like a bitch

That’s right

‘Cause you MY bitch

I’m right

And don’t bitch

Uh huh

About bein’ my bitch

Wuh huh

Be proud to be my bitch

Shoo be do whap

You stupid bitch

Wooby dooby scooby dooby do whap

That’s right, ’cause you MY BITCH!

Now get down and suck it, bitch.

Middle East

Written in conjunction with elmoisfurry

The Middle East is like a pie

Because…

It has an oil filling

It’s crust is sandy

Everyone wants a piece of it

It smells bad

The Middle East is like a word

Because…

one

two

three

The Middle East is like swiss cheese

Because…

It has lots of holes

People like to eat it with crackers

Mmh, the Middle East tastes like sand…cheese…

The Middle East is like a TV set

Because…

People look at it everyday

Lots of porn comes from it

Its really staticy

The Middle East is like an ocean

Because…

Lots of fish are in it

People snorkle in it

It has no water in it

The Middle East is like a salad

Because…

There is lettuce all over

People put ranch dressing on it

People eat it for diets

The Middle East is like an old Ford truck

Because…

It has a crappy engine

Everyone has to pee in it

There is no spell check

The Middle East is like a Nike shoe

Because…

You can pump it up

It has checks all over it

George W. Bush is an idiot

The Middle East is like a box of chocolates

Because…

It melts when its really hot

Its really good with smores

Pie is not retarded

The Middle East is like a chocolate forest

Because…

It has lots of trees

Lots of monkeys live there

Pie is cool

We can do whatever the hell we want because we own this site the end

BLAH BLAH POOOOOOOOOOPIES!!!!!!!!!!!

POOOOOOOOOOPIES!!!!!!!!!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

IM INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

POOPIES R GOOD TO EAT

WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

k bye

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What the Fish Tell Me

This poem was from Ultima VIII, a PC game made a long time ago.

—————————-

Oh the fish tell me all sorts of things,

like when there’s sun and when there’s rain,

They are so nice and very smart,

and bubbles come up when they fart.

 

Oh the fish tell me all sorts of things,

I like to listen to them sing,

They sing of life beneath the sea,

But never mention if they pee.

 

Oh the fish tell me all sorts of things,

like where they are and where they’ve been,

I guess it all just goes to prove,

You can have your friends and eat them too!